I got what is basically a participation ribbon from the meet director today, despite bombing out. It was actually a third place ribbon from a previous meet he hosted.
I gratefully accepted it, even though I didnât really want it. I figured he probably wanted me to have it because he appreciated that I was one of very few who came out to the meet. I didnât want it, but I figured it didnât do any harm to accept it.
The reason I bring it up is because I wasnât a complete asshat about it, even though it wasnât something I felt was necessary.
The other reason I bring it up is because the meet director also had a Trump bumper sticker on one of his vehicles and a Trump promotional poster on the wall of his facility. I immediately thought it was ironic to get a participation accolade from a Trump supporter.
On a related note, I think people avoid an important piece of the conversation when they talk about participation recognition for kids developmental sports.
Anti-ribbon people always say that it doesnât encourage kids to fight harder in the heat of competition, and life is all one big tough competition, or something like that. These people are all about the wins, and they think this is the important lesson kids can learn from sports.
In the past, Iâve talked about how we should reward effort rather than results, and I do still think itâs true.
However, I think there isnât enough attention paid to losing, or failing, and addressing that. I mean, sure, we have all these Rocky Balboa quotes about how many times you can get hit and keep going. But what are we really doing for kids if we focus them only on the win? What happens when they fail, and I mean really fall short, and it isnât the kind of situation where they can just âtry harder next timeâ?
Everything is talking about what it takes to get the win, but youâre going to lose. Unless youâre The Best In The World Forever, you will eventually lose. Everyone loses at some point. And sometimes thereâs nothing you can do about it! Maybe itâs the end if your career, or your season, or god forbid, you get a massive injury. How are you going to handle that? Are you going to act like a moron, because nobody taught you that ITâS OKAY TO FAIL SOMETIMES, or are you going to take a breath and accept that it wasnât in the cards for you, and move on with your life?
As I type this, I know someone may read this and post some macho posturing like, âThatâs not the attitude of a champion/thatâs why youâll never winâ and youâre right! Iâm sure The Best In The World Forever doesnât have to deal with these kinds of issues (yetâŠ), and any losses or failures are only temporary setbacks. However, if youâre NOT the super-elite Ubermensch, and yet you still have this mentality, then youâre delusional, and youâll either wind up driving yourself insane wondering why you arenât adorned with Olympic medals, or youâll eventually realize that Iâm right. I think that indomitable mindset has its place in training and competition, but Iâm talking about an individualâs ability to process the aftermath here.
But definitively we canât all be the best, so my point at this time is just that we need to teach kids how (1) to truly give everything in life their best effort; (2) to get back up when theyâre temporarily set back or disappointed; and finally (3) how to accept losses, failures, and shortcomings with dignity and a healthy mentality, and move on with the rest of their lives.
Today, I failed. I gave my best efforts in training and competition, and I came up short of the national qualifying total that I wanted. It wonât keep me up tonight. In August, I will try again, having trained further in order to prepare. If (knock in wood) I fail again, I will bow out gracefully (though in this case I will try again for next year). And whether I succeed or not, at some point I will lose; how will I handle the disappointment at that time?
I mean, or Iâll go on to be the 94kg Olympic champion until I die.
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