ABBOTT ELEMENTARY 4.16 Books
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@nasty-bog-boy
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY 4.16 Books
Iron Islander voice: Theon you [19 syllable dolphin noise slur] I see you came back WOKE and GAY and a WOMAN from us leaving you as a child prisoner to the guy with an 8 foot sword that makes you drag it around to executions in front of his screaming faced tree gods as a daily reminder that he can and will kill you (a child) just like he killed the rest of your family (some of which were also children). Did you have fun polishing his sword? I’ll bet. Did you write this letter yourself? Knowing there’s a one person literacy limit? Should we call you Theon the Reader, you reading fuck? And standing here in a jean jacket you bought yourself, may as well be sucking dick at old navy. You know who’s NOT woke or gay or a woman? Your sister Asha. Why can’t you be less gay and woke and a woman, like Asha? I bet she could run a democratic election because you know what isn’t gay Theon? Democracy
Man watching Cooper and Audrey scenes in Twin Peaks is like a wild ride bc every time she enters Cooper is just like
rewatching bbc merlin for the first time in years is so funny because it is actually like that. like its not an exaggeration- merlin and arthur are literally Like That. theres no subtext baby its all text he wants that warlock so bad. also so are all the other knights of the round table. theyre all obsessed with merlin
watching the episodes with the dorocha and theyre all so in love with that little scrawny boy and they dont even all know about his magic. they just want him anyway. this show is literally just merlin and his boyfriends. all of them
[edit: putting this here because it got lost in the reblogs]
This is so funny but too niché to send it to anyone 😭
I know I mentioned several times how Dolokhov is the only one to notice Sonya (and even this perception is clouded and fucked up because of worms in his head) but what really stings is the fact there's literally no one else to reach out to Sonya in any meaningful way: countess Natalya consistently sees her as a threat to her precious Koko's future career and her fear is eventually turned into hatred, count Ilya doesn't have a spine to make any meaningful decision about his family, Marya D. doesn't even bother to hide the fact she barely tolerates her, Pierre and Andrei don't give much thought about her beyond the Rostovs, Natasha reproaches her for being "too moral" and later comes up with a dehumanising excuse to soothe herself and Marya B, and even Nikolai who in the end sees "everything people are valued for but little they are loved for" in Sonya does not give a single fuck about her beyond maybe the feeling of guilt.
Oh the irony of the cruel person showing at least some kind of emotional involvement for Sonya while the supposed good natured people grow more and more indifferent towards her.
diane, you'll never believe this but there was a fish in the percolator
In America, you don't have to live like your parents lived.
anyone else screaming crying throwing up over them
Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’
Sister Michael could have handled the yellowjackets but coach Ben could not handle the Derry Girls
Coach Ben couldn't handle the yellowjackets either
Some of my favorite underappreciated/often unmentioned canon things in Persuasion:
Lady Russell starts to love Captain Wentworth like her own son: “[She] found little hardship in attaching herself as a mother to the man who was securing the happiness of her other child.”
By the end of the novel, Anne and Captain Harville have grown so close that they see each other as brother and sister, implying that Harville has started to move past the death of Fanny Harville too
When Louisa told Wentworth that Anne turned down Charles Musgrove’s marriage proposal, it turns out he subconsciously wondered/hoped that she did it for him: “It was possible that you [Anne] might retain the feelings of the past, as I [Wentworth] did; and one encouragement happened to be mine. I could never doubt that you would be loved and sought by others, but I knew to a certainty that you had refused one man at least, of better pretensions than myself; and I could not help often saying, ‘Was this for me?’”
When Anne and Wentworth sneak off at the end to talk to each other, it’s with the excuse of “each apparently occupied in admiring a fine display of green-house plants”
After Wentworth rescues Anne from the toddler and starts playing with him, Charles Hayter gets salty because he feels bad about sitting on his ass: “[Anne] had a strong impression of [Charles Hayter] having said, in a vext tone of voice, after Captain Wentworth’s interference, ‘You ought to have minded me, Walter; I told you not to teaze your aunt;’ and could comprehend his regretting that Captain Wentworth should do what he ought to have done himself.”
On that note - right before that scene, Wentworth tries to make distantly polite small talk with Anne and she doesn’t reply lmao: “He continued at the window; and after calmly and politely saying, ‘I hope the little boy is better,’ was silent. She was obliged to kneel down by the sofa, and remain there to satisfy her patient.”
Sophia Croft holds grudges on behalf of her loved ones: “If you look across the street, you will see Admiral Brand coming down and his brother. Shabby fellows, both of them! I [Admiral Croft] am glad they are not on this side of the way. Sophy cannot bear them. They played me a pitiful trick once.”
Back when he was the curate of Monkford, Edward Wentworth managed to reach “an amicable compromise” with a robber who was stealing apples from his orchard instead of attempting to enforce any legal consequences
Anne decides that even though the Musgrove sisters are young, lively, and very close (whereas Anne has strained relationships with Mary and Elizabeth), she doesn’t envy them because she’s more intelligent
Captain Benwick and Charles Mugrove went rat-hunting in the Musgroves’ barn together and became total bros
At the end of the book Charles Musgrove basically says screw the upper classes (“Don’t talk to me about heirs and representatives,” cried Charles. “I am not one of those who neglect the reigning power to bow to the rising sun. If I would not go for the sake of your father, I should think it scandalous to go for the sake of his heir. What is Mr. Elliot to me?”)
Wentworth then immediately turns to Anne like that L looking at Light meme to see if she agrees: “The careless expression was life to Anne, who saw that Captain Wentworth was all attention, looking and listening with his whole soul; and that the last words brought his enquiring eyes from Charles to herself.”
Mr. Elliot indirectly proposes to Anne but she ignores him because she’s too busy listening to her father call Wentworth hot: “Such she believed were his words; but scarcely had she received their sound, than her attention was caught by other sounds immediately behind her, which rendered every thing else trivial. Her father and Lady Dalrymple were speaking. ‘A well-looking man,’ said Sir Walter, ‘a very well-looking man.’ ‘A very fine young man indeed!’ said Lady Dalrymple. 'More air than one often sees in Bath.’”
Wentworth brought an extra umbrella to Bath because he came to town explicitly hoping to take a romantic walk in the rain with Anne
Both Anne and Wentworth are well-spoken and can talk gently and reassuringly when another person is upset: When Mrs. Musgrove was sad about her son: “[Wentworth] was perfectly collected and serious; and almost instantly afterwards… entered into conversation with her, in a low voice, about her son, doing it with so much sympathy and natural grace, as shewed the kindest consideration for all that was real and unabsurd in the parent’s feelings” When Wentworth was sad at the concert: “Anne replied, and spoke in defense of the performance so well, and yet in allowance for his feelings, so pleasantly, that his countenance improved, and he replied again with almost a smile. They talked for a few minutes more; the improvement held; he even looked down towards the bench, as if he saw a place on it well worth occupying;”
The reasons why Sir Walter approves of Anne’s marriage are not only that Wentworth is hot and rich, but also because he has a “well-sounding name”
Hole
She Dan on my Phil till I Games
Good thing I don’t have kids because I secretly still think Thumbelina is a beautiful name