Naopan.

"two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they're not gay!"

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9.99$

9.99$, directed by Tatia Rosenthal, writing and screenplay by, Tatia Rosenthal and Etgar Keret, music by Christopher Bowen, and voiced by Geoffery Rush, Joel Edgerton, Anthony LaPaglia, Ben Mendelsohn, Samuel Johnson, Claudia Karavan, Barry Otto, Leeanna Walsman.

*I do not own this... Movie? Yeah this movie is owned by Lama films and Tatia Rosenthal

A very synopsized (that's not a word I think but shut up) synopsis: This 2008 claymation movie is a look into the differentiating and unique lives of a chosen few residents at an apartment building in Sydney Australia who all, look for their purposes and their idea of the meaning of life, with a depressed angel from heaven setting all of their lives in motion.

Review: This movie was... Nice. A very boring description, but you know. When going into this movie, I was thinking that I would be questioning the meaning of life and I would be in the deep hole of an existential crisis. But when I took the disc out, I felt... Good? I really think that this film is just a nice look into other people’s lives along with some strange little quirks sprinkled throughout. The claymation is not the best, with the faces sometimes looking more like a Picasso painting than a real face, but with is the very small budget of 3.5 million, I’ll forgive it. So! I recommend this movie to a person in the mood to peek into other people’s lives and see how their stories turn out. I wouldn’t this to someone under 14 due to the language, nudity, and light sexual content, despite the fact I can now say I have seen a claymation penis. Let us rate this 7 catalogs outta 10. Okay, follow me on da Insta at naopan_ride. goodbyeee nobody.

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The Storied Life of A.J Fikry

The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin.

*I do not own this okay book, it is owned by Gabrielle Zevin, Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, and Workman Publishing.

Review I wrote that kind of sucks: This book is truly about “The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry”. A.J. Fikry is a stubborn, slightly alcoholic widower who owns a small bookstore on a little island off of Massachusetts. After his wife died in a car crash, he only has his store, his numerous book preferences, his nine-minute microwave meals, and his rare and valuable memoir from Edgar Allan Poe: Tamerlane. When the treasured is mysteriously stolen, it doesn’t help A.J. feel much better. He meets a new, friendly, book representative by the name of Amelia, and he discovers a two-year-old little girl abandoned in his bookstore with only a note from her mother, who then committed suicide, asking for A.J. to care for Maya (the child) and to let her grow up around books. These two people will quickly change his ways and will make his life much more storied.

Review bois: Eh. I know this book is rated very highly, but I just don’t get it. It was alright, what can I say? Let us begin with the story/plot. It was okay. This book follows our protagonist, A.J., who when you read the first few chapters, you absolutely despise him. Though he does get better over time. The other characters are alright. Pretty realistic in general. It didn’t take too long to read, and the writing was alright. I do wish the writing was perhaps a bit more detailed. I really don’t know what to say here. I didn’t think it was bad, its just not that great either. I guess I’l give this 5/10 books.

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Here I guess.

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Mary and Max

Mary and Max: Directed and written by Adam Elliot, narrated by Barry Humphries, voiced by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Toni Collette, Eric Banna, & Bethany Whitmore.

* I do not own this fantastic movie, “Mary and Max” is owned by Melodrama Pictures & Gaumont.

Synopsis I stole from Google because I simply cannot put this film into a worthy synopsis: Spanning twenty years and two continents, Mary and Max recounts the pen-pal relationship between two very different people: Mary Dinkle, a chubby, lonely eight-year-old living in the suburbs of Melbourne, Australia; and Max Horovitz, a severely obese, 44-year-old man with Asperger’s Syndrome living in the chaos of New York City.

Review thingy: This movie received 1.7 million at the box office. The Emoji movie made 217.8 million. Fuck this world. Mary and Max is a movie that truly feels like it happened. Which would make sense since it was loosely based on a true story. You can tell this claymation narrated film was made very passionately. It has a feeling of great emotion and care throughout. The story is phenomenal, and you grow to truly resonate and relate to the characters. It has quirky humor weaving through the movie, and the characters, though all strange and with their own faults, they are realistic and you could easily imagine finding one of them in the real world. The artistic approach is very different and it definitely breaks the mold of what to do and not to do with claymation and I hope and believe that this film will influence its genre and its art form. It raises awareness and understanding of Asperger’s Syndrome, the symptoms, and how beings who have been diagnosed with this predicament come to cope with it. This movie has touched me deeply, and it will not be forgotten by me anytime soon. I highly recommend this drama/indie film. The art style might not be for everyone, and I’d say not to watch it if you aren’t under fourteen, unless you believe you are very mature. This wonderful movie can have 10/10 chocolates.

Okay, now to write my review of the movie, “Call Me By Your Name” that no one will read kay bye-bye!

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Keeping You a Secret

Keeping You a Secret by Julie Anne Peters

*Wowie I don’t own this really gay book even though I have high levels of gay. This book is owned by Julie Anne Peters 

A brief synopsis that I’m bad at writing: Holland is a grade A child. She is the senior student body president, she has a wonderful longtime boyfriend, Seth, and her mother is trying her damnedest to get Holland into the best college possible. But when a new girl by the name of Cece transfers to Holland’s high school with hopes of starting a Lesbigay club, Holland begins to realize perhaps she may have feelings for a person nobody would think she ever would; Cece Goddard; a girl. She must find who she is, and if she is willing to lose everything for the girl she loves.

Review thing because I’m pretending to be that one dude from Ratatouille: Okay this book was a pretty cookie cutter young adult romance, except for the themes of lesbianism. I thought the main character was... alright? She didn’t seem to be THAT interesting of a character, to be honest. Cece was a pretty good character. Nothing major, but pretty nice. This book was a shorter read than it seems. I probably read it in about four hours. I’m gonna put it out there that I haven’t ever read an LGBT+ book before so this was a first for me. I’m also just going to say I’m a weird mix of pansexual/asexual. I’m just kinda chill with everybody? Anyways back to da review. I did quite enjoy that it wasn’t a completely perfect ending. There were ties that concluded that weren’t happy endings. 

So in conclusion, I’d say that if you wanted to read a non-explicit young adult LGBT+ romance book, then this is the perfect book for you. If you are wanting to read this just as a romance book, I’d say sure, but don’t expect anything extraordinary. Let's give this one six rainbow flags outta ten. **Revision: the more I think about this book, the less I like it. So I’m going to lower it down to 4/10 rainbow flags. Okay, follow me here cause I’m lonely: naopan_ride on Instagram. Next up will be... I have no idea but you know.

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Girl in the Blue Coat

Girl in the Blue Coat by Monica Hesse

Genre & setting: Historical fiction, 1943 (WW2) in Holland.

*weirdly enough I don’t own “Girl in the Blue Coat”. This is just a crappy review of it. All credits go to Monica Hesse and Hachette Book Group, Inc.

Okay here’s a basic synopsis that I didn't copy straight from the back of the book surprisingly lol: An eighteen-year-old girl by the name of Henneke, is a trader who exchanges luxury items, like cigarettes and food, through the black market to the people of Amsterdam through the rations of the dead. She is a hard-working girl, keeping her secret black market business running, ensuring that her family will always have good food on the table, and on top of it all, she also grieves for her lost lover, Bas, who died when the Germans first invaded Holland. 

One day on her usual trek of deliveries, one of her clients, Mrs. Janssen, begs Hanneke to help her find a young Jewish girl that she had been harboring from the German soldier's capture who had disappeared out of the blue. Hanneke agrees to assist, cautiously. On her journey to find this young girl with the blue coat, she goes through many trials and errors and Hanneke has very eye-opening experiences she never would have gotten otherwise.

My review cause I dunno maybe someone will care: Okay I really enjoyed this book. It wasn't necessarily a long read, about four to five hours, I’d say. The writing is just about what I like. The setting definitely is lovely. The story is very intriguing, though I did predict how most of it would play out pretty early. But that's alright. I am still very satisfied with this novel. The characters are well written, and there is a good difference between all of them. My favorite characters were Ollie & Mrs. de Vries. I highly recommend anyone who is into mystery/missing person young adult books. Overall, I’m going to give this book a good seven and a half out of ten blue coats. lkgnrgeigwrgorgbp. Next up should be Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. Or maybe The Metamorphosis. I dunno kay Naopan out.

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Hallo.

My name is Rose. I don’t know why I have Tumblr, but apparently, I do. I don’t know if I’m ever going to write on this godforsaken social media, but in case I do, here’s a run-down of what I’ma do here.

So! I hope to do book/movie/tv show reviews. I’m currently plowing through this book called “The Night Garden” (The setting is lovely, but the plot is awful so far) so hopefully, at some point, I will actually have some sort of review/synopsis of it.

Secondly, I probably am lying to myself and I’m only going to ramble on about Doctor Who and Harry Potter on here. Just putting that out there.

And third, I’ll probably rant and spew out long monologues about life. You know, because Tumblr needs yET ANOTHER existential gothic kid who uses a social media platform as their personal diary.

Yeah. Okay. I don’t know how to how to end this so here’s a sneaky self-promo: fOlLoW mE On inStAgrAm @naopan_ride. Kay bye.