a regular chameleon—

nathaniel howl; thirty-five; returned. ❝ Psychopaths have emotions, too. On second thought, maybe they don't, they're just r e a l l y good at pretending they do. ❞

[nathanielhowl-blog]

petrovaxanya:

Anya loved the way that people spoke about the people they loved. Watching them gush about them without even realising just how much they were giving away was actually adorable. “She does have a beautiful smile, that much I can see.” She agreed. “It seems you really like her, that’s really cute” She said, though she suspected he probably wasn’t called cute a lot in his life. Anya laughed, “There’s no chance of that happening, though I know how much you’d love that.” She said shaking her head. Nothing would ever give her enough reason to use her powers in public. Nothing except maybe Litha in trouble. 

Nathaniel allowed a very small smile to creep onto his lips, and just for a second, as Anya spoke of Eliza. “It lights up a room,” he concurred with a stern nod. “Me? Cute? No... no, dolly. You must have me confused with someone else.” A tiny laugh escaped him as he shook his head lightly. “In fact, I’d like you not to tell others... I like being one of the only ones in the know.” His smirk had turned more devilish than friendly as his brown eyes pierced into hers.

[nathanielhowl-blog]

Take me to w o n d e r l a n d

[nathanielhowl-blog]

littleelizawinnick:

As he tucked in closer, her smile only widened. Though she was a generally very happy person, his company made her happier than she could ever remember being. Maybe it was love, maybe it was something different. Either way, Eliza was certain that she was happy in her uncertainty. For once in her life, she wasn’t desperate to find the explanation for something. Just in that peaceful moment, she was more than happy to lose herself in the gentle feeling of Nathaniel’s body pressed up against her own.

For a moment, she thought the song might have changed but she found she couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to anything besides him for long enough to figure it out. “Maybe I am,” she admitted. There was no doubt that she had a great, wide soft spot when it came to him. A soft giggle escaped her and she tucked her face into the crook of his neck, fingers curling in the back of his jacket. “I like it when you call me that. I like being your babydoll.”

As much as he wanted this to last forever, he knew that was completely irrational. His eyes slowly opened, scanning around them to find they were the only ones left slow dancing-- apparently the song had changed to one far more upbeat-- leaving them the center of many gazes. He sighed mostly to himself, leaning back up to look at Eliza with a genuine smile. The way she her small body fit perfectly into his not-so-small body surprised him; like two puzzle pieces that were made to fit together.

“I know so.” He corrected. Reading people was always one of his best qualities, though anyone could see the torch she held for him. He wasn’t sure why; in what way would a psychopathic serial killer make a good anchor? But he took it and ran... the opportunity to feel something to rare to pass up. “Yeah?” His features lightened. “I think I kind of like it, too.” One more glance at their surroundings before he decided it best not to draw anymore attention than they already had, he leaned closer, gently placing a delicate kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you for the dance, Eliza Winnick.” His tone warm as he took a step back and gave a small and formal bow.

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littleelizawinnick:

Eliza questioned–at least to some extent–everything that became a part of her life. After her world had been torn away from her with all the gentleness of removing a band aid, she always feared it could happen again. That constant fear was one of the reasons she had fallen so deeply into her imagination, far more than she ever had when she lived in her old world. The man that held her so close in that moment was the first person she had ever found that she was certain would not slip from her fingers. That, she thought, was because the way he remained when everything else faded made her think that he had been in her old world as well as the new one.

“I am,” she murmured, lips sloping up into a gentle smile as she looked up at him. His confession surprised her given the precision of his gentle movements and the care with which he held her now that he had relaxed. “You’re wonderful. Amazing. The very best.” Though to someone else her words might have seemed disingenuous, she meant them with absolute truth. She adored him and she would never doubt that he was amazing. “I don’t ever want this to end.”

Nathaniel stared, probably harder than ever before, into Eliza’s blue eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul; that they reveal all of a person. Joy... that was the first thing he saw. As much as he’d love to take credit for that, he knew that was just the person she was. The ‘glass is half full’ optimist that lit a room as soon as she walked into it. From the moment he’d first met her, he’d fallen for her. It was inevitable for anyone, psychopath or not, and here he found himself the lucky one to receive the same amount of affection in return.

A small smile spread across his lips as his eyelids fell, his head leaning down to rest next to hers, arms moving up slightly to encase her even closer. “I think you’re bias.” He whispered in a playful tone. “Out of all the men here, I think I hit the jackpot... I got to dance with you. And for that, I’ll be eternally grateful.” They continued to sway even though the pace had slowed tremendously. “Neither do I, babydoll.”

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radixeiisms:

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Kristina’seyes visibly hardened at his inquire. Was the nationality that important? No ofcourse not, in fact it was just an entrance to know certain ‘why’s’ she wasmore than willing to bring to the grave with her, she had initially thought hewas curious, but now he seemed suspicious, at least in her still scarred andslightly paranoid view. She saw his stare, was it defiant, was it determined?It didn’t really matter. I won’t let you get through me.

“… In aplane.” Stupid answer? Yes, it fitted for a stupid person, if he thought shewould share those apparent ‘nonchalant’ facts about herself he had anotherthing coming, she gave a sip to her drink and her eyes wandered to the girlthat was now in the floor, she apparently succeeded the task to fall aspredicted, that was a good way to bring the conversation where it was supposedto be; out of her personal life.

“Yourdrrrunken girl fell.” She pointed out.

Her features screamed how unwilling she was to talk to him, her mistrust in him completely warranted. Though, he wasn’t used to it, having to work for facts that would normally be easy to retrieve. A heartedly laugh released into the air as the accented words left her lips. “Well, I should hope you didn’t have to walk.” His added words tainted with sarcasm.

He followed the mysterious woman’s gaze to find the disgruntled and fallen body in the middle of the ball room. “Hopefully she learned her lesson.” He took another swig of his drink before cocking his head to the side. “Probably not.”

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petrovaxanya:

She saw him mutter something but she didn’t hear properly, so she let it go. “Oh!’ She said, almost excited for him, following the direction he pointed. She spotted the girl and smiled. “Oh, she’s very beautiful. I haven’t met her before. Eliza, you said? I’ll be sure to make a point of introducing myself.” she said, looking back at him. “And you’re sure she doesn’t mind?” She asked knowing that she too would manage on her own, but if her date refused to dance with her she’d be upset - regardless of who it was. His smile made a deep part of her feel uneasy, but she ignored it, not letting her paranoia about him knowing her secret get the best of her. “I guess they’ll have to” She said with a shrug and a small nod.

His ‘grumpy’ features softened as the opposite female spotted and began to talk about Eliza. “Yes, Eliza. She’s a ball of joy, that one. I’m sure she’d love to meet you.” The look of admiration that had spread across his face quickly faded as he turned his attention back to Anya, shaking his head lightly. “I’m not entirely sure she knows how to be upset,” he added with a slight shrug, “though she knows I’d do whatever she wanted.” Nathaniel shut his mouth tightly, not meaning to divulge just how strongly he’d felt about the much younger blonde. “Either that or you could grab all of their attention and show them just how magical this could be... but something tells me that option’s out of the question, yes?”

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petrovaxanya:

“Well, you must have a sad life.” She said with a shrug. “You didn’t bring a date?” She asked him, though she expected that he hadn’t. Especially since he didn’t plan on dancing. “Now you’re just being boring.” She joked. She couldn’t hold back the laugh that came after he choked on his drink. “That may be true, but you and I are the only ones who know that.” She told him, “What about the magic for everyone else?”

“If you only knew.” He whispered quietly enough to go unheard above the music surrounding them, a devilish smirk on his lips for a second before relaxing them to avoid suspicion. “I did, actually. Well, probably not a ‘date’ per se, but I accompanied her here.” He quickly scanned the room to find the blonde as she socialized with a wide grin. “Eliza,” he pointed in her direction, “and she’s more than capable of having a good time without me as her dance partner.” His head tilted slightly, a sly curl on his mouth as she revealed how secretive her secret was, the less who knew, the more weight it held. “I’m sure they’ll find something magical on their own... it’s a dog eat dog world out there, dolly.”

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petrovaxanya:

“Everyone dances. Don’t be the grumpy guy who sits on the side and doesn’t join in. Unless you’re planning on donating a lot of money, in which case, do as you like. But you never know, it could be magical” she said, wiggling her fingers at him.

“I don’t.” He retorted quickly. “I’m simply here to blend in and observe, Ms. Petrova.” The small glass raised to his lips as he took a small sip of his drink, only to nearly choke at her next comment. He stared at her for a moment, speechless, the joke taking him entirely off guard. “I think there’s enough magic here for the both of us,” he collected himself to finally respond.

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littleelizawinnick:

Eliza’s heart fluttered in her chest like a butterfly trying to get free, pressing up against her ribs as each moment passed in his arms. Fear was something she was well acquainted with, but she felt none of it when she was with him. Though she was fragile–just as fragile as her tenuous grip on reality–and there was no doubt that he could break her if he so chose, she was certain in her belief that he would never choose to.

Blue eyes stayed locked onto brown as she focused on him above all else, even as the world around her slowly faded back to reality. She decided she liked him in both of her truths, both when he was young and sweet and when age was evident in the gentle angles of his face. For a moment, she wondered if he might judge her if she told him of the way the worlds changed, but her fears were quickly put to rest when she remembered how he had reacted to her telling him about her old world.

“I’m glad you came here with me. I don’t think I’d want to dance with anyone else.” 

Nathaniel had spent his entire life pretending, the price he had to pay for being the way he was. He didn’t resent it; it had never even phased him. But for once, he didn’t have to. Eliza’s mind so intricate and different that he never had to wonder if she’d judge his statements, no matter how unrehearsed or odd they may be. In this moment, he was happy. The kind of happy Eliza spent her days feeling; the kind of happy he’d thought himself incapable of feeling.

They’d melted together, closer than he even realized as they swayed in beat to the music he could barely hear over the sound of his own heartbeat. It pounded in every inch of him, another constant reminder that what he was feeling was genuine. Every inch of his body that was remotely close to touching her softened, like even the slightest toughness would send her breaking beneath his tainted touch. He’d been completely wrapped up in the concept of him feeling something that he hadn’t stopped to consider if he was good for her; what she needed.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” He smiled lightly. “I’ve never danced with anyone else.” He admitted somewhat sheepishly. “If I’m horrible at it, just don’t tell me.”

[nathanielhowl-blog]

petrovaxanya:

Anya swayed slowly to the music, sipping from her drink, and looked at Nathaniel. “Well, at least she’s trying. I don’t see you out there..” She said, cocking her head to the side and turned to face him. 

Nathaniel silently laughed, arching a brow as he faced her. “And when in either of our two encounters did I ever gave the impression that I dance?”

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radixeiisms:

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She gavehim and odd look, did he just wondered about her wellbeing out of curiosity?Kristina wasn’t fine what that kind of people, people who tried to pry in everybusiness just because usually got in her nerves, especially since she was awoman of secrets, lots of them, but she remained silent, giving one last stareat his hand, like trying to read the true intentions behind the gesture beforeshaking hands out of common obligation.

“I didn’tplan on staying long.” She didn’t give her name immediately, if she was luckyhe would be like anyone else, fine with talking with ‘that one girl’ for somemoments and nothing more. Kristina liked it that way, in the past she learnedthat her name wasn’t her best ally, she didn’t like to throw it around eventhough she was out of danger already.

He let out a small chuckle as she stared at his offered hand for far longer than anyone had before. She was cautious, visibly examining him as if she wasn’t quite sure of his true intentions. Granted, no one knew his true intentions, but the fact that she wasn’t ready to just roll with it left him wanting to know about her even more than usual. He waited patiently before faking a disarming smile as she eventually slid her cold hand into his.

“Can’t say I blame you. A bunch of well-dressed, well-spoken people aren’t really my cup of tea, either.” Nathaniel would much rather be alone; truthfully, taking someone’s life as they lay helpless on his floor. But... appearances. He’d mastered many talents living the way he did, without emotions or feelings, and the appearance that he was outgoing was one of them.

Not giving her name did not go unnoticed as he narrowed his eyes slightly, all while keeping his gaze on her. “Russia, right? How’d you end up in Bentley?” To anyone else, it’d just seem like small talk, but he’d gotten the feeling the blonde knew just exactly what he was doing; prying.

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coleelliot:

Colette’s hues landed on the hand that was now outstretched to her. “It’s nice to meet you, Nathaniel.” She said, slipping her smaller hand into his for a moment. “There.” She said, lifting the fingers of her free hand to motion to the girl being escorted off the floor. “I suppose the crowd is going to have to find something else to put there attention on now.” Colette said softly, removing her hand from his.

Nathaniel wore the friendly smile he usually did, the one he’d spent years practicing so it would look real. He lifted his eyebrows briefly before following her hand to reveal the stumbling woman being all but carried to the edge of the room. “I suppose so, we’re all back to square one...  everyone looking in every direction to find someone whose doing something worthy of their gaze.”

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littleelizawinnick:

Though Eliza was a generally happy person, though somewhat naive, it had been a long time since she had felt any kind of certainty. She was a lost girl, taken out of the place she called home and trapped in a strange land with things she couldn’t even begin to understand. She was a wanderer, a daydreamer, a hopeless girl with dreams that would never find their way to fruition. All the things that she had grown to love were ephemeral. She had thought that an unbreakable rule, yet Nathaniel was there now when everything else faded, his hands around her waist and his heart beating steadily not far from her own.

There were no words she knew to describe the way the way her worlds collided, just as there was nothing in her vocabulary to help her understand the way he looked at her. When he looked at other people, it seemed to her that they were nothing more to him than things to skim for information when he wanted to and discard when he was done. When he looked at her, however, she felt like perhaps she was his favorite book, one that he was so desperate to read from cover to cover. She felt that, if he found the bravery to finally open her up, she would welcome him among the pages of her story.

“So are you. We should dance more often, I think.”

His features relaxed, muscles easing against hers as the stiff awkwardness slowly melted away. As cliche as it sounded, the world around them all but faded away, his eyes locked onto hers as she was the only thing he saw; the only thing that mattered. 

It made little sense -- no, it made no sense for him to find such solace in another, especially a happy go lucky wanderess. Yet here he was completely smitten with the blonde a little closer than arm’s reach. His arms took a mind of their own as he pulled her waist closer so the two were inches from the others’ face, a genuine smile creeping onto his lips and threatening to stay.

“I think you’re right.”

[nathanielhowl-blog]

littleelizawinnick:

Though Eliza’s view of the world was warped by both her forever overactive imagination and the lasting consequences of a death she couldn’t remember, there were certain things she found were true no matter what world she built up around herself. Sometimes the things around her shook and she wondered if perhaps she was back where she was meant to be, but even then there were consistencies between the old world and the new. 

Since meeting Nathaniel, he had been one such thing so when the gala around her shifted and changed, becoming something more familiar to her than she had felt in a long time, he remained right in front of her just the way he was. Maybe he had a few less lines on his face and maybe the curve of his jaw had just a little more stubble, but he was still Nathaniel beyond a doubt. The thought eased her, even when the shifting of the world would normally frighten her, and she moved closer, tenderly wrapping her arms around his neck.

Her eyes shifted all over the room with an emotion he’d yet to see in those blue hues of hers. Describing it would be futile considering he hadn’t the slightest clue as to what it was; confusion, maybe? Terror was there as well. And awe. His brows pulled together as he examined every inch of her face trying desperately to find the secret she’d kept hidden until just now.

But then something happened.. her eyes found his and filled with nothing but peace. Like suddenly his presence brought reassurance to her troubles; that he was like an anchor to her runaway ship. She pulled him slightly closer, her arms enclosing around his neck as a small smile tugged at his lips. “You’re quite the dancer.” He whispered, the moment and the girl all but taking his breath away.

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radixeiisms:

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“… that’sherr problem.” She retorted back, in Kristina’s view if she had enough gutsto drink she should deal with the problems that came with it later.

“Peopleneed falls, learn from mistakes, if she don’t die, is fine enough.” Inother words, they could have an unconscious woman in the middle of the ballroom, and in her mind, that was just fine, it’s how she’d raise herself, atleast.

“Is your frriend?”She got a look of him too, another average partaker of the event, dressed upfor the occasion, she couldn’t say the same for herself.

Nathaniel let a small smile creep onto his lips; the mysterious Russian woman was blunt and honest, much unlike the rest of Bentley’s population. “Indeed it is.” He nodded in agreement before letting his eyes trail back to the intoxicated woman as she danced.

“Some people don’t tend to learn from those mistakes,” his head tilting slightly, “but once again... that’s their problem.” Her next question causing a tiny chuckle to pass his lips. “Oh, no, dolly. I have no idea who she is.”

“Nathaniel.” He outstretched his arm in introduction, eyes wandering over the blonde once more. “Odd choice of attire.” He commented, more to himself than anything. She was intriguing, to say the least, and Nathaniel was eager to learn more; to find out what made her tick.

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littleelizawinnick:

Eliza didn’t know a lot about intricate emotions or anything even similar to romance, but she did know that she already adored Nathaniel and all his kindness and his brilliant mind. It was undeniable how she smiled around him and the way he made her heart flutter, well, she had never felt anything like it before. “I would love to.”

The smile he received in response brought on of his own to his lips. She was genuinely happy, not too tedious a task for anyone who tried, Eliza was almost always happy. But here she was, smiling because of him. This whole interaction between them left him quite confused; half of his mind questioning his actions while the other half constantly replayed the moments like these. If Nathaniel didn’t know any better, he’d say he fancied the younger woman... but Nathaniel didn’t have feelings, he never did.

Her small hand slid into his own and he held it with a soft yet firm grip as she followed him to the dance floor. A slow, instrumental version of ‘Silver Bells’ began to echo throughout the building as Nathaniel awkwardly held her waist, keeping her at arms length as they began gently swaying back and forth to the rhythm of the music.

[nathanielhowl-blog]

coleelliot:

Colette heard the man next to her make a comment. Her own fingers were wound around a glass as she nodded slowly. Eyes never left the figure as she raised her drink to her lips. “Someone will get her soon enough.” Colette commented softly as before her eyes turned towards the man before trying to recall if she’d seen him before. “I’m Colette.”

A nod was given in response before he turned to examine the one who’d responded. “For her sake, I hope it’s sooner rather than later.” The female introduced herself as he outstretched his arm for an introductory handshake. “Hello, Colette. I’m Nathaniel.”