Currently vibing the most with 9-1-1 and Heated Rivalry. Iâm a multishipper across all fandoms. Ship and character hate is weird- itâs not that serious. Itâs all play pretend anyway. Ship and let ship etc.
I donât care about celeb personal lives. Seeing people get parasocial about how strangers live their lives creeps me out. Speculating about media: great! Speculating about real peopleâs personal lives: weird.
I enjoy fandom discourse when itâs productive, even if the topic is touchy or critical. I donât vibe with fandom discourse that makes fun of people for their preferences. A lot of fandom think pieces are just that at their core. Also file under: weird.
Iâm friendly! Always happy to chat with anyone about fandom stuff- my messages and inbox are always open.
shane's face after ilya picks him up my god he's so turned on. this guy is 200lbs of pure muscle he follows a diet other professional athletes have never even heard of and spends half his life in the gym, the other half muscling big strong hockey players out the way to get to a puck. and ilya just lifted him right off the ground and is ferrying him over to the bed where he Is Going To Fuck Him. my sweet steaming-engine-brain shane has never blanked so hard in his life. he's barely a person in this moment he is just Hormone
You see I too often sat in school classes and thought âwhen am I ever going to need this, Iâm never going to be an engineer, Iâm never gonna be a scientist, Iâm never gonna be a linguistâ and then I grew up and it turns out a lot of bigots and cults and scams and grifts hinge their entire business model on you just. Not knowing what a protein is or some shit
If people knew what a fucking atom is and how molecules are defined, at least a quarter of all health related cults like movements and scams wouldn't work.
"Ohh it's a different sugar than refined sugar" it's the same molecule.
"Ohhh my water filtering apparatus making beauty water and cleaning water and alkaline water" Water is H20. What you're doing is reverse osmosis, and if it's alkaline then there is a substance that's not water in there to make it alkaline. You can't purify water to a pH of 12, because pure water molecules have, by definition of how the pH system works and several phyics rules, a pH of exactly 7.
"Ooohh it has ~different~ sodium atoms." That's called an isotope and sodium isotopes aren't created by magic woowoo, and the magical ability of most isotopes is radioactivity.
"Low toxin" what toxin. Tell me their names. What are they doing. "They are endocrine disruptors" what part of the endocrine system? How? Do you have a source that doesn't try to sell you something?
"Just mix vinegar and baking soda to cleanse all the toxins of your fruits" you just created water molecules and CO2, and some calcium and acetate which don't have much chemical property. That's a science fair vulcano. And doesn't have acidic or alkaline properties to chemically influence anything. Just use tap water at this point. "My wood cutting board soaked in an alkaline solution from baking soda to clear out the toxins leaves a nasty looking soup" yeah because you were dissolving the wood with an alkaline solution. Congratulations.
"There is effective microorganisms in this ceramic bead and it can cleanse your laundry and dishes and prevent mold in your fridge and it works for years" what microorganisms exactly? How did you discover them? What are they eating? Are they resistant to 60 degrees and steam? Do they procreate in the fridge? Are they spreading out on all surfaces to prevent the mold or is it an air filtration system that works without airflow or is it just magic? "Put them in your flowers, they can reverse cavities, put them in your walls" what are they eating in my walls? What kind of microorganisms are they? Did you test the safety of those things in human bodies? Are they native to my biotope? How do they survive in those fucking ceramic beads?
"Just use vinegar it's magic" it's a mild acid. Like, cool, sure, it works for several things, but it doesn't have magic properties. It's just a mild acid. Lemon juice is too. And once again, if you mix it with baking soda, they neutralise each other and you get water. Which cleans a lot of things but you dont need to do *all that* to get your hands on some plain water.
"Fandom didn't use to be like this" (hardcore vitriol, doxxing and telling people to kill themselves, ignoring all unspoken rules of fandom as a community)
and
"Fandom was always like this" (fighting over stupid shit, insisting there's a "right" way to be a fan, people trying to censor things they didn't like)
first post for context / see the tag 'open relationship au' for more snippets.
2014
It's been two weeks since they last ate dinner together. The last time they did, they got into a stupid argument about something Shane can't even remember and Brian ended up storming out and sleeping at his own place. They met up for a short lunch the next week and made up, but they haven't been able to spend any substantial amount of time alone together since.
Shane is determined for tonight to go well. He got food delivered from Brian's favorite restaurant and picked up a bottle of his favorite wine to pair it with. He even busted out the candles. He's not the best boyfriend, he knows, but he can at least show Brian that he's trying.
Brian seems to be on the same page, because he shows up with a bouquet of flowers and an apologetic smile. He swoops Shane in for a passionate kiss on the doorstep, sending Shane's heart fluttering.
They sit down to eat and it's nice. Cozy in its familiarity. There's still some tension lingering between them but for the first time in two weeks, Shane feels confident they can work through it.
There's a lull in the conversation and Brian straightens, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden.
"You okay?" Shane asks, reaching for him across the table.
Brian takes his hand, squeezing it gratefully. "I'm fine. Just... thinking."
"About?"
"There's something I've been meaning to bring up," Brian says. "I'm just not sure how to say it."
"You could just say it," Shane suggests with a wry smile. He prefers to be told things bluntly and clearly, even when the topic is uncomfortable.
"Right. Things haven't been great between us lately, have they?"
Shane straightens, stomach clenching. He wants to pull his hand back, but Brian is still holding onto it tightly. "I guess so," he agrees reluctantly.
Brian's not about to break up with him, is he?
It would be ideal timing, Shane recognizes distantly. The season is over, he'd have all summer to get over it before he's back on the ice. Or maybe next week would have been better, after the MHL awards in Vegas.
"I think part of the problem is we have so little time together," Brian says, pulling Shane's mind back. "We get frustrated in our time apart, and we take it out on each other."
That's not true, Shane wants to say. Brian's always the one to snap, the one to escalate a disagreement into a fight. But even as he's thinking it, Shane knows he's not being fair. They have different styles of communication, and Shane's bottling up of his emotions is no better than Brian's explosive anger.
"We've also been together for so long," Brian continues. "And I'm afraid we might have fallen into bad patterns."
"Are you breaking up with me?"
The words burst out of him without permission. Shane feels stupid and childish as soon as he's said them.
"Oh, babe," Brian says, squeezing his hand tighter. "Of course not. I love you and I want to be with you."
Relief floods Shane. He manages to give Brian a wobbly smile, which Brian returns, raising Shane's hand to his lips and kissing it.
"I was just thinking... how would you feel about opening up the relationship?"
Shane blinks. For a long moment, he doesn't understand what Brian is saying. It's such a foreign concept to him, a thing he knows other couples do but he never would have thought he'd need to consider.
"What?"
"I think it would be really good for us," Brian says. "Your schedule is so crazy and we can't always line up our free nights. I think this could really take the pressure off for when do find time to be together."
This must be a nightmare. "You want to fuck other people?"
"I want us both to be able to enjoy new experiences. It wouldn't mean we love each other any less. It would just be sex, no strings attached."
"I don't -" Shane's voice catches in his throat. He feels vaguely nauseous. "Are you tired of me?"
Brian pulls back his hand. "Of course not. Jesus, Shane, don't be so close-minded. I know you're surrounded by hockey people all the time and it's a really conservative culture, but open relationships aren't anything unusual. Most of my gay friends are in ones."
"They are?"
"Yeah. And if anything, it brings them closer together."
Shane can't believe he's considering this, but. He's still not over the shock of thinking Brian was about to break up with him. That the person he's been with his entire adult life, the person who's loved and supported him since before he was drafted, could be gone from his life just like that.
If Shane says no, will Brian just break up with him anyway?
"We can try it out," Shane says cautiously. "But I'm not sure - I don't know if I could sleep with someone else."
Briefly, inexplicably, Rozanov flashes through his mind. Shane's heart jumps and he chases the thought away.
Brian gets up, rounding the table to pull Shane in for a kiss. "You're so sweet, but don't say yes just for my benefit. This could be good for both of us. You should at least try."
"...Okay."
Shane can't say he's comfortable with the idea. It feels too much like cheating. But then, he wasn't exactly comfortable with sleeping with Brian at first, either, and that turned out to be one of the best decisions of his life.
Brian smiles at him fondly, stroking Shane's cheek with his thumb. "If it helps, you can think of it like practicing for a game."
The implication sits sour in Shane's gut but he ignores it. Brian's just trying to put it in terms Shane will relate to.
Brian stays the night. Once he's gone, having given Shane a lingering kiss goodbye, Shane pulls up his phone.
He scrolls down to Rozanov's contact. It still feels wrong, but Brian hasn't just given his blessing. He's explicitly encouraged Shane to seek someone else out for no-strings attached sex and if there's one person Shane knows is reliable for it, it's Rozanov.
Besides, it's not like Shane's swimming in other options.
Shane keeps this firmly in mind as he types out his message, ignoring the way his stomach twists in anticipation. He's not excited about this, he reminds himself. This is just an experiment, something he's doing because it will please Brian.
Could we meet up at the awards in private?
His phone buzzes a couple of minutes later with Rozanov's reply.
if you promise not to be a sore loser when i win mvp đ
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WAIT guys im not done horny posting⌠one more thing⌠Shane and Ilya have bare sex, ok and Shane is all have you ever you know done that with anyone before? And Ilya is like hm no not really and Shane is like what do you mean not really. And Ilya is like well with girls sometimes when I was drunk and being stupid, but Iâd always pull out- Iâve only ever cum inside you Shane. And Shane is like. Oh. Because it kinda didnât matter if Ilya had- but he kinda loves that only heâs given Ilya that. And then heâs just like âI canât really picture you being able to pull outâ and Ilya is like all eye brows and âwhat? What kind of chirp is this Hollander? I am not so stupid to maybe get someone pregnantâ and Shane is just all shrug- âwell whenever we- everytime weâve fucked, even with a condom you donât want to come anywhere but inside me. And you push in so deep when you cum sometimes it knocks my breath out. So. I just canât see itâ he shrugs and Ilya is all.
âWhat the fuck shaneâ and heâs maybe a little hard, and Shane is like âI mean itâs really hot. I like it. I just think youâd suck at pulling outâ and heâs got a little smirk and Ilya is like woooow. Turns into bickering which turns into play fighting which turns into dry humping- which turns into Shane on his back with his legs slung over Ilyaâs hips, Ilya pushing into him bare and slick with lube.
Once heâs all the way inside, mouth panting against Shaneâs, Shane stroking his hand through his hair heâs like âmake sure you pull out okay?â And Ilya pulls back to catch Shaneâs eye and that little gleam he gets in it and oh game on. Ilya is like âof course baby, donât wanna get you pregnant, metros stand no chance without next season if youâre knocked upâ and Shaneâs mouth drops open and his cock throbs between them and he lets out a tiny choked sound and oh. Ilya will be investigating that more later.
But it Shane so itâs game on and he swallows and he says âmm only if you canât control yourself big boyâ and Ilya hates how much that turns him on- and then theyâre fucking and Shane is squirmy and loud under him, hands all over Ilyaâs chest and neck and face and down his back and gripping at his ass and Ilya loooves that he can fuck him like this now, on his back and glued close and not hiding anything between them anymore. Ilyas getting close and his brain is swimming because he wonât prove Shane right- he wonât but fuck it feels so fucking good and Shane is so tight and wet and perfect around him and his cock looks so pretty throbbing and jolting with Ilyaâs thrusts and he loves the way Shane shakes around him after heâs cum and Ilya keeps fucking him through it till he fills him and he wants that and he- he canât heâs going to be good.
And then shane is kissing him, pulling at his hair, scratching at his scalp and saying âm closeâ Ilya all low and soft and fuck Ilya loves him and only Ilya gets him like this and they both need this so badly- itâs the whole universe, how good this feels. And Ilya needs Shane to feel good, heâs nodding, kissing Shane back the best he can as he fucks him, harder, deeper, presses his legs apart further the leverage down and in the way Shane loves and Shane is whining, throwing his head back and mumbling âIlya Ilyaâ and Ilya might die, like this, he thinks one day because itâs too good. Itâs already heaven.
âLet go sweetheartâ Ilya is mumbling and shane is nodding and heâs slurring out âdonât cum, donât cum inside remember, you canâ get me preâ and Ilya is fucking him harder then, Shaneâs words stuttering until he cums, back bowed and all over his stomach and chest and heâs so fucking tight round Ilya and Ilya is so fucking close. So close. He needs to cum- but he needs to cum inside Shane.
Heâs never once had an issue with pulling out, happy to cover tits or face or ass in his cum instead, but Shane is all dazed and shivery and post orgasm gorgeous on his cock and his hands are grabbing soft and open at Ilyaâs back and neck, holding him close and Shane loves being full, Ilya knows this, Ilya loves filling him, he stays inside Shane after sex for as long as he can most times and itâs not right itâs not what he wants, to pull out of the warm secure home of Shaneâs body, where he belongs, where Shane takes him like itâs devotion. Ilya is shivering, his shoulder wracking as he fucks Shane and his pace is slowed and he tries to force his hips to stay on the out stroke. To pull back- but he canât, he canât stop driving in, helpless little fucks of his good because this feels to good, being Shaneâs, connected to him, fucking him open, fitting him on him he canât make himself stop.
Ilya frowns and looks up at Shane and Shane is head back, mouth parted, soft smile as he takes Ilyaâs thrusts, his hand on Ilyaâs cheek now, thumb rubbing and Shane mumbles after a big content sigh âfuck baby I love your cockâ and then Ilya is whining, low and driving into Shane, all the way, sinking his cock so deep it must hurt a bit for Shane, till he has no more space to go and he cums so hard his thigh and lower stomach cramp with it, Shaking as he ruts and pushes up up up into Shane, filling him.
When they both have words again, Shane giggles, fuck drunk and swats at Ilyaâs ass and Ilya is shaking his head and pinching at Shaneâs sides and calling him a cheat! A fucking cheat! He didnât play faiiir and Shane is laughing, open and happy and locks his legs behind Ilyaâs back when he does threaten to pull out and kisses his head and tell him itâs okay he wonât tell alone his pull out game is weak and Ilya pins his hands to the bed to tickle him until Shane is kicking at him and flushed all the way down his chest and Ilya gives in. He slumps onto Shane, biting back his smile. Fuck Shane is so fun and lovely and hot and everything he could have ever wanted. He puts his hand over Shaneâs stomach, spreading his cum out with his fingers, making a mess that Shane will start to bitch about in the next ten or so seconds but Ilya beats him to it, pulls back to look at Shane and ask âwhat will we call the baby?â And then Shane is pushing Ilya out of him, avoiding eye contact and flushing and stumbling on dazed legs to the shower. Ilya catches his smile in the bathroom mirror as Ilya chases after him.
is there anything worse than accidentally putting on the non-explicit version of an album? where is my beloved wife fuck and my beautiful daughter cunt?
Imagine having been born in 1905... And all your life it doesn't fucking stop. The Great War, the Spanish Flu, and then you go out of your mind for 7 years. Everyone is traumatised and nothing matters. Then another crash. And then the rise of fascism, and the War to end all Wars didn't and it's 1945 and you're just about still there. You may have fought or ferried the boys from Dunkirk or sabotaged the Nazi occupiers or worked in the factories and put out fires during the Blitz and you're lucky to be alive, because not all your friends made it. But you are and finally, fucking finally, it stops. It stops. You are tough as nails and you can put that strength to work into building something and you do, and people have cars and can buy icecream and you have a pension fund and the kids have money of their own and no nightmares.
I want that for us. I so want that for us. I want to be the generation that has seen fucking everything and is like a MRSA bug and unfazed and when that Cheeto finally dies, I want us to. Plant the gardens and clean the seas because we can and we want to and we remember some joy, some time of trust even when it got broken and we can say to the 20 somethings "let us show you what we can build, how it can feel."
And maybe Gen beta will take it all for granted like the boomers did, but we can give Gen Z and Alpha some peace because we, and Gen Z and Alpha have seen the Dark Times and fuck that noise.
At the start of the Pandemic, my spouseâs grandmother was in an assisted-living home, and of course they were severely locked down, because with no vaccination available and we donât really know how it spreads and no tests and anyone over 80 is deffo gonna dieâŚ. They couldnât take the risks. So they werenât even allowed to leave their rooms. Staff brought meals and left them outside the door, and they left dishes outside, and that was just their life for the foreseeable future.
So we tried to make sure someone called her every day, so she would have some kind of interaction, and one time my spouse asked how she was doing, and her attitude was basically, âYeah, this happens sometimes.â
Because that was her life. She did live through the depression, she did lose three siblings to the last pandemic. She did live through WWII, and sent a son off to Vietnam, and made a family and a household and a career while knowing one slip of a button might wipe out all life on earth. And she lived through it; she survived.
And so 2020 wasnât the end of the world, for her. It was just another thing. Because life is made up of sunshine and rainbows and puppy dogs, AND ALSO fascists and violence and rancid millionaires living high while people starve. And when you are in the middle of the shit times, you acknowledge that theyâre shit, and also that they are not exclusively shit, because they still include spring days and new flowers and people taking care of each other.
And it was just⌠a really helpful perspective to get. You can survive it, you can become strong enough to live to 103 despite everything, you can become a source of strength and joy for everyone around you.
He was on it! Jacobâs adaptation of this show might have never happened if it wasnât for this article.
He DMâd Rachel Reid the day after it was published and the rest is history.
Thinking about Shane hooking up with Marley once in like 2015 (where would they get the opportunity? idk),,,, and Shane feels kinda weird about it because that's Ilya's teammate and friend but also it's not like he and Ilya are anything? And he can't tell Ilya about it anyway without outing Marley so he just kinda sits with that weird feeling and does nothing with it.
Then Marley gets super drunk a couple of months later and guiltily tells Ilya they need to stop having threesomes because he thinks he might be kinda gay and he's not trying to make Ilya uncomfortable. Ilya is thrilled but also kinda put out because it sounds like he wasn't Marley's closet key??
And Marley tells him yes, obviously Ilya is a magnificent looking son of a bitch, but his type in men turns out to be guys who let him push them around a bit. And Ilya's like ohohoh Marley you dog who did you fuck? And Marley (again, drunk off his ass) tells Ilya he's not gonna tell him because he doesn't think Hollander's even out.
Ilya's amusement instantly vanishes because what the hell why would Hollander not tell him about this? Did it happen more than once?? He tries to interrogate Marley but all his drunk ass wants to talk about is how hot Hollzy looked riding him, which is undoubtedly true but not information Ilya cares to know about second hand.
Ilya confronts Shane about this the next time they meet/hook up and Shane very awkwardly goes, "Oh. He told you about that?"
"Yes. He did."
"Sorry," Shane says, then catches himself. "Wait, no I'm not. I didn't know Marleau was out to you, that wasn't my secret to tell. And why do you care anyway, you're also fucking other people?"
"I don't care," Ilya lies, badly. "How did he fuck you?"
He's backing Shane into the kitchen counter and Shane lets him, even though he's pretty annoyed with this line of questioning. "Again, why do you care?"
Ilya's hands encircle Shane's waist, tugging up his shirt to touch bare skin. "He says you rode him."
"Sounds like you already got the play by play," Shane says, even more irritated. Hasn't Marleau ever heard of fucking discretion? Something horrifying occurs to him. "He hasn't been telling other people about it, has he?"
"Just me," Ilya reassures him. He kisses Shane's neck, which annoyingly does a lot to divert his attention to his dick. "He was too drunk to give details, though. You will have to tell me."
"I'm not telling you -" Shane gasps when Ilya bites his neck softly. "Fuck. Not telling you shit."
"Tell me, and I will fuck you exactly like he did."
Shane should not be entertaining this bullshit but the idea of Ilya trying to override his memory of his hook up with Marley by repeating it exactly, like he's trying to stake his claim on Shane or something, is simply too hot not to let happen.
first post for context / see the tag 'open relationship au' for more snippet. just a short little scene this time, takes place shortly after the previous part and probably won't make sense without reading it first. assume all the dialogue is in russian, please.
2012
Sveta is in Boston for the weekend. They don't fuck on Friday because she has a boyfriend; by Saturday morning, this is no longer the case.
"He was pissing me off," Sveta says, sipping on her coffee. "Texting me every forty fucking minutes to make sure I wasn't cheating on him with you."
"It is only natural to be jealous of me," Ilya says humbly.
Sveta gives him an unamused look. "He was being insecure. I don't put up with insecure men."
"There is a lot you don't put up with," Ilya remarks.
"I know my worth."
It was her third short-lived relationship of the year. Sveta suffers from an unfortunate combination of high standards and terrible taste in men. It makes Ilya think of Hollander, who has the same trash taste but none of Sveta's good judgment.
Maybe Ilya could use her advice.
"I have a..." Ilya struggles to find the next word. Colleague? Rival? He settles on, "Friend. Jane. Who has a terrible boyfriend. But she refuses to see it."
"Terrible how?" Sveta asks, leaning in. Always eager for gossip, much as she tries to deny it. "Tell me."
Ilya does. It feels a little bit wrong, sharing Hollander's secret with someone who is a stranger to him, but it's not like Sveta is going to put the pieces together. None of the ones Ilya has handed to her fit.
By the time Ilya has told her everything, Sveta's expression has turned stormy.
"What do you think?" Ilya asks.
Sveta purses her lips. "I think I need to hunt Jane's boyfriend for sport."
Vindication! "I told you he was terrible."
"But," Sveta says, "if she doesn't want to see it, she won't."
"How do I make her see it?"
Sveta shrugs helplessly and Ilya groans, slumping against the kitchen counter.
"What the hell did I tell you all this for, then?" he grouses.
"Is he another player?" Sveta asks and for one terrifying moment, Ilya thinks she means Jane. But of course, she doesn't. "If he is, you could break his jaw next time you play. He needs it wired shut, can't eat her out for a few weeks, Jane becomes sexually frustrated and you swoop in and seduce her."
"You are joking," Ilya says flatly. "This is a joke to you?"
Sveta frowns, looking genuinely insulted. "Well, sexual chemistry is important in a relationship!" She takes a long sip of her coffee. "Whatever. You should break his jaw anyway."
Ilya can't argue with that.
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