Why you don’t actually want a relationship like Laszlo and Nadja’s (an examination of misogyny in Wwdits + the comedy genre overall)
Disclaimer: In this essay, I criticize how Laszlo and Nadja’s relationship is written, as well as Laszlo as a character. I’m putting it under the cut, so if you don’t want to see that, you don’t have to. You can just scroll and move on. This isn’t intended to start meaningless ship discourse, but rather add to the discussion about the misogyny in this show. I’m just an autistic person who really likes to yap about gender issues and media lmao.
So, we all love to criticize the misogyny problem in Wwdits, however there is—what I feel—an important piece missing in this conversation, which is how Laszlo and Nadja’s relationship is written.
We all know that classic sitcom m/f married couple dynamic—the husband is selfish, lazy, foolish, and casually cruel to his wife, meanwhile the wife is long suffering and does everything for him. It’s a tale as old as time, and one that’s been criticized at length for its normalization of misogynistic and abusive relationship dynamics.
Now some of you are about to be real mad at me, but it must be said: Laszlo and Nadja pretty comfortably fall into that dynamic. And sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m going crazy that seemingly no one else notices that. Like they really are not that different from any other sitcom husband and wife, with some exceptions, such as them both being queer (Laszlo being allowed to express this far more than Nadja) and having an open relationship. But these dynamics are still very much at play despite those things.
Let me give some examples:
Laszlo exerts control over Nadja. Nadja may have turned Laszlo, she may put him in his place, and she may be strong and confident—but he’s still the one in control. This is apparent in big things like keeping her from getting a human job (my heart broke when Nadja said “think of what I could have become if I had learned the ways of the humans 50 years ago”), to smaller things like not allowing her to watch her favorite movie because it makes him feel bad. And then there’s the subtle ways she is controlled by him, like the way she was afraid to go to London because she knew he wouldn’t take care of himself without her there. The way she feels responsible for that—the way he has made her feel responsible for that. And she was right to fear that, too, because the house was a disaster when she got back. And part of the whole reason that Nadja started the nightclub was to fix that damage even though it wasn’t even hers to begin with. I also just think it’s insane that she had to use sleep hypnosis to get that man to clean up after himself lmao.
Laszlo’s pattern of abandoning Nadja without a second thought. Like when he left her to be Jackie Daytona, and even considered at one point if he should stay as Jackie Daytona forever, while she was at home distraught. And then, of course, when he sent her off to London, when he left her to go make a deal with the devil in California, when he didn’t offer to come with her when she thought she’d have to flee in Local News (meanwhile she was heartbroken at the idea, he didn’t even shed a tear). Obviously, Laszlo loves her, but he does not always cherish her on the same emotional level that she cherishes him. He most definitely takes her for granted, and he will always put himself first (or other men, like Colin or Sean)
Laszlo’s misogynistic views. Laszlo consistently believes that Nadja can’t fend for herself no matter how many times that she has proven that she can. As the man, he believes it’s his job to be the strong one, the protector. Another example is when he kept insisting that Nadja hated Gail no matter how many times she said otherwise, and Nadja realized it’s probably because they’re both women. And that whole fucking “it’s your time of the month” thing and him implying she’s too dumb to understand science and not denying it when she called him out on it, only to be like nooo don’t be mad you’re so sexy ahaha.
Laszlo doesn’t respect Nadja’s Greek family, and thinks lowly of her people. He called them peasants, treated them like they’re unintelligent, and that fucking song he sang. Like, he really didn’t for one second stop and think about any of what he was doing. And the way that Nadja knew before Laszlo even came to visit that he would do something stupid and embarrass her. And also, what does this say about how he sees her? He put it himself in that one quote everyone loves to put in edits and aww over. “I married the most beautiful, simple girl” I’m sorry, but even if he was just quoting people, it’s still gross to me. It felt backhanded.
Laszlo is literally the reason Nadja’s nightclub went under. He acknowledged himself that Baby Colin’s act was the sole reason the club was still going (and was so fucking insulting about it too, even though that club meant so much to her) and still chose to be an asshole anyways so he could go be a pageant mom. And then he comes strolling back like “my dahling I’ve figured out a way to save the club” as if it wasn’t all his fault. While she was sitting around drunk and sad, and went running into his arms despite everything. But he just has to be the hero. The entire nightclub arc just makes me so sad. She was so happy, so proud of it. And yes, Baby Colin was going to hit puberty anyways. But it doesn’t matter—Laszlo didn’t know that, he just decided to be a prick for no reason because his ego can’t handle when something isn’t about him.
Laszlo constantly puts Nadja down. Like when he shut down her belief in ghosts, then pretended he couldn’t see Gregor because he couldn’t handle being wrong. Or when Nadja was so excited to get a position on the vampiric council and Laszlo was just like “who gives a fuck”, and you could tell that made Nadja feel dejected. These are just the ones off the top of my head right now, but it’s something I notice a lot of when I rewatch.
Laszlo has literally cheated on Nadja. People let Laszlo way too off the hook for the Witches episode. He straight up cheated on her! And don’t bring up their open relationship—you can still cheat in an open relationship because they require boundaries and rules—Laszlo broke those rules. And the excuse he gave—either he’s lying, or he genuinely can’t tell the difference between his wife and a woman with dark hair and a vaguely European accent. Neither is great. Nadja also didn’t know that Laszlo was fucking Nandor either, and at the end of the episode they go to jerk each other off which obviously wasn’t pre-negotiated with her.
Laszlo doesn’t go down on Nadja and this alone should dethrone him of his malewife status. Any king who doesn’t is no king at all.
Nadja had to practically plan that whole orgy all by herself even though she did not give a fuck about it, only to have it ruined by Laszlo embarrassing her in front of everyone because she lightly criticized his boring ass pornos.
And then there’s just the way that Nadja seems so much happier and at ease when she gets to have space away from Laszlo and the other men of the house, especially when she gets to be around other women. She’s like a whole other person, someone a lot sweeter and more energetic. It’s gotta be fucking exhausting being the only woman in a space of very stupid men lmao.
And these were just off the top of my head. And this fandom is aware of these things, but they’re always just brushed off as “this writing is OOC! Laszlo would never say/do this!” Which I’d maybe get if Laszlo didn’t consistently say and do those things. At what point does it stop being OOC and become just apart of his characterization, ya know? It’s not just little incidents of bad writing.
I think part of the problem here is that people have a different Laszlo in their heads than the one that’s actually on screen. This happens a lot in fandoms, especially with male characters that people get attached to. People really struggle with the concept that you can love a character even if they’re not perfect or straight up are not a good person. Sure, Laszlo can be kind and empathetic, but he still very much can be cruel and apathetic. These are both true of his character, but people only like to acknowledge the good side of him because he’s their favorite character, or because he has father trauma, or because he’s so gender envy or whatever. I see it a lot with the Baby Colin Robinson arc, too; people act like Laszlo was father of the year, but he was horrible to Baby Colin. He constantly endangered him and put him down, and only accepted him for who he was when he could gain something from it. He loved that kid, for sure, but he did not break that damn cycle lmao.
“Laszlo would never say/do that!” but the thing is, he would, because he did. Laszlo isn’t a real person, he’s a character. And the way he is written is the way the people in charge of this show intended him to be. You can fix that in fanfic, you can choose to ignore it, whatever, that’s fine. But it doesn’t change the fact that that’s what they chose to do with his character. I adore this show, but it’s still very much made by a man, and adapted from a movie made by and exclusively starring men, in a very male dominated genre. Laszlo is not the first male character to fit the tropes he does, and Laszlo and Nadja are not the first fictional m/f couple to fit the tropes they do.
Now—why does this even matter? I mean, this is just one fictional couple in a sea of others. But that’s the point I’m trying to make here: this shit is so deeply normalized. And not just in the media, in real life too. I think every woman who has or currently dates men has experienced behavior like this. Before I came out, I absolutely did. And I’ve been unpacking so much after that, which has made it really hard for me to unsee this shit. This does mean that I’m now that annoying feminist who has to ruin the jokes for people, but I’m not ashamed of that. Because while this might be just fiction, it is a part of a wider conversation. The way women are treated on screen is absolutely reflective of how they’re treated in real life. Men get away with so much, because they’re funny, or charming, or because they don’t “seem like the type”.
I’d really recommend the show Kevin can fuck himself to anyone who’s read this far. It examines the way misogyny and emotional abuse of women is normalized and overlooked in real life through the lense of how it’s normalized and overlooked in sitcoms. After you watch that show your eyes will be open WIDE lmao.
Overall: It’s not my goal here to try and ruin anyone's fun, or tell them what to ship or whatever. Like, I know I’m probably gonna get people being like “let people enjoy things!” and like, go ahead, I’m not stopping you. I’m not an authority here. You can still love this couple, you can still love Laszlo, you can do whatever you want forever I don’t give a fuck. I personally want Nadja to leave Laszlo for a woman who will actually be emotionally available to her and eat her out like the queen she is, but to each their own. Because ultimately, they aren’t real, but the issues that they reflect definitely are.
I’m sorry but as a lesbian like 95% of the m/f pairings you people will call “girlboss x malewife” “yuri coded” “they’re actually lesbians they’re butch/femme” “she pegs him” etc etc etc just look like this to me
discoholicmusic
titsay
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
