Brittany Leann

~ Just another twenty year old trying to find her way n this world ~

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

Hell

i cant seem to to get this image from my mind its clawing at the bars of the cage i locked it  in long ago and right now its blurry fuzzy even but slowly its coming into view. How foolish of me to think i could actually lock your memory away the view is focusing in until finally im locked in place eyes glue solemnly on you. The blue eyes that i could stair in for hours the smirk that lite up your entire face when you were happy or excited and we could never forget the hair. I cant believe i was able to lock the monster away this long but its too late hes lose and running a havoc in my heart again. I locked you away so i couldn't feel the pain i could manage the emptiness iv fault that all my life we’re almost friends but the pain the pain is just too much but this time i get to fight the beast with your voice in my ear and you right in front of me ..... At first i thought okay this is good it will lessen the pain and i could get you back in your cage until i realized with you here i don't want you back in your cage i want to wrap my arms around you and lay my head on your chest like old times.But there is someone new in my place im my home and that's when it all hits me i was remembering heaven and the images flash in my mind because when i locked the cage in hell with you in it i couldn't stand to be apart so i locked myself with you.

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

because right now im missing you and im not sure how much longer i can do this without you 

[poems-and-words]

[poems-and-words]

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

" i dare you" she said he shook his head with his arms still snaked around her waist holding her close as a smirk grew on his face she laughed " chicken" she tease, " nahh" he continued to smirk " then i dare yo..." she didn't finish because at the moment he drew her closer and crashed his lips onto hers and finally she was home. - a first kiss

[tenwordstory]

I’ll remember all of it Down to the smallest detail  I’ll remember you. You’re convinced I won’t That I won’t think of you But little do you know, I think about you every day.

I’ll remember you (168 out of 365)

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

Part Whatever

i have neglected finishing this because truth be told there is no ending the story continues we stopped talking and then we picked back up except he tried to move on and couldn't finally confessing i was his soul mate and he loved me that's all i ever wanted to hear from him was that he loved he back and he does talking and talking about old times and new ones too come i think this is our second chance at love because no matter what i will never love another man as i love him and there is a piece of my heart i gave away along time ago and ill never get that back or be able to replace it 

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

Dear New Me

im sure you never thought you'd ever talk to me but im sure in the back of your mind you’ve had questions some you would never voice out loud dont worry we all did. I wanna tell you to go ahead and end it now before you get trapped even more and no before you start the cussing and calling me names it is not because i want him back i ill always love him but the ship has sailed and i deserve better as do you. Tell me does he make you feel like the only girl in the world like your special, does he make your heart skip a beat when he manages to be overly sweet yea he made me feel like that too. Does he tell you your the only one for him or does he avoid the topic so he doesnt have to lie? Your not official yet are you  but you know its coming any day now right ? Im sorry to be the one that has to tell you but it wont your holding out hope for something that isnt even in his vocabulary . Maybe he hasn't trapped you as bad as he had me but if you dont get out now he will eventually he’ll get you right where he wants you but then that will become to much to him so he’ll pull his magic trick and houdni his way out , how do i know this for sure? how do i know your not different then the rest? is what your probably saying right now and i know because on daily hes in my messages talking about how much he misses me, things about me and things we did together , how much he wants to see me again and has asked me number of times to come see him even trying to get me to spend next week with him while his family is away on vacation and right now i can name a few other girls that's in his messages too. He cant stand the thought of being alone so he gets these girls and he keeps them only going as far as texting phone calls and video chat you’ll never see him in person he will never invite you over to his house you’ll never sleep in the bed him and i use to share. I am by no means trying to be harsh but as some say the truth hurts and for me it hurt alot , i was in love with him and for a while there he made me feel like he loved me too like i had finally got it right with the person i was so post to be with i had to thank god every day for putting this man in my life  then my eyes was open he wasnt a man but still a boy playing a game and by no means am i trying to bash him as him and i are still close friends bet he doesnt tell you about how many of his ex girlfriends hes still friends with and even his first love who truely made him the way he is he is still friends with and infact was with her just last week. I wasnt smart enough to walk away when i should have and in reading this i hope you make a better choice than i did and still doing,

- The ex girlfriend

[poems-and-words]

[poems-and-words]

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

Part Nine

you probably thought the story was over... not even close there really is no ending just new beginnings. A week and a half is all it lasted and he asked me to come stay the weekend i missed him so much and was still so hurt but when you go from falling asleep with a person beside you for so long and then having to cut that cold turkey it takes a tole mentally and emotionally i said yes right away i couldnt wait to get “home” because home to me was no longer four walls but two arms and a heartbeat. That Friday a close mutual friend picked me up and on my way i went , being back around him felt like nothing had changed we really didnt touch much at first i sat in my usual spot beside him as our friend took the chair then it started back the shit talking the playing around tickle attacks it was actually better than ever i had missed it and him so much the friend left and we was alone for the first time as it felt in forever we talked like real conversations and joked around more laughing and cutting up , it was always our normal thing that night i fell asleep in his arms. I remembered turning towards the wall at some point that night leavng his arms and half asleep about five minutes after i did he turned towards me wrapping his arm around me pulling me tighter and closer to his chest cuddling with me i thought he was asleep until he said my name and i answered with a yes then he started to lightly snore again but then he spoke again after several minutes im sorry he said i turned my head slightly to see him but the movement caused him to tighten his grip and shift us closer together i asked him sorry for what but he started snoring again... he was talking to me in his sleep after a few minutes that i think he finally is back to sleep for good i get comfortable but he starts again this time forming sentences “ im sorry for hurting you i never wanted that i love you i really do but im fucked up and you dont deserve that” snores again for a few seconds this time and then “ i love you” this time he falls asleep completely and im just shocked yes hes talked in his sleep alot before but never somingthing this important to my heart i fell asleep with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face i was in my safe haven in the arms of the boy i loved and just confessed he loved me too 

[tenwordstory]

I think I’ll fall in love again, someday in the future And this person, They’re fucked Because I don’t think, I could love someone so fully As I did with you

-fully loved (153 out of 365)

[poems-and-words]

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

UPDATE THE STORY

two more parts have been updated

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

Part Eight

The next morning was spent crying then a few friends came over so things got lightened a little after you departing to run up to the store our friend turned to me asking what had happen, he knew our story better than most and in my emotional state i told him what had went down the last couple days he looks at me shocked and all he says is “ thats really messed up you that dont you and you deserve better, way better” i just shook my head wiling tears away i didnt like when people kept telling me i deserved better in the past couple days i had done had several mutual friends tell me that but i didnt think so you see he never hurt me physically he was perfect in so many ways and in others not so much but looking back i see what they ment i gave him everything and every bit of love i had he got and i tried my best to make him happy but it wasnt enough they ment i deserved someone you gave me what i was giving them and he wasnt. A few hours later my aunt comes as the guys and him load her car up with my things we walk back in the house to make sure i have everything and even though public show of affection wasnt his thing in front of his guys he pulled me into his arms and held me tight whispering in my ear i almost lost it but i held it together i didnt want to cry in front of him anymore i didnt want him to see how hurt i was we pulled away only to end in a quick kiss as i turned to go out the door as i heard him call over my shoulder to text him later. My aunts car doesnt even make the end of the drive way before im in tears. I just had to walk away from the boy i was in love with and all i felt was broken and numb but yet i could literally feel my heart breaking.

[mywildandwonderfullworld]

Part Seven

Things stayed good after that the laughs never went away and the memories we kept making what i didnt know was that a storm was brewing and the thunder was going to be too much. You changed ‘Us” was not something you wanted anymore you wanted it to go back how we were before finally getting with each other, friends but you didnt want me to leave you wanted me to remain there sharing a bed with you but we couldn't touch. My world fell apart and for two days i had to decide with i was to remain there or part ways i cried every chance there was to cry i never wanted to leave you were always my happy and safe place no matter what we were but i wasnt sure i could handle watching you possibly love another right infront of my eyes. You were basicly asking to have your cake and eat it too life doesnt work that way so i decided to leave the next day my aunt was coming to get me so i spent that night packing we tried to not make it as hard as it was we laughed and then cried i was procrastinating and the moment you looked at me and asked if i could hurry up because sitting there watching me and knowing i was gonna leave was breaking your heart. I cried harder i was hurting so bad i didnt want to leave but i knew it was the right thing to do in the long run. Finishing packing we finally got ready to bed and unlike the night before you pulled me tightly into your arms and kissed me as we both cried soon we both fell asleep knowing what tomorrow was gonna bring.

[poems-and-words]