Mix butter and water together at the gym
whoever you are stop trying to communicate with me
EXPECTATIONS

bliss lane
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
noise dept.
sheepfilms
The Stonewall Inn
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Noah Kahan
Color Me Curious
The Bowery Presents

oozey mess

blake kathryn

Andulka
RMH
Mike Driver

ellievsbear
One Nice Bug Per Day

Origami Around
almost home
seen from Iraq
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@nebvlosity
Mix butter and water together at the gym
whoever you are stop trying to communicate with me
nighttime was invented so you could unlock special emotions that make you feel better and worse at the same time
Nighttime is for smoking a goint with my dog
He likes when a smokem goint because we run around and chase each other
fuck yesss 👍
I have been so utterly transfixed by this phrase lately.
I find myself saying this out lout whenever I feel stumped by any conversation. Any time a conversation gets kinda stupid and people start saying unnecessary things I immediately have a strong compulsion to say "uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games"
the last time i used this blog i was about to graduate high school and now i'm doing my masters and that's fucked up
I just remembered that time that I woke up because I thought an alarm clock was going off but it was actually just the beeping from censoring Gordon Ramsay on Kitchen Nightmares and I found it so funny that I couldn’t even be mad about it waking me up.
i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.
anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”
it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.
i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.
whip cream
this is, by far, the most impactful imageset on this website
@5u5 mandatory tagging you in this post whenever i see it
Season 1 of cutthroat kitchen: “here’s a sabotage that lets you take away an opponents cheese” Current season of cutthroat kitchen: “see this Barbie dream house? You have to make all of your food in barbie’s kitchen, but if she catches you she’ll call the cops”
im so glad LFR is back
Hey, don’t yell at me if you’re hungry. You’re at the mercy of the machine now.
I really…fucking hate customer service.
Like…
Okay, as a lot of you know, I work overnights at a hotel. It’s for a pretty recognizable brand, so we get a lot of high paying customers.
Part of my job is to prep the breakfast area before the breakfast team shows up so that breakfast is done by the time it needs to be. This, of course, means that I have to step away from the desk. It doesn’t really help that the time I need to start working on breakfast is also when customers start checking out.
So I had the bright idea of making a sign. It’s not fancy, the letters are pretty big, and it basically just says “Hey if you need me I’m in the kitchen, just give a holler.”
It’s worked really well so far; people see it, they call for me, and I get them taken care of with little to no fuss. Or, at least, it’s worked up until now.
This guy.
This. Fucking. Guy.
I finish prepping the breakfast area, I walk out, and at the front desk is a man, huffing and puffing. He harshly asks “Are you working the front desk?”.
I say with my best customer service voice “Yes sir, I just had to prep a few things for the breakfast team. Can I help you with anything?”
“Yeah you can help me by giving me some fucking service. I’ve been waiting for almost five minutes and I have to catch my flight!”
Oh boy. Here we go.
So I tell the man, “Well, sir, if you’ll look right in front of you, if you needed me, that sign tells you that I was in the kitchen.”
And this man. Just. Fucking looks at me. And says.
“You expect me to fucking read on my day off?”
And I just.
I was floored. That someone would say that. Completely unironically. With no hesitation.
Just
Fucking customer service, man.
love is REAL
happy friday the 13th yall
I can’t believe I just had dream Squad Goals before my very eyes
Thanks Blizzard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yeah, you could say I’m a gamer
“Технически, я не ходил по столу”…
I’m gonna shit a brick.