i love you

they/it

[mysterypuppys]

Why does perihelion call you my secunit. Let’s stop talking for a while.

[mysterypuppys]

secunit peel this apple for me please. no! no, i am not going to peel an apple for you! but ratthi always does it for me. why does ratthi peel your apples for you? he doesn’t like for me to eat the apples with the skin on it. he says the skin’s loaded with toxins. well, good news. ratthi’s not here. i know he’s not here and that’s why i need you to do it for me please please. oh, jesus. just eat it with the skin on it. i do not like it with the skins, secunit! i’m not allowed to eat it with the skin! i’m not allowed!

[mysterypuppys]

[mysterypuppys]

i have to be awake for work in 5 hours

[entrailer]

sometimes you invent mind prisons for yourself for no good reason and youre like "i really like being in the mind prison" even though you dont actually like being in the mind prison

[mysterypuppys]

i just got off work here comes my roommate asking me to watch his cat im gonna throw that thing out the window.

[mysterypuppys]

i just sliced the shit out of my finger and got blood on my newly cleaned floors

[mysterypuppys]

it’s deep enough to need stitches but not large enough for me to give a fuck

[mysterypuppys]

dick grayson deserves to live on the bathroom floor and die there.

[mysterypuppys]

i just sliced the shit out of my finger and got blood on my newly cleaned floors

[mysterypuppys]

I’m enjoying the fuck out of this passionfruit sorbet these people left

[mysterypuppys]

i sprayed cleaner in my eye and then the bottle cracked and i had to pour the bleach solution into a different bottle and the spray nozzle on that one also broke but it’s not compatible with the old one so im just standing here now

[loiswasadevil]

I actually just got such a good start on Freehanding Stewie

[mysterypuppys]

your housekeeper is a 23 year old jackass please leave a tip. I’ve seen the way you live.

[mysterypuppys]

my 2 jobs are inhale chemicals and bathe old men like this is getting ridiculous.

[mysterypuppys]

i wish i worked the front desk at a gym i would be so good at it i would do jack shit all day and lift weights on the clock and ignore patrons and make a tally of every roid abuser that comes in

[mysterypuppys]

amena in network effect is so funny she’s talking to art and secunit like they’re nervous horses and she’s a girl with a broken leg who is going to win a race if it’s the last thing she does

[mysterypuppys]

airbnb guests are not people.