Calling it now, Javadi’s going to do her residency in psychology.
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@namep3nding
Calling it now, Javadi’s going to do her residency in psychology.
So, in Robby, we’ve got a character whose main plot point for two seasons now has been that he is not coping nearly as well as he wants everybody think he is. That he’s in a very dark place mentally, and desperately doesn’t want anybody to look closely enough to realise just how bad things are, who desperately wants to fix it himself so he doesn’t have to let anybody else see the damage that he is deeply ashamed of having in the first place.
In the past 6 years, he:
Has worked on the frontlines in the ED throughout the pandemic, and has had multiple PTSD flashbacks that we’ve seen from the trauma that that alone has caused him.Â
Had to make the call on turning off the life support of his mentor/father figure (canon btw, not conjecture)
Then had to be the one to physically turn off the machines that were keeping said mentor/father figure breathing.Â
Then had to watch the aforementioned mentor/father figure die in front of him as a direct result of the decision he was forced to makeÂ
Then, instead of taking time to grieve this massive personal loss, he instead had to step into the shoes of that very same mentor/father figure, in the middle of a pandemic, and take on an incredibly stressful job and huge amount of responsibility at the drop of a hat in incredibly traumatic circumstances (a position that he’s repeatedly told by the people in charge he is doing a poor job at in comparison to his predecessor, who he greatly admired, saw as a father figure, and watched die because he had to make the decision to take him off the ventilator, not because he was gone already, but because they needed the equipment).Â
Putting this out there, because I’ve seen it so much this season and it’s really starting to grate - people aren’t owed forgiveness. Even when they’re trying. Even when they’ve put in the work. Even when they’re sorry from the depths of their very being. The people who were affected by a person’s behaviour are not obligated to forgive them for it.
In this instance, the behaviour being Frank Langdon stealing medication from the hospital - resulting in his publicly verbally abusing then attempting to destroy the career of an intern on her first day to cover said theft/addiction (trying to trash their reputation and credibility with the chief of the department very much is trying to damage her career, even if that wasn't the main goal), and then lashing out at and trying to use his boss’ (and friend’s) ongoing mental health struggles and very recent breakdown as blackmail material in a further attempt to try and save the situation.
Was he in a incredibly terrifying, fight or flight state of being at the time/s. Yes. Absolutely. Does this all make him a terrible person who doesn’t deserve to ever be forgiven. No, absolutely no. But did he still hurt people? Yes, he did.
There have been a lot of talk about (Robby more than Santos admittedly (we’ve not seen too much Langdon and Santos interactions yet, though that’s sure to change soon and sure hasn’t stopped some people)) how withholding forgiveness, being standoff-ish, holding a grudge, still being pissed about the whole situation, even though Langdon’s put the work in and is doing better, is cruel, and/or being done maliciously as some sort of personal punishment. That certain people just need to ‘get over it’. It’s very much giving the same vibe as ‘I know I did something horrible, but I said I’m sorry and you’re still upset - so honestly you’re the problem now’.Â
Sorry, no. People are allowed to take time to process. Hell, you know what, they’re allowed to stay pissed on principle for as long as it takes for them to work through it.
You. Are. Not. Owed. Forgiveness. And the person who caused the hurt sure as hell doesn’t get to dictate the timeline for that from the people they hurt. Nor do people who were not affected by it (Al Hashimi: ‘what's it going to take for you to get some empathy back?’ (I could be wrong, but I’m betting that’s referring to Langdon vs. Robby (I’ll put my hands up if I’m wrong though)), or have managed to move on just fine (Dana with her ‘he’s put the work in’ chat last episode).Â
Would it be nice to just get it out in the open and move on. Of course. That’s almost certainly what will happen by the end of the series (or, at least, things will probably start turning in that direction). But people can’t just switch off being hurt. Any forgiveness given until that process has occurred would be false (which, arguably, actually would be crueller).
Yes, it’s sad seeing that he seems to have very much hoped and expected to come back and be able to pick up where he left off, both professionally and personally, and was blindside by the fact that that’s not the case. It’s also not on Robby or Santos (or anybody else) that that’s not been the case.Â
tl;dr - you can’t force forgiveness. It’s not even lunchtime yet, ffs.Â
Also, in the case of Robby’s reaction to all of this, there’s a lot to be said that isn’t being said about his being this pissed off still really hammering home how much he cared about their relationship up to that point (the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference - and dude is not indifferent no matter how hard he’s trying to be). But that’s a whole other discussion.Â