Make Ten Men Feel Like a Hundred

"I'm beginning to think the Force and I have different priorities." [indie Cassian Andor from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.] THIS BLOG IS NOT SPOILER FREE

[daughterofgalen]

;( ncthingtolcse )

“The whole planet is made of volcanoes, just land somewhere that’s safe and we can hike,” she suggested with a smile, moving to place her hand on his. “It’s just a picnic, it can’t weight that much. I’m sure we’ll be able to carry it up a volcano between us.”

Jyn sat back in her seat and took in a deep breath, sighing gently. “What’s brought all this on anyway, Captain? It’s not like you to take a leisure day, and it’s even less like you to go out of your way to make a picnic for a girl and take her to her old home. Are you planning something, Andor?”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

“No, not planning anything,” Cassian lied smoothly, years of experience as a rebel intelligence agent (read: spy) helping make the lie believable. 

Maneuvering the ship in for a landing, Cassian picked the best landing site he could, one of many wide open fields on the planet, not far from a cluster of volcanic mountains. As the ship finished its descent, Cassian powered it off and stood up, grabbing the basket and opening the hatch for Jyn. “Here we are,” he told her, smiling.

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

daughterofgalen:

;( ncthingtolcse )

“I’m fine.” Jyn lied again, moving slowly to pull the blanket back over her. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, controlling the rise and fall of her chest to try and calm the pain flaring in her side, fingers fisting the sheets tightly as she tried to think of anything but the pain in her side. Anything but the pain in her side and Cassian Andor’s hands, that had just been on her bare skin - gentle and cool. No, it wasn’t like that. He was helping her, nothing more.

“You should get some rest.” She muttered through her barred teeth. “Stop worrying about me, there’s no point in it.”

Cassian shook his head. Stubborn girl, he thought, but sighed. She was right, there was no point him worrying over her, and his presence was what had caused her wound to reopen in the first place. So he slowly stood up and made his way back to his bed, but not before taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m right there if you need me. Just call out,” he told her.

As he gently got back into his own bed, he groaned slightly at all the strain to his still-weak, long-unused muscles. Still, he’d do it again in a heartbeat for Jyn.

[thesonofasmuggler]

@ncthingtolcse needs a teacher.

“What’s this button do?”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

“The ejection seat button. Don’t touch it. Or anything else.”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

sergeantstardust:

❝Hallway?❞  Jyn mumbled with hurry, hurry and excitement that she wouldn’t really care to admit not even to herself but she did need to see him. She missed him, even.  ❝Nevermind —— I’ll get to your room.❞  She got up from bed and quickly put on some loose clothes before storming out of the assigned quarter she was sick and tired of being stucked in.

Within a few minutes Jyn found her way to the Captain’s room. She knew she would feel bad for not letting him sleep and burdening him with her sleepless nights, but he understood and that alone eased away the guilt. She knocked on the metallic door to let him know she was on the other side.

At Jyn’s insistence she’d come to his room, Cassian quickly put on some clothes other than what he slept in. He’d just finished fastening his pants when the knock on the door came. He pressed the panel and the door slid open, revealing the young woman. 

“Come on in,” he said, stepping out of the way so that she could enter his quarters. There wasn’t a lot of room--even a captain didn’t get a large living space, but it was better than barracks. He took the chair at the small workspace, and gestured for Jyn to sit on the bed.

After a moment, he cleared his throat. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

An apology

I’m sorry I poofed for a while there. This just sorta became an obsession of mine, and it was stressing me out. So I’m gonna try to come back and keep it as a hobby, which it should be. I won’t have the app on my phone so I don’t get notifications about new replies, I’ll just check once or twice a day. Hopefully that’ll keep me active without stressing me to the point where I don’t want to be here anymore.

[daughterofgalen]

[[I’m lurking if anyone needs me.]]

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

#please send hugs #i am not doing okay tonight

Everyone go send my bae love and care. She needs and deserves it. <3

[daughterofgalen]

;( ncthingtolcse )

Jyn had been suspicious of Cassian’s behaviour for a short while, wondering what it was he was trying to achieve or do with her - he was sneaking around and planning something, she didn’t know if she liked it or not. When their shipped jump out of hyperspace and she saw the familiar planet on the horizon, she decided she liked it (and him) a lot.

“The volcanoes are beautiful.” She agreed with a smile, remembering when she had gone on hikes with her parents - taking in the views with her mother and learning about the nature behind it all with her father; Lah’mu held some of the few happy memories she had from her parents and from her childhood.

“No, Cassian it’s… It’s perfect.” Jyn told him, looking over to him. “Thank you… Thank you for bringing me here. Where are you planning on landing us?”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

“I thought I’d ask you about that,” he answered, silently breathing a sigh of relief that she approved of the destination. “You know where the good viewing spots for the volcanoes are, after all.”

Ecstatic though he was that she was happy with the location, he was still extremely nervous. A picnic was just the tip of the iceberg of what he had planned, and he hoped it would all go well. He wasn’t exactly experienced with the whole “romantic gesture” thing, and hoped desperately that he was doing it right.

[daughterofgalen]

;( ncthingtolcse )

As he applied the bacta Jyn kept her eyes closed, her fists clenched by her sides and her teeth grinding against each other to keep it any more pain. It hurt, it hurt a lot, and she felt herself tearing up - without any adrenaline to keep her going she was more aware of each touch and the fire coursing through her veins. 

When his hands moved away to reach for the bandages she felt a breath of relief shake through her body, a shiver running down her spine as she allowed herself to relax now that the worst of it was over. When she met Cassian’s gaze she felt guilty for being so angry with him for caring, and it she wasn’t worried about reopening the wound again she might have held him in her arms and thanked him, but she hardly dared to move.

“Yes… Thank you.”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

Nodding his acknowledgment of her thanks, Cassian finished applying the bandage to the already-healing wound. Bacta was a wondrous tool. 

“Try not to move suddenly again,” he cautioned, voice gentle and, to his surprise, not scolding at all. “Do you need some painkiller?” He knew she had refused the painkiller at first, foolish as he thought it was, but he hoped she would accept it now, when she was clearly in more pain than ever.

He hated seeing her like this, injured and too proud to admit it until she did something rash and reopened the wound. A part of him wanted nothing more than to keep her safe, to protect her. Another part of him wondered why he cared so much. But mostly, he just wanted her to be happy, after such a rough life.

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

roguesergeant:

They probably wouldn’t, Jyn thought to herself almost giving up on any hope to find peace. All the pain and death she endured as an adult she could deal with, it sure did add up to the taunting dreams but she could bear with it. The distorted and blurred memories of what happened before were the ones she could not escape from. The more she hid in the imaginary counterpart to the hatch her father built for her in Lah'mu, the smaller and darker and less safe it got. 

❝I do.❞ Need you, she meant tacitly. Jyn admitted honestly, more honestly than she would have liked to admit.  ❝Are you tired now? It can wait but if you’re not gonna sleep we could hang out or something?❞

Well, Cassian wasn’t going to sleep now, not if Jyn needed him. “Of course,” he answered, “Where do you want to meet?”

Cassian wouldn’t admit it, even to himself, but a part of him liked the fact that Jyn needed him. Not that he wouldn’t prefer her to be trauma-free, of course, but if she had to go to someone for help, he was glad it was him. He wasn’t sure when the shift had occurred, from a commander being their for one of his crew to a friend being there for a friend. Maybe it had never been the former--after Scarif, well, there were some things one doesn’t survive without a bond forming. 

[daughterofgalen]

;( ncthingtolcse )

Jyn wanted to fight with him and send him away but the pain in her side was too much to ignore and too much to fight through. Obediently she remained completely still, whimpering slightly when his fingers grazed the skin around her bandages. It was all so sensitive and raw - like being shot all over again - and Jyn realised that Cassian was now going to see the true extent to her injuries.

They were bad, Jyn was sure that after being shot the wound had gotten infected, and it was deeper than she cared to admit to him. So much for telling him you’re okay, she thought to herself. But it was too late to stop him now and she was in too much pain even if she wanted to - though she hoped he wouldn’t comment as the last bandage was removed to reveal a large and deep wound in her side, most of it had stopped bleeding and had scabbed over to prevent any more blood being lost, though with the movement there was now a large tear down the middle that was bleeding badly. The skin around the wound was tender and swollen slightly with puss building up beneath the purple shade of skin.

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

Wincing every time Jyn whimpered in pain, Cassian gently finished removing the bandages--and swore under his breath as he realized the extent of the injury. He was no stranger to infected wounds, but this looked bad, even by his standards. He split open the bacta pack, gently spreading the warm goo over the open gash. Belatedly, he realized he probably should have been wearing gloves, or at least have washed his hands, but the wound was already infected, and he’d been in bed for weeks, not touching anything that would contaminate the wound further. His heart ached for Jyn, all anger gone and replaced fully with worry, and shame that he had provoked her into hurting herself further. 

As he finished applying the bacta and began applying fresh bandages, he met her eyes. “Does that feel any better?”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

Cassian wouldn’t tell Jyn where they were going, He’d merely told her to request leisure time on certain dates, and then when the date arrived, led her to his ship and taken off without a word, dodging all of Jyn’s attempts to find out where they were going.

When they came out of hyperspace and entered orbit around Lah’mu, Cassian suddenly became nervous. Yes, this had been Jyn’s home for many years, and it was a beautiful planet, but she had also seen her mother murdered here. Was this a good idea? Swallowing, Cassian turned to Jyn and offered a smile.

“I brought a picnic,” he explained. “I’ve heard the volcanoes here are spectacular, I hoped maybe we could see one. But if it’s too painful, we can go somewhere else...”

( @daughterofgalen )

[cassbodhi-archive-deactivated20]

happy 37th birthday, diego luna!

[daughterofgalen]

;( ncthingtolcse )

“Why do you care?” Jyn asked him, her voice quiet and calm - eerily so. She didn’t want to admit to herself that she liked him caring so she rolled over. It only lasted a second because with the roll she felt a sharp tear down her side and cried out in pain as excruciating as the orginal injury had been.

Jyn fell back onto the bed in her original position, face contorted with pain as she took deep breaths to calm herself and try and ignore the fact that she’d just reopened her wound. “Don’t say a word–” she panted, gritting her teeth. “I’m fine.”

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

Not that he would ever admit it, but Jyn’s words sent a stab of pain through Cassian’s heart. She didn’t want him to care about her. The problem was, Cassian wasn’t sure when he’d started caring so much, and wasn’t sure he could stop if he wanted to.

Before he could think of a suitable reply, she’d moved to roll over--and cried out in pain. Cassian winced as he saw the blood start to seep from the bandages around her midsection. As he looked around for a med droid, only to see they were all busy with other patients, he hissed, “You are not fine.” Getting up, he slowly made his way to the station where bacta packs were kept and grabbed one (as well as some clean bandages), then hobbled his way back to Jyn’s side.

Cassian had some field medic training--almost all the commanders in the Rebellion did. He couldn’t completely heal Jyn, but he could keep her stable until a med-droid was available. “Stay still,” he said in a gentle voice, gentler than he he expected, as he carefully unwrapped the soiled bandage. 

[ncthingtolcse-blog]

roguesergeant:

No would be her default answer. She didn’t mean to hide things from Cassian, if anyone in the galaxy would understand that was him. Jyn still found herself hesitant, curled up in her bed (the most comfortable she had slept in since she was a child, which says a lot about her living conditions). ❝I don’t know what to talk about.❞   She explained with honesty, sighing quietly to herself as if trying not to be heard over the commlink not to worry the man on the other end.    ❝Do you think they’ll ever stop? I wouldn’t mind sleeping for eight hours straight for once.❞ 

Cassian bit his lip. How to answer that question? He himself had nightmares about the atrocities he had committed in the name of the Rebellion, but Jyn’s were different. From what he’d gathered, hers were about things that had happened to her in the past--and she had been dealt a rough hand in life. Cassian dealt with his own demons by reminding himself of the greater good; Jyn had no greater good to justify the trauma in her past.

“I don’t know,” he finally answered honestly. “They may ease with time, they may not. But I’m always here, if you need me.”

[blvckflamingo]

reblog if it's okay to IM you

[garciagael-archive]

Diego Luna Appreciation Week → 28 December

The #1 Star Wars fanboy

[trasshrat-blog]

how do I type ugh. I’m getting so close to making so many typos. *rubs face* i only had one drink… psst: two parts vodka (i used whipped cream flavor) one parts butterscotch shanpps three parts cream soda add ice shake :) it tastes just like the theme park butterbeer!