i really don’t think i can do this anymore, my mental health has spiraled so much lately that i haven’t felt any emotion besides anger and deep ass sadness in more than a month, i tried opening up to my mom about my eating disorder and all she could come up with was trying to put me on a diet because she thinks that once i reach my goal i won’t feel bad anymore and it’ll all go away. i luckily had the courage to stop her but now she knows and i’m so fucking scared. and i feel bad too bc i feel like i’m starting to hate her, everything she does or says irritates me so much and idk why. also we’re searching for a house to move in with her new boyfriend so i won’t even feel a tiny little bit at home anymore. i swear i don’t know what the fuvk to do at this point, i never cry but lately i’ve been crying multiple times a day out of the blue. i’m smoking so fuvking many cigarettes out of boredom and i just want alc0h0l, w33d and ac1ds cuz they’re the only stuff that makes me feel smth and they make a bit of the pain go away for a little. i hate myself so much, i need help but no one is willing to fucking get me some and i don’t know how to ask anymore, what else do i have to do to try and survive. also relationships are all gone to shit and i’m lonely as hell
