Non-Binary Help and Resources

[nbhelp]

Hi I want to come out to my mom as non binary but I dont know how! What do I do? Pls help me!

This really depends on what sort of situation you’re in and what you feel most comfortable doing! I definitely suggest having some articles and other resources on hand to help explain everything. Try getting her alone, saying something like ‘I need to talk to you about something important, I really need you to listen’ etc. Or if you’re uncomfortable doing that you could always write a letter, email, text etc. In any case, make sure that you’re ready for the worst case scenario. If you think it could go bad, make sure you have a friend or relatives place to stay at. She’ll probably ask questions, so be ready for that. It might take a while for her to come around to the idea as well.Just be firm, assure her that you’re still the same person, and tell her that you need her support in this as well.Good luck!

[nbhelp]

I'm genderfluid, but I prefer presenting in a masculine manner most of the time. I want a more masculine name, a flat chest, etc. Even when I feel more feminine, I still prefer masculine pronouns. Is this typical for a genderfluid individual, or is there a label that fits me better?

well I definitely think you can be genderfluid and want these things, since they don’t necessarily mean you’re a different gender and just seems like a preference. As for other things that could also fit, I’m not too sure since you havn’t described much of your gender, but maybe demiboy or bigender?

[1940snico]

For all my trans and expecting friends out there 

[nbhelp]

Hi, I came out to my Mum as nonbinary and she uses 'I don't understand it,' as an excuse to disregard it (despite my constant explanations and examples). When she's angry she particularly emphasises terms that misgender me. Is there anyway to open her mind and explain it to her? Would misgendering her in return be childish and pointless? Thank you☺️

ahh I’m not sure how to help you here. if shes refusing to listen to your explanations it might take a bit to get through to her. If you think it would help and wouldn’t get you in trouble, I’d say try the misgendering her back approach, it might make her see sense but it also might make things worse. Maybe you could try and sit her down and tell her that even if she doesn’t understand, you need her to respect that you’re nonbinary anyway because being misgendered is hurtful. maybe use the whole, ‘I don’t understand the laws of physics, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t real’ argument?

[nbhelp]

Hey I'm agender and I'm romantically attracted to men is there any term for it?? I don't want to use gay/mlm terms because I'm not a man myself

There’s androromantic, but some people find that icky since it sort of implies biological sex. Its sort of the equivalent of gyneromantic/sexual if you know about that. If that makes you uncomfortable, I’ve also heard of maromantic being used, which is just attraction to men

[nbhelp]

Hello! I'm nonbinary (agender) but I sure do love the long hair, and I think makeup looks very pretty. I wish I could do these things without looking feminine. I'd like to look not-male and not-female. So anyway, do you know any long hair hairstyles that appear androgynous?

It can be difficult to make long hair look as androgynous as you’d like, but I got a fair few good examples by just google image searching ‘long hair androgynous’! Here’s a couple of them that I personally think look good:

Thats just me though. Have a look around, see what you come up with! hope this helped c:

-Mod Jamie

[nbhelp]

I like your page and and its purpose and I hope you can help me. I've been having dysphoria with my birth name and I'm looking for a new one. Can you offer any suggestions? I have a preference for like Jamie, Aryan, Brandon, and Duncan. Thank you for any help you can offer.

hmm, maybe something like Aaron, Aidan, Adrien, Liam, Brody, Nathan? I’m not too sure, it helps looking through lots of baby name sites.

- Mod Jamie

[nbhelp]

I have a question, is it ok for your biological sex to be female and your gender to be demigirl or female-alligned nonbinary? I just started questioning. I'm weird, I mean generally I feel agender (when I picture myself I don't think of any gender-specific atributes) except I can enjoy a feminine aesthetic and makeup. I have felt weird at being seen as "one of the girls" sometimes, yet sometimes I don't have a problem with it? Idk I feel sort of like a special snowflake.

Its completely fine! if thats how you want to identify, then thats okay. You aren’t a ‘special snowflake’ for being yourself, and whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy is valid.

- Mod Jamie

[nbhelp]

I'm genderfluid and living in California. I'm not out yet, but the dysphoria gets bad, especially with my chest. I wear a size 36C bra, and I have no way to get a binder. Do you have any suggestions?

Well, you could use one or two sports bras, or if you wanted suggestions to get a binder then you could try ordering it to a PO box or friends place if the issue is parents. Or if the issue is money, there are loads of binder give aways on tumblr and facebook for either free or significantly cheaper. Good luck!-Mod Jamie

[nbhelp]

Do you have any tips to deal with terrible chest dysphoria? I'm not able to bind because of summer (it's very hot here)

Hmm. well if its too hot for a binder, a sports bra usually makes me feel a lot better, but I understand that could make dysphoria worse. I’d say keep reminding yourself that no matter what, its only temporary. Summer will end, and one day (if this is what you want) you’ll be able to have top surgery.Sorry I’m not really good at advice, but this link might give you some better tips than I can!

-Mod Jamie

[nbhelp]

hi i live in mexico, ive met several nb ppl here but i dont know what pronouns to use??? please help i dont want to misgender anyone

Hey anon, I’m sorry I don’t live anywhere near mexico or any Spanish speaking countries so I have no idea?? I mean in English there’s they/them, but i have no clue when it comes to Spanish. Your safest bet would simply be to ask one of the nb people you’ve met. Do any Spanish speaking followers know?

- Mod Jamie

[nbhelp]

So since i haven’t gone by Rin for a while now i figure I should probably change my name on here? Yeah. So instead of mod Rin, I’m gonna be mod Jamie. 

[nbhelp]

this is probably a really unorthodox series of questions, but im nonbinary/dont really feel gender and i broke up with my ex because hes really transphobic and definitely unwilling to change and im still not sure if it was the right thing to do? its been a while (several months) and im still really hung up over it, should i be? are nonbinary people considered trans (i dont know if the sources i look at online are correct)?

I definitely think that would’ve been the right thing to do, as a non binary person transphobia would be a complete deal breaker for me and for a lot of others. It’s normal to be hung up over an ex, it might take a while to work through that and move on, and thats fine. On a technical level non binary people are trans, and its up to the individual whether they want to call themselves trans or not.(sorry if this answer didnt make sense or anything?? im sick at the moment and a tad delirious lmao)

- Mod Rin

[nbhelp]

I feel like I don't have the right to identify as nonbinary since it's just a thing of countries who speak English. Where I live there are no nonbinary genders. Just male and female. Identifying as nonbinary makes me feel like I'm just stealing something from someone else's culture.

Its definitely not just an english speaking/western thing. Non binary genders have existed for centuries all over the world (mostly in non-white countries I believe) I’m not expert but to name a few, there are: 

- two spirit people from native american culture- hijra of India- calalai, calabai and metagender of Sulawesi, Indonesia- kocek, from the ottoman empire- muxes from mexico- warias from Indonesia- the mahus of hawaii

Hopefully this helps? (also I got a lot of these from here)

Mod Rin

[nbhelp]

i've questioned my gender in the past, but came to the conclusion that even though i know i'm not cis, i'm still ok with being seen as my assigned gender, and there wasn't really enough discomfort to address it further. in the past few weeks, though, there have been times where i feel agender/not female to the point that i'm very uncomfortable w being called a girl. i don't know how this came on so suddenly, but i'm scared i'm telling myself this is how i feel just to feel special. any advice?

In my experience, I haven’t seen anyone who convinces themself they’re non binary just to feel special. I still do that to myself, and I feel like for me its a lot of self doubt and maybe even internalised transphobia at times. Anyways, if you feel like you might be agender, I suggest experimenting with that label and maybe different pronouns. Try and find out what terms you’re comfortable and happy with!

Mod Rin

[nbhelp]

i recently realized that its probably not normal for a cis person to constantly wanna get rid of their boobs and i started really thinking about my gender identity. ive always been cool with any pronouns, and been actually very glad when people have mistaken me for a guy on the interwebs. it also makes me feel good when people say i look like a guy with say some specific piece of clothing on. i dont really feel like a guy tho, so i think i might be nonbinary. any input ? im still very confused

It sounds like you might be non binary! I suggest exploring different terms to describe yourself if thats what you want, such as things like agender. If you want more help with terms, feel free to message again. Maybe explore different pronouns, clothing styles, hair styles and things like that as well. Good luck!

Mod Rin

[demigender-positivity]

tips on being nb

here are some tips to ~properly~ being nonbinary, in step-by-step form!!!

step 1: are u nonbinary? if yes, move on to step 2!

step 2: that’s it. ur done. congrats, ur nonbinary & don’t need to change anything abt urself!!! now go out there & b urself, u beautiful, amazing person