Racing Turtle

[myturtlespeedy]

Sorry I haven’t been around much I’ve been on laying on my floor, staring up at the ceiling in a catatonic fugue state of anxiety and dread.

Mondays; am I right??

[myturtlespeedy]

Beef Wellington is just a fancy corn dog.

[myturtlespeedy]

All the arguments I’m hearing against Katie Porter boil down to her being and angry b*tch and I’m like Good.

I hope so.

That’s exactly what I want.

I want someone walking around ripping the testicles off of dudes.

Ya’ll are sleeping on how awesome it is having someone like that in your corner.

[myturtlespeedy]

We are not owed limitless community that we don’t contribute to.

[myturtlespeedy]

In the pre-chat for my online D&D game we are discussing the Devil Wears Prada 2 tie in with Starbucks and what Miranda’s order entails.

[myturtlespeedy]

My favorite function of my handlebar-less waking pad is when it randomly errors out and completely stops mid stride.

0 out of 10

Would not buy again.

[myturtlespeedy]

Everyone be quiet, my show is on.

[myturtlespeedy]

Okay first of all; how dare you?

[myturtlespeedy]

Secondly; who do you think you are?

No

One

Makes

My

Perfect

Doctor

Queen

Cry

She

Has

Never

Done

Anything

Wrong

[myturtlespeedy]

Everyone be quiet, my show is on.

[myturtlespeedy]

Okay first of all; how dare you?

[myturtlespeedy]

Everyone be quiet, my show is on.

[myturtlespeedy]

[myturtlespeedy]

What is today, if not yesterday in a dumber hat?

[myturtlespeedy]

All hail Med Student Joy Kwon! Our Work Life Balance Queen!

[myturtlespeedy]

DANGER vicious guard dog

[myturtlespeedy]

I’m two hours into this Monday and I’m not impressed.

You better get your shit together, Monday.

[myturtlespeedy]

It’s not the public’s job to accept civilian casualties when their country goes to war. It’s the government’s job to accept that, if they choose to go to war, there will be civilian casualties and they will suffer the outrage of a rightfully angered public.

[myturtlespeedy]

Working remotely today, in a small office in the warehouse. One of the people in here has a wet cough.

[myturtlespeedy]

World coming to an end and I’m over here trying to find creative ways to manage my salt intake