[woundthatswallows]

baby girl your speech patterns make no sense. im in love with you

[halondrus]

[cutecipher]

can you put that thing on a leash?

[halondrus]

ok

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[orthoscheme]

these brownies seem a little strong

[orthoscheme]

well if i have any complaints i can just call potassium about it but im too meek so i wont

[segamascott]

[segamascott]

[shitter]

absolute gold on Reddit today

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[hotvampireadjacent]

Halal movie night follow up

[loyalsquire]

I'm learning so much about princesses on tumblr dot com

[kinuko]

[skweebs]

Made this guy from my favorite Gerard Donelan comic

[valtsv]

anyone who thinks dostoevsky's writing is dry and humourless is missing out on passages like this

[valtsv]

[hagnanimous]

Me when I read a book by a famous author that’s a modern classic and everyone says it’s really good and then it’s really good

[byjove]

my mom brought her ILL-BEHAVED, UNWASHED DOG into our HARMONIOUS HOME

[cheese-wiz-for-bones]

that is the most black cat looking black cat i've seen in my life, good for them.

[byjove]

she has been practicing since she was very young

[merimaybe]

What a dignified and shapely beast…

[soulren]

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do