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[namep3nding]

Calling it now, Javadi’s going to do her residency in psychology.

[namep3nding]

So, in Robby, we’ve got a character whose main plot point for two seasons now has been that he is not coping nearly as well as he wants everybody think he is. That he’s in a very dark place mentally, and desperately doesn’t want anybody to look closely enough to realise just how bad things are, who desperately wants to fix it himself so he doesn’t have to let anybody else see the damage that he is deeply ashamed of having in the first place.

In the past 6 years, he:

Has worked on the frontlines in the ED throughout the pandemic, and has had multiple PTSD flashbacks that we’ve seen from the trauma that that alone has caused him. 

Had to make the call on turning off the life support of his mentor/father figure (canon btw, not conjecture)

Then had to be the one to physically turn off the machines that were keeping said mentor/father figure breathing. 

Then had to watch the aforementioned mentor/father figure die in front of him as a direct result of the decision he was forced to make 

Then, instead of taking time to grieve this massive personal loss, he instead had to step into the shoes of that very same mentor/father figure, in the middle of a pandemic, and take on an incredibly stressful job and huge amount of responsibility at the drop of a hat in incredibly traumatic circumstances (a position that he’s repeatedly told by the people in charge he is doing a poor job at in comparison to his predecessor, who he greatly admired, saw as a father figure, and watched die because he had to make the decision to take him off the ventilator, not because he was gone already, but because they needed the equipment). 

Has, for the past 6 years, compounded this trauma by returning to the place it happened day in, day out, to carry on working an already immensely emotionally taxing job (even under the best circumstances). 

Then, on the first anniversary of Adamson’s death that he’s attempted to work through, he got whacked over the head (along with everyone else) with the absolute shocker of a day that was season one, some of the highlights being: 

Every single fucking patient death that happened that day, that he stored away in his little mental mausoleum along with who the hell knows how many other patient deaths he’s held on to over his career

Finding out Collins had been pregnant with his child, but the timing just wasn’t right. 

His step-son being caught in the middle of a mass shooting (at an event that he had bought the tickets for and was supposed to be at with him)

His relationship with said step-son being damaged, potentially beyond repair, because he couldn’t conjure up a miracle and save Leah 

Having his faith and trust in Langdon, his protege, shattered due to the drug stealing/hidden addiction (along with his faith in himself for having missed it completely). 

Culminating in him stand on the edge of the roof, seriously considering stepping off of it (at his own hospital, when his own friends/team (that he clearly cares about) were working and would have had to work on him if he had. Seriously, can we just take a moment to comprehend how desperate and hopeless he must have been feeling in that moment for that to seem like the answer)

In the ensuing 10 months, he has now attempted therapy but, whether because he wasn’t ready for it yet or because they genuinely weren’t good fits (or a combination of the two), hasn’t gotten anything out of it beyond confirmation that it can’t help him. 

If we’re taking Noelle’s gossip at face value, is so uncomfortable with his own thoughts and company that he has to have the TV playing in the background in order to relax enough to sleep. 

Is exhibiting risk-taking behaviours and is currently, at best, passively suicidal, if not actively taking steps in preparation for an actual suicide attempt (yet to be determined). 

Is being pursued by the aforementioned protege who is hoping for a reconciliation that he is not in a place to take part in right now (after he’d made plans to try to avoid said encounter, because he knew he was not in a place to be dealing with that right now), but due to circumstances, Langdon’s persistence, and the interference of outside parties, he keeps having that situation forced on him. 

Not to even mention the stress of handing over the reins of the department to somebody he doesn’t know or trust yet, who is very eager to make big changes while he’s away and can’t do anything about it, so if he comes back - he doesn’t know what he’ll be coming back to; he’s potentially realising that he’s being pushed out of the job that’s killing him but is also his entire life/all he's got left, his last tie to Adamson, and something he did love once (if you subscribe to that interpretation of the admin-influence storyline); whatever the hell is going on with Duke’s appointment and why he’s not returning his calls; the incoming cyber-attack/Digital freeze; getting publicly side-lined by the CEO of the hospital; and whatever the hell else is about to go down in the, I’m sure, really rather chill next eight hours of his shift

Knowing that all of that has gone on, all of that crap is bubbling away unchecked under the surface (and that’s just the stuff we know about so far), is it any wonder at all that he’s a bit prickish, petty, fed up, defensive, burnt-the-fuck-out and lacking the emotional bandwidth to give the sort of grace someone in a better headspace might be able to? Not even all the time either! He’s still trying to be encouraging to the residents/med-students, still gets on fine with the team, still trying to do his job the best he can. But yeah, his temper is shorter, because he is at the absolute end of his rope (even then, the outbursts in question are about the level of a teacher/manager who’s having a particularly shit day and is just not putting up with anybody’s crap today).

Should he get help - hell yeah! Does it suck that others are copping it a bit because he's in such a bad place himself - yep. Would it be nice if he was a perfect victim and never lashed out, never got short with people, managed to maintain perfect patience and grace for everybody around him no matter what - your milage may vary there, but what doesn't is the fact that that wouldn't be realistic in the slightest.

Unfortunately, the maxim 'hurt people, hurt people' does ring true - and the whole reason that 'admitting that there's a problem' is such a huge step is because the denial and desperate hope that if you just ignore or refuse to put a name the problem for long enough, it'll sort itself out and won't actually be as bad as you know it actually is is so incredibly difficult to work your way through. You can't just click your fingers in the middle of all that and go 'right, time to put in the work and fix this' if you're not yet at the point to start putting in the work and fixing things.

I’m just so tired 😅 Empathy is not a finite resource. You can 100% feel for, or at least understand, multiple characters at the same time. You don’t need to tear other characters down and make them cartoon villains so you feel all the more justified in backing your fave (or to make your fave more sympathetic - they already are! Every character in this show is flawed, but every single one of them are still fundamentally good people who are trying their absolute best to do good in the world). 

Coming out with stuff like:

Everyone in the Pitt should get a pass to punch Robby in the face tbh 😋

‘Manifesting Robby getting run over by a semi’ 

Do a flip!! 

It’s actually really awful. We have such empathetic people in this fandom, it’s been so incredibly disheartening to see that get tossed out the window these past few months (I hope by a loud few, but it’s honestly hard to tell at times). 

[namep3nding]

Putting this out there, because I’ve seen it so much this season and it’s really starting to grate - people aren’t owed forgiveness. Even when they’re trying. Even when they’ve put in the work. Even when they’re sorry from the depths of their very being. The people who were affected by a person’s behaviour are not obligated to forgive them for it.

In this instance, the behaviour being Frank Langdon stealing medication from the hospital - resulting in his publicly verbally abusing then attempting to destroy the career of an intern on her first day to cover said theft/addiction (trying to trash their reputation and credibility with the chief of the department very much is trying to damage her career, even if that wasn't the main goal), and then lashing out at and trying to use his boss’ (and friend’s) ongoing mental health struggles and very recent breakdown as blackmail material in a further attempt to try and save the situation.

Was he in a incredibly terrifying, fight or flight state of being at the time/s. Yes. Absolutely. Does this all make him a terrible person who doesn’t deserve to ever be forgiven. No, absolutely no. But did he still hurt people? Yes, he did.

There have been a lot of talk about (Robby more than Santos admittedly (we’ve not seen too much Langdon and Santos interactions yet, though that’s sure to change soon and sure hasn’t stopped some people)) how withholding forgiveness, being standoff-ish, holding a grudge, still being pissed about the whole situation, even though Langdon’s put the work in and is doing better, is cruel, and/or being done maliciously as some sort of personal punishment. That certain people just need to ‘get over it’. It’s very much giving the same vibe as ‘I know I did something horrible, but I said I’m sorry and you’re still upset - so honestly you’re the problem now’. 

Sorry, no. People are allowed to take time to process. Hell, you know what, they’re allowed to stay pissed on principle for as long as it takes for them to work through it.

You. Are. Not. Owed. Forgiveness. And the person who caused the hurt sure as hell doesn’t get to dictate the timeline for that from the people they hurt. Nor do people who were not affected by it (Al Hashimi: ‘what's it going to take for you to get some empathy back?’ (I could be wrong, but I’m betting that’s referring to Langdon vs. Robby (I’ll put my hands up if I’m wrong though)), or have managed to move on just fine (Dana with her ‘he’s put the work in’ chat last episode). 

Would it be nice to just get it out in the open and move on. Of course. That’s almost certainly what will happen by the end of the series (or, at least, things will probably start turning in that direction). But people can’t just switch off being hurt. Any forgiveness given until that process has occurred would be false (which, arguably, actually would be crueller).

Yes, it’s sad seeing that he seems to have very much hoped and expected to come back and be able to pick up where he left off, both professionally and personally, and was blindside by the fact that that’s not the case. It’s also not on Robby or Santos (or anybody else) that that’s not been the case. 

tl;dr - you can’t force forgiveness. It’s not even lunchtime yet, ffs. 

Also, in the case of Robby’s reaction to all of this, there’s a lot to be said that isn’t being said about his being this pissed off still really hammering home how much he cared about their relationship up to that point (the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference - and dude is not indifferent no matter how hard he’s trying to be). But that’s a whole other discussion.