Why you donât actually want a relationship like Laszlo and Nadjaâs (an examination of misogyny in Wwdits + the comedy genre overall)
Disclaimer: In this essay, I criticize how Laszlo and Nadjaâs relationship is written, as well as Laszlo as a character. Iâm putting it under the cut, so if you donât want to see that, you donât have to. You can just scroll and move on. This isnât intended to start meaningless ship discourse, but rather add to the discussion about the misogyny in this show. Iâm just an autistic person who really likes to yap about gender issues and media lmao.
So, we all love to criticize the misogyny problem in Wwdits, however there isâwhat I feelâan important piece missing in this conversation, which is how Laszlo and Nadjaâs relationship is written.
We all know that classic sitcom m/f married couple dynamicâthe husband is selfish, lazy, foolish, and casually cruel to his wife, meanwhile the wife is long suffering and does everything for him. Itâs a tale as old as time, and one thatâs been criticized at length for its normalization of misogynistic and abusive relationship dynamics.
Now some of you are about to be real mad at me, but it must be said: Laszlo and Nadja pretty comfortably fall into that dynamic. And sometimes I genuinely feel like Iâm going crazy that seemingly no one else notices that. Like they really are not that different from any other sitcom husband and wife, with some exceptions, such as them both being queer (Laszlo being allowed to express this far more than Nadja) and having an open relationship. But these dynamics are still very much at play despite those things.Â
Let me give some examples:
Laszlo exerts control over Nadja. Nadja may have turned Laszlo, she may put him in his place, and she may be strong and confidentâbut heâs still the one in control. This is apparent in big things like keeping her from getting a human job (my heart broke when Nadja said âthink of what I could have become if I had learned the ways of the humans 50 years agoâ), to smaller things like not allowing her to watch her favorite movie because it makes him feel bad. And then thereâs the subtle ways she is controlled by him, like the way she was afraid to go to London because she knew he wouldnât take care of himself without her there. The way she feels responsible for thatâthe way he has made her feel responsible for that. And she was right to fear that, too, because the house was a disaster when she got back. And part of the whole reason that Nadja started the nightclub was to fix that damage even though it wasnât even hers to begin with. I also just think itâs insane that she had to use sleep hypnosis to get that man to clean up after himself lmao.
Laszloâs pattern of abandoning Nadja without a second thought. Like when he left her to be Jackie Daytona, and even considered at one point if he should stay as Jackie Daytona forever, while she was at home distraught. And then, of course, when he sent her off to London, when he left her to go make a deal with the devil in California, when he didnât offer to come with her when she thought sheâd have to flee in Local News (meanwhile she was heartbroken at the idea, he didnât even shed a tear). Obviously, Laszlo loves her, but he does not always cherish her on the same emotional level that she cherishes him. He most definitely takes her for granted, and he will always put himself first (or other men, like Colin or Sean)
Laszloâs misogynistic views. Laszlo consistently believes that Nadja canât fend for herself no matter how many times that she has proven that she can. As the man, he believes itâs his job to be the strong one, the protector. Another example is when he kept insisting that Nadja hated Gail no matter how many times she said otherwise, and Nadja realized itâs probably because theyâre both women. And that whole fucking âitâs your time of the monthâ thing and him implying sheâs too dumb to understand science and not denying it when she called him out on it, only to be like nooo donât be mad youâre so sexy ahaha.Â
Laszlo doesnât respect Nadjaâs Greek family, and thinks lowly of her people. He called them peasants, treated them like theyâre unintelligent, and that fucking song he sang. Like, he really didnât for one second stop and think about any of what he was doing. And the way that Nadja knew before Laszlo even came to visit that he would do something stupid and embarrass her. And also, what does this say about how he sees her? He put it himself in that one quote everyone loves to put in edits and aww over. âI married the most beautiful, simple girlâ Iâm sorry, but even if he was just quoting people, itâs still gross to me. It felt backhanded.Â
Laszlo is literally the reason Nadjaâs nightclub went under. He acknowledged himself that Baby Colinâs act was the sole reason the club was still going (and was so fucking insulting about it too, even though that club meant so much to her) and still chose to be an asshole anyways so he could go be a pageant mom. And then he comes strolling back like âmy dahling Iâve figured out a way to save the clubâ as if it wasnât all his fault. While she was sitting around drunk and sad, and went running into his arms despite everything. But he just has to be the hero. The entire nightclub arc just makes me so sad. She was so happy, so proud of it. And yes, Baby Colin was going to hit puberty anyways. But it doesnât matterâLaszlo didnât know that, he just decided to be a prick for no reason because his ego canât handle when something isnât about him.Â
Laszlo constantly puts Nadja down. Like when he shut down her belief in ghosts, then pretended he couldnât see Gregor because he couldnât handle being wrong. Or when Nadja was so excited to get a position on the vampiric council and Laszlo was just like âwho gives a fuckâ, and you could tell that made Nadja feel dejected. These are just the ones off the top of my head right now, but itâs something I notice a lot of when I rewatch.Â
Laszlo has literally cheated on Nadja. People let Laszlo way too off the hook for the Witches episode. He straight up cheated on her! And donât bring up their open relationshipâyou can still cheat in an open relationship because they require boundaries and rulesâLaszlo broke those rules. And the excuse he gaveâeither heâs lying, or he genuinely canât tell the difference between his wife and a woman with dark hair and a vaguely European accent. Neither is great. Nadja also didnât know that Laszlo was fucking Nandor either, and at the end of the episode they go to jerk each other off which obviously wasnât pre-negotiated with her.Â
Laszlo doesnât go down on Nadja and this alone should dethrone him of his malewife status. Any king who doesnât is no king at all.
Nadja had to practically plan that whole orgy all by herself even though she did not give a fuck about it, only to have it ruined by Laszlo embarrassing her in front of everyone because she lightly criticized his boring ass pornos.
And then thereâs just the way that Nadja seems so much happier and at ease when she gets to have space away from Laszlo and the other men of the house, especially when she gets to be around other women. Sheâs like a whole other person, someone a lot sweeter and more energetic. Itâs gotta be fucking exhausting being the only woman in a space of very stupid men lmao.
And these were just off the top of my head. And this fandom is aware of these things, but theyâre always just brushed off as âthis writing is OOC! Laszlo would never say/do this!â Which Iâd maybe get if Laszlo didnât consistently say and do those things. At what point does it stop being OOC and become just apart of his characterization, ya know? Itâs not just little incidents of bad writing.
I think part of the problem here is that people have a different Laszlo in their heads than the one thatâs actually on screen. This happens a lot in fandoms, especially with male characters that people get attached to. People really struggle with the concept that you can love a character even if theyâre not perfect or straight up are not a good person. Sure, Laszlo can be kind and empathetic, but he still very much can be cruel and apathetic. These are both true of his character, but people only like to acknowledge the good side of him because heâs their favorite character, or because he has father trauma, or because heâs so gender envy or whatever. I see it a lot with the Baby Colin Robinson arc, too; people act like Laszlo was father of the year, but he was horrible to Baby Colin. He constantly endangered him and put him down, and only accepted him for who he was when he could gain something from it. He loved that kid, for sure, but he did not break that damn cycle lmao.
âLaszlo would never say/do that!â but the thing is, he would, because he did. Laszlo isnât a real person, heâs a character. And the way he is written is the way the people in charge of this show intended him to be. You can fix that in fanfic, you can choose to ignore it, whatever, thatâs fine. But it doesnât change the fact that thatâs what they chose to do with his character. I adore this show, but itâs still very much made by a man, and adapted from a movie made by and exclusively starring men, in a very male dominated genre. Laszlo is not the first male character to fit the tropes he does, and Laszlo and Nadja are not the first fictional m/f couple to fit the tropes they do.
Nowâwhy does this even matter? I mean, this is just one fictional couple in a sea of others. But thatâs the point Iâm trying to make here: this shit is so deeply normalized. And not just in the media, in real life too. I think every woman who has or currently dates men has experienced behavior like this. Before I came out, I absolutely did. And Iâve been unpacking so much after that, which has made it really hard for me to unsee this shit. This does mean that Iâm now that annoying feminist who has to ruin the jokes for people, but Iâm not ashamed of that. Because while this might be just fiction, it is a part of a wider conversation. The way women are treated on screen is absolutely reflective of how theyâre treated in real life. Men get away with so much, because theyâre funny, or charming, or because they donât âseem like the typeâ.
Iâd really recommend the show Kevin can fuck himself to anyone whoâs read this far. It examines the way misogyny and emotional abuse of women is normalized and overlooked in real life through the lense of how itâs normalized and overlooked in sitcoms. After you watch that show your eyes will be open WIDE lmao.
Overall: Itâs not my goal here to try and ruin anyone's fun, or tell them what to ship or whatever. Like, I know Iâm probably gonna get people being like âlet people enjoy things!â and like, go ahead, Iâm not stopping you. Iâm not an authority here. You can still love this couple, you can still love Laszlo, you can do whatever you want forever I donât give a fuck. I personally want Nadja to leave Laszlo for a woman who will actually be emotionally available to her and eat her out like the queen she is, but to each their own. Because ultimately, they arenât real, but the issues that they reflect definitely are.
Iâm sorry but as a lesbian like 95% of the m/f pairings you people will call âgirlboss x malewifeâ âyuri codedâ âtheyâre actually lesbians theyâre butch/femmeâ âshe pegs himâ etc etc etc just look like this to me
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