it is kinda crazy how people simultaneously do a lot of loud worrying about csa and the nefarious pedophiles grooming their kids but then also do what should be seen as obvious preemptive sexual grooming on their own kids. the culture of “youre my kid” with an unsubtle undertone of possession and also the entitlement to children’s bodies that most parents have is like just. like when you make it clear to your kids that they have no right to bodily autonomy or that their upset over you touching them a certain way is inappropriate and not valid how are you going to expect that they then magically are able to say that those same feelings are suddenly valid when they’re caused by someone else? like so much of child raising involves such antagonistic and oftentimes physically violent forced access to children’s bodies often despite their active verbal nonconsent. and youre somehow unable to make the connection as to how this type of boundary stomping erodes someone’s ability to identify when your discomfort is “valid” vs “not valid” and how that would clearly leave someone incredibly vulnerable to sexual abuse
like i don’t want to say EVERYONE but i will say a LOT of people would be able to identify at least 2-5 instances in their childhood when they felt that their bodily autonomy was violated by a parent in a way that really upset them, even if it wasn’t like, purposefully sexual. and some people kinda brush it aside as just normal childhood stuff and others hang onto it and others repress it. but like the way people who might even nominally be against child abuse will treat their kids’ boundaries around their bodies is DERANGEDDDD
like i think the “i gave birth to you, i get to see your naked body/see you do embarrassing or private things/ignore your boundaries around nudity or sexuality” genre of this is a weirdly common one that isn’t necessarily physically violent but that would be seen as sexually abusive if you did this to an unrelated adult. but like when mothers force their way into the bathroom despite protests while their tween child is showering/using the bathroom or into their bedroom while they’re changing clothes youre meant to think its just normal family stuff
