UNASMUN NATO TOPIC 2

[natobalkans-blog]

Ok i have no idea what to write anymore

Representatives from the 4th Reich have entered the Forbidden Palace to go into negotiations with The People’s Republic of China, in the hopes of creating a trans-continental alliance for the greater good of humanity. 

Once again, Swiss hackers have hacked into the public announcement of South-East Asian countries to display the following image, as well as continuously play the chinese national anthem. 

Countries like Singapore have expressed huge interest for the ice cream, with thousands queuing up for the Romani ice cream. The Singaporean PPAP party has expressed support for the 4th Reich, offering to make the SG 52 motto to be “cyka cyka vodka burrpp”.

On the other side of the world, the Japanese ninjas have launched their official attack on Lithuania and other 4th Reich states, starting with humour bombs which are believed to be super effective against the Lithuanians, who have proven to be extremely devoid of chill and bantz.

[natobalkans-blog]

Fox news

Donald has said in a recent interview:

“well, Natalia, she's great she's an amazing person. absolutely amazing. you know she's soo talented. She's gonna be huge. huge. if she wasn't taken by Putin, I might be dating her. You know i don't think its fair for Vlad to have it all. Melania will be away for the weekend helping me attend the G20 summit, its not important so I don't go for it.”

what do you think about the 4th Reich

“I think its great, its gonna be huge. Barack and I love it. Wait thats the one with Israel and Palestine right?”

[natobalkans-blog]

WW !!!

Protesting against the 4th Reich’s alliance with China, Japanese ninjas armed with sushi rollers and samurais armed with sashimi knifes are forming an alliance with Pinoy Dota gamers and Thai trannys. Experts expect this force to be lethal. 

They are now travelling to Europe to join the fight against the 4th Reich, lead by USA and Bulgaria.

[natobalkans-blog]

LOL

The forces of the 4th Reich have now taken over Bulgaria. 

Their people will now be sold as slaves to Lithuania.

KimJOng Un has fell into a coma for overeating

[natobalkans-blog]

Wew

In a brilliant show of feminism gone wrong, Albania has been taken over by gypsies. Natalia Ong has decreed for all Albanian man to be sold as slaves to the rest of the 4th Reich States. Lithuania has expressed interest in buying these slaves.

Natalia has offered to work with the 4th Reich in their endeavours. If the rest agrees, the force of the 4th Reich will be stronger than ever.

[natobalkans-blog]

po-Land Nukes

“In a world of the 4th right, ottoman empire ,open aggressions of USA and Russia seeming as mother teresa in comparison to other states Poland has agreed to work with Russia and revoke the power of the USSR and both nations agree to work together. Russia is sending nukes to poland as a token of friendship and sharing common goals in today’s world”.

After this press release by the President of Poland, the Russian side has issued a formal comment. 

https://youtu.be/hPkqUX9rqj4?t=58s

Putin has explained that he shall accept part of Poland’s request, given how generous and understanding he is.

“Russia is sending nukes to Poland as a token of friendship. Well i mean, they asked for it and be send it.” Ten nuclear IBM warheads are now flying towards Poland, and this might signal the destruction of a NATO ally. It is unsure how the USA and UK would respond to this. 

 In an extra newspaper column, Putin added: “My one and only love is natalia, i am not your friend, i am not your spouse. Except for you, Natalia<3 winky face”

[natobalkans-blog]

Got gypsied

The Gypsy women in Albania are now rebelling against their Albanian guards, demanding to be made full fledged citizens. After the guards’ rejection of their proposal, the Gypsy women took the weapons that the Albanian government forced them to make in secret at the camp and wiped out the entire elite Albanian special forces. 

The mayor of Tirana is now shaking at the approach of 10 000 gypsy women in tanks and Ak-47s. He has warned the President that at this rate, Albanian will become a gypsy republic. 

It has been reported that Putin has offered the Gypsy leader, Natalia Ong a marriage proposal as his 7th wife, in exchange for making Albania a Russian satellite state. Ms Ong has agreed to hand over all the NATO stockpiles and mobile nuclear warheads to Putin. With this, it is suspected the 4th Reich might integrate with Russia, to from a new USSR. 

Cyka Cyka Vodka burrppp.

(Read in Romani-Russian: Make USSR great again)

[natobalkans-blog]

Eh Bo

It has been reported that a secret training base has been established in the rural Alps, where 500,000 males and 500,000 females fit for military service from Switzerland have been recruited for 20 new mountaineering divisions.

The rest of the 4th Reich are upset they haven't been jioed to this camp, given the rumours of how fun the daily trainings are.

Suspicious movements of troops have been reported around the boundaries of Bulgaria. The mayor of Sofia has recently released a confusing statement, of something resembling a huge battalion wielding spears and shields chanting amidst a bunch goatherders.

[natobalkans-blog]

N(EU)traljerks

The members of the 4th Reich have all been attacked by ISIS, or so they say. They claim that the capitol cities of Albania, Latvia, Lithuania have all been bombed, with hundreds of casualties.

However, an ISIS spokesman, greg known by his unsightly fashion sense has taken to radio channels to complain that in fact ISIS has never carried out such attacks, simply because there aren't enough people living in the capitols of Latvia and Lithuania to justify the money used to bomb them.  “I don't want to be killing more goats than people”.

He has also revealed that the hacker which was suspected to have hacked the ISIS accounts left an access code with the username as “Neutraljerks”. Questions are being raised as to who actually hacked the Turkish databases in the first place, and what hidden motives they might have.

Bulgaria is crying foul over the 4th Reich planting false information, claiming that the 4th Reich’s militarisation of the region is worrying. The President of Bulgaria has asked other members of NATO like USA to hold the 4th Reich under control. 

Donald Trump’s nudes are now trending on the black market in Albania, especially in the Gypsy internment camps where the hysterical woman are now selling off locks of their hair for a reprinted poster.

[natobalkans-blog]

4 th Reich

There have been news of a group of countries coming together to form a new military partnership, known as the Fourth Reich. 

Romanian and Bulgarian spies have reported sightings of an Albanian Smallfaced Cat, a Swiss Knifemaker, an Icelandic caveman, a malnourished Latvian potato farmer, a homeless Greek banker and a Lithuanian viking.

It is unclear as too what these countries are up to, but gypsies throughout Romania are falling victims of mass kidnappings. Shockingly, the Romani gypsies are now signing up to be kidnapped, quoting one gypsy “I finally have a fixed home and nice Albanian man to marry”.

Albania has yet to respond, but Albanian women are now taking to the streets in large scale protests. 

[natobalkans-blog]

Donnie my bae

After the chaos caused by the series of cyber attacks on government data bases, the NAC has just convened to hold an emergency meeting to discuss the level of threat of these hackers.

At the same time, the government websites as well as email accounts of government officials of Lithuania and Latvia have been hacked to display anti-American images and articles.

One disturbing occurrence was when the Galleria Riga shopping mall’s led display panels displayed nudes of the new USA president, Donald Trump.

No one knows how much has been hacked, what has been hacked or what the hackers are planning. 

[natobalkans-blog]

Turkey’s dealings?

A recent information leak of several classified government databases has revealed a trail of disturbing evidence.

The Turkish government has been reported to have purchased a staggering 65% of all ISIS crude oil revenues. In fact, the Turkish President, Erdogan has allegedly signed contracts with European operating companies to carry Iraqi stolen oil to different Asian countries. The Turkish government buys Iraqi plundered oil which is being produced from the Iraqi seized oil wells. Bilal Erdogan’s maritime companies own special wharfs in Beirut and Ceyhan ports that are transporting ISIS’ smuggled crude oil in Japan-bound oil tankers. The list of private transaction details of relatives of President Erdogan has revealed a series of private family business that now puts Erdogan's son, Bilal Erdogan in the spotlight as the middleman who carts away ISIS oil to European and other international markets in exchange for hundreds of millions of dollars, and the primary culprit of regional demand for the Islamic State’s “terrorist oil” would be the nation of Turkey.

The world media is now discussing why certain "Western alliances" have turned a blind eye to Turkey's blatant sponsorships in terms of oil revenue and supply of weapons, and leaders of NATO countries are now under scrutiny by their domestic population for the shady dealings that could have come across which has played a huge role in the rise of ISIS.

Global sentiments calls for persecution of the Turkish President and his family by the International Criminal Court, as well as calls for Turkey to be placed under probation in the North Atlantic Council.