Greasemonkaaaay

College Kid, Gamer, Programmer. Geek Squad Agent, FFXIVer and some other stuff. Characters:                                             Nahue Tanner, J'lahono Bhazi (Balmung) I like video games, final fantasy, artist stuff and other things so that's what you'll see. 3DS: 3007-8644-3727 (Message me yours so I can add you as well!)

[hazelrae-deactivated20230925]

Alright it’s way past time to do the thing! 

Here are the rules:

Must be following me! This is a giveaway for followers. Please do not follow if you are going to unfollow after the contest has ended, that’s rude >8[

Only reblogs count! As much as any artist likes a ♥, reblogs help promote us! Supporting artists makes us pretty gosh darned happy.

You may reblog as many times as you like, but don’t annoy your followers either.

NO Giveaway Blogs!

Simple enough, yes?

There will be:

One 1st Place Winner - Waist up Full Color 

Two 2nd Place Winners - Full Body or Waist Up Sketch

Three 3rd Place Winners - Portrait Sketch

That’s six winners total (for 600 followers)! Winners will be selected using a random entry generator on Saturday, May 9th. I’d give you all a time but my sleep schedule is never predictable. Thank you all so very very much for supporting me and my art. It means the world to me. Good luck! ♥

[randyliedtke]

Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.

[stillhereunfortunately]

but why

[xbox420-deactivated20141118]

is this the softcore version of fuck the police

[ladycels]

If you would like to see more, please check out my facebook at  https://www.facebook.com/LadyCels 

You can view the full sized tutorial HERE .

[dbs-archive]

Coincidentally, you reblogged this at the perfect time. Thanks!

[rneerkat-deactivated20130117]

what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises

[rneerkat-deactivated20130117]

it becomes daytrogen

[yolotwinkie]

I’m going to bed.

[rneerkat-deactivated20130117]

good nitrogen

[faggot-about-it]

sleep tightrogen

[accentuateawesome-deactivated20]

don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

[corruptionpoints]

D&D Stats Explained with Tomatoes

mindchildofmadness submits:

Strength is being able to crush a tomato.

Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.

Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.

Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.

Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.

(Source)

[mehyewll-blog]

[twistedviper]

If I stop reblogging this assume I’m dead

[optimysticals]

Every time I see this I get tears down my face from laughing.

[moshita-deactivated20180620]

[reginaeinferos]

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

This literally

astounds.

[forest-of-grace]

this whole thread us fucking gold i’ll tell ya what

[angrylittleboy-deactivated20181]

Lost it at “Diagrams were required”.

[niyashy]

On the one hand: funny!

On the other hand: ouch…

[umisatome-blog]

These are all things I have had to do at one point or another. orz

[archive2rynakonanashi-deactivat]

The highlights of our era. Ladies and gentlemen, we are royally fucked.

[nahuexiv]

CT2 Monk Chest. I kinda regret rolling on them.

Dem shoulders...

[cakehoarder]

ARE YOU READY FOR ONE HECK OF A GIVE AWAY!? I will be giving away a total of SIXTY MYSTERY BAGS and 16 MILLION BELLS WOOOWOW!!!

All you gotta do to enter this bad boy of a give away is LIKE and REBLOG, BABY.

BORING RULES - I love you all - I will pull the winners on JULY 15TH - No more rules

Prize Distribution 1st - 30 mystery bags! - 10 million stinkin bells!

2nd - 20 mystery bags! - 5 million stinkin bells!

3rd - 10 mystery bags! - 1 million bells!

ANYTHING COULD BE IN THESE FREAKING BAGS. UNORDERABLES, SPOTPASS ITEMS, SOCKS.

I love all of you.

[mander-monster]

My abilities to get bells sucks, so why not enter.

[doctorwhogifs]

[moonfallplays-deactivated202501]

#how long have we been holding on to this one?

[talionislex-deactivated20131217]

[valkyriecain]

frenums: 

skeleton smartypants was defeated once and for all

[coloneldonut]

THE REACTION FACES JUST MAKE THIS 84927 TIMES FUNNIER

[opheliarosaline-deactivated2019]

This is my kind of humor

[apc-art]

SO I AM AT ANIME EXPO

and i got these free codes I will be giving them away on my tumbr

like and reblog only only please

this contest ends

July 5th

get reblogging

no need to follow winner will be chosen at random. enjoy!

[paradymeshift]

Kinda want the Pantheon skin for a friend.

[moonlit-endeavors]

I will take them all

[zenoxio]

The life of a Taru in FFXI.

[balmungroleplayers1111]

Hey everyone! I think it’s about ready to be officially open. So I’ll get straight to business!

On the lefthand side there is a + symbol, in the dropdown there are links to a tags page, an ask page, and a submit page. To submit your event, please click “Submit” and be sure to include the …

[jackwynandmoved-deactivated2017]

*finishes a game* haha what the fuck *reads the wiki for 12 hours*

[lilirulu]

[hazelrae-deactivated20230925]

omg

[aztechnology]

steam sales when ur trying to save money

[davidragifs]

[jehanisnotdead-deactivated20130]

I CANT