since FOR as long as he could remember NOTHING was better than him. “i’m just awesome and everyone isn’t!” were words katsuki told himself constantly as a child, words he was ALWAYS told, the words he had to become. to become an awesome hero, no, the BEST hero in existence that even ALL MIGHT couldn’t begin to compare, that was his entire life’s ambition, his goal, his reason. he’ll be damned if a speck of mere dirt is going to RUIN everything he’s WORKED hard for, EVERYTHING everyone WANTS him to be, the only thing he knows how to be.
“ … to stroke my own ego?” a juggernaut of ANGER overtakes him; clenched fists so tight it makes veins appear clear as day on muscular arms, fully prepared to shut that trap of hers. and WITHOUT a further thought (not like he was thinking to begin with.) a fist is flung at her shirt collar, fingers clenching violently ONTO THE fabric as all boundaries were DISREGARDED. he JERKS her upward so that they’re fully face to face, wrathful orbs staring right through her, attacking her down to the BITTER core.
“ — lets get one fuckin’ thing straight.” spat, adrenaline rushing through his body as his grip strengthens; the manifestation of rage only growing stronger. “he is NOT, and NEVER will be a BETTER hero than me. and you? i’m not going to be DISRESPECTED by someone who doesn’t know SHIT about me’ — i have my reasons for wanting to be a hero, and its not just an ego booster and i don’t need to explain myself to you, and if deku’s such a GREAT hero – why isn’t HE telling me, are you his MESSENGER? – yeah, BIG BAD HERO over here. ”
katsuki releases his hold on her, allowing her to fall down on the ground with a loud THUD. not even a second later his foot is KICKED hard against the wall (purposefully missing her head by a few inches.) and crimson daggers stare down at her as she’s right where she belongs, BENEATH him.
“—- deku’s the one that bothers me, i don’t go after him to mock his dumbass, and i’m not changing up my persona just for that loser or anyone for that matter. so GET used to it, i’ll treat him however I WANT, not like he can DO anything about it. so mind your own fuckin’ business if you know whats good for you.” foot retracts back, spinning and turning on his heel as he goes to walk away. fuck. that. bitch.
SHE HATES HERSELF FOR BEING AFRAID --- but she’d be an idiot not to be. Feet well above the ground, EXPLOSIVE FIST CURLED AROUND HER COLLAR, too close, too close. Her teeth are bared { like his } and those bright eyes somewhere between terrified and ENRAGED. For her own sake, yes --- but more for him. DEKU, DEKU, DEKU. No wonder the boy was so timid, if this is the aggression he’s always dealt with! One hell of a rival; and HERS AS WELL as his. But that is not the point now --- is he going to hurt her? STRIKE HER? She won’t go down easy --- he knows that well!!
But --- !! Behind the anger and the fear, she mourns for him. SHE IS GOOD. Intensely so, bright and burning and glittering. SHE WISHES SHE COULD UNDERSTAND! He is so full of rage and something she cannot name and she cannot understand it. He has support, power! Why should he be so cruel? Were she calmer, less afraid and less angry and less HURT, she’d likely ask. Push and prod and pull. He’s bared to her { and she to him, she supposes hazily } and she hates what she sees in his eyes. She hates that she cannot put a name to it.
But now is not the time for KINDNESS; he drops her and she hits the ground. Eyes screw shut, shoulders tight as she waits for a bruise or worse; eyes widening when his foot instead meets the wall beside her skull. She’s SHAKING as she stares up at him as he spits at her; hit a nerve without even knowing it. She’s SHAKING and she wants to push back up and fight back, or yell, or SOMETHING --- but she can’t. She can’t do anything but try to breathe.
He spins on his heel and her chest heaves. For a long moment that is all she can manage; forcing air back into her lungs.
“He’s my friend,” she finally gasps. “H - he’s my friend, so I want to protect him.” They grew up together. Who could grow up with someone like Izuku and HATE THEM? HE’S GOING TO BEAT YOU, she wants to say, but doesn’t. He’s going to beat you. And someday, so am I.
jacobvanloon
2087
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