[woundthatswallows]

baby girl your speech patterns make no sense. im in love with you

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[texcritterspizzajamboree]

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

[meme-loving-stuck]

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

[kaban-bang]

[spelldealer]

cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[power-chords]

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[meanbuddhist]

my body knows something that i don’t and i can’t get her to talk to me

[eisenkrahe]

[flipocrite]

not she berry or he berry but no berry

and that is berry good

[psyduckz]

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[yellow-cat]

hey sorry for being so snappish earlier i was in a bad mood. and im still in a bad mood so can you fuck off

[nbarpf]

One of my all-time favorites

[fuck-customers]

[boymounter]

my dad bought a cnc and is going wild

[thethirdromana]

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

[vampfuneralpyre]

[badassdemonsword]

You couldnt come up with a jollier name for a bird if you tried

[minmos]

this thang has one of my favorite ebird descriptions of all time

[dogpuppy]

[sourcreammachine]

the engineers designing the tesla truck