Monterey Bay Aquarium
JVL
Today's Document
DEAR READER
shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz
sheepfilms
titsay
Love Begins
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Janaina Medeiros
Cosmic Funnies
almost home
Cosimo Galluzzi
#extradirty
Jules of Nature
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
will byers stan first human second
RMH
Show & Tell
seen from Belgium
seen from Malaysia
seen from Mexico
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Switzerland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@napsandpabst
oh shit
i’m so sorry to completely drop off the face of the planet without any warning or explanation - i didnt think anyone on here actually kept tabs or cared about me / my well-being .
I’m not dead! I am doing better than I ever have been before. This apology is so delayed but I really am sorry to everyone that was concerned
okay seriously no more embarrassing myself, no more posting online
im afraid of when my only friend tells me she thought i was going to die last year and that she wishes that i did die "to put me out of my misery:
all of my thoughts are becomimg more and more ridiculous, all of my nightmares are becoming more and more frequent / specific. i need to delete statcounter and everyother stupid social media. i need a therapist im losing my fucking mind and its the most (consistently) humiliating thing that's ever happened to me. i know why my brother ran away and lived under bridges on heroin now. i know why my grandma was addicted to tranquilizers. i know why people isolate themselves and disappear off the face of the planet. its the constant humiliation. its the flood of emotions and thoughts that you have never felt so passionately about before, and have never been so decidedly "right" about, only to realize later that you couldnt have been more wrong. it's the false epiphanies. it's the moments of clarity when you can truly see yourself in the right light, the humiliating sight, the moments of clarity that are becoming increasingly smaller with every fucking passing day. it's how with every person you "connect" with, its more and more apparent it'll never compare to the real love that you had. it's how with every person that moves on, its more and more apparent something's just wrong with you, and your head. it's how you couldn't even handle love and thats why you ran away, but you cant handle the stupid shitty drunk hookups either. It's how no matter what you change in your life, you know you'll never find happiness. You'll never feel okay. You'll always get these weird fucking fevers that no one else can relate to. You're sick. Youre sick youre sick youre sick. To be so sick is humiliating. I need to run away or die. Im afraid to open my mouth anymore. Im afraid of the shaking and the shadows. Im afraid of how convinced I can be that Im okay, and how quickly that can change again. Im afraid to talk to strangers Im afraid to get close to anyone new. Im afraid of what next delusion I'll fall into. Im afraid of when I'll stop having the moments of clarity that reveal to me how fucking ridiculous and disgusting I am. Im afraid of the days where I am too afraid. to leave my car, or to fall asleep. Im afraid when my only friend constsntly tells me that "iM never going to get better. that im scary. that im never going to find love again. that im fucked for life" Im so fucking tired of this. all of this. im sorry
why the fuck cant i go home aai havent been home in 3 fucking days i just pqnic and cry and stay in my car or to someone elses house WHY THENFUCK CANT I GO HOME
jesus christ i always pick the ones that are fucking insane. this kid kept saying he was going to drive 3 hours and come back on monday even though i repeatedly told him no. i've literally never met anyone this persistant. it's honestly kind of freaking me out. if i go missing it's because i was murdered lol rip me
he said my ass was the best one he’s seen though.. good to know im still able to elicit that response lol
losing grip on my groundings, i just continue to slip
he called me “progressive” in bed/ what the fuck does that mean
went on a streak of not hardly sleeping for 3 days and then i hooked up with a stranger who drove 3 hours to see me. wrote some pretty good songs tho
my fucking FAMILY for fucks sake
i cant be around my family for longer than an hour without my heart to start pounding, feeling as though im going to pass out, and being unable to breathe happy thanksgiving i love holidays
My wall of flowers.
If my take off fails, make up some other story If I never come back, tell my mother I’m sorry.
You can love someone too much. If someone possessed every ounce of the power it took to kill you, wouldn’t you rather take it back into your own hands?
In my experience, and how I was raised, To be in love, is to be afraid.
different causes of the pain it all hurts the same had enough to drive me insane it all hurts the same
i’d rather the fresh purple skin than the yellow of your absence i know it’s healthier to begin again but its really been a while since..
different causes of the pain it all hurts the same had enough to drive me insane it all hurts the same
I’ve been sleeping comfortably lately I guess that means youre moving on last words were that you fucking hate me But I thought maybe you had it wrong
It’s paranormal. An intangible connection, Strong enough to cut through caution tape Still there to haunt you in your reflection And it’s snapped. It’s broken off, separated. I’m not exactly dead, but I feel sedated.
