Sitting on the wall

This blog is intended to be medicine. What we need to counter the oppression we face in the world as queer and trans folks. The messages we need to tell us that who we are is important, magnificent, and necessary. The title was inspired by this quote:  “In the end, I will sit on the wide, flat top of my wall, legs dangling over those big uncrackable stones, weathered smooth and clean. Sit with butch women, femme dykes, nellie men, studly fags, radical faeries, drag queens and kings, transsexual people who want nothing more than to be women and men, intersexed people, hermaphrodites with attitudes, transgendered, pangendered, bigendered, polygendered, ungendered, androgynous people of many varieties and trade stories long into the night. Laugh and cry and tell stories. Sad stories about bodies stolen, bodies no longer here. Enraging stories about false images, devastating lies, untold violence. Bold, brash stories about reclaiming our bodies and changing the world.” --Eli Clare “Stones in My Pocket, Stones in My Heart”, Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness and Liberation

[neededmedicine]

[yourpathsuggestions]

One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice – though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voice behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do – determined to save the only life that you could save.

Mary Oliver The Journey (via yourpathsuggestions)

[yourpathsuggestions]

you realize one day that you do not have to be perfect. It’s okay if you talk too much about one thing, or if you take up too much space or make too much noise. You’ve been told, either by yourself or others, that if everyone isn’t totally happy with you 100% of the time, you have done something Wrong. But it’s alright if your friends or family are sometimes annoyed by you! that’s perfectly healthy and normal. You get to voice your desires, and wants, and needs, even if they contradict someone else’s. You’ve been trying to squeeze into everyone else’s ideas of perfect for so long that you’ve lost sight of yourself. It’s okay. You don’t have to do that anymore. you stretch into your new skin, feeling the sun warm against your body. You are here.

[star-anise]

When I was younger and more abled, I was so fucking on board with the fantasy genre’s subversion of traditional femininity. We weren’t just fainting maidens locked up in towers; we could do anything men could do, be as strong or as physical or as violent. I got into western martial arts and learned to fight with a rapier, fell in love with the longsword.

But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.

As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.

The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork.  In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.

That can be so revolutionary to those of us stuck in our towers who fall prey to thinking: Nobody would want to visit; nobody would want to listen; nobody would want to stay.

[romanticmoonchild]

poc authors who write woc wlw characters (especially in adult books)?

[shiraglassman]

For Sizakele (my review) by Yvonne Fly Onakeme Etaghene - all-Black-woman love triangle. As MC’s relationship with her girlfriend gets increasingly complicated by both old and new traumas, she bonds with a new friend from Cameroon over their shared Africanness. MC is Nigerian-American and bi. Please heed TW’s in review.

Not Your Sidekick (my review) by @authorcblee - this one’s YA, though, sorry. MC’s parents are superheroes but MC’s powers never developed, so she accepts an internship–with their favorite adversary! MC is bi with a Chinese mom and Vietnamese dad, living in what used to be America (it’s futuristic sci-fi) and has a girlfriend by the end of the book.

Both these two have MC’s of the same sexuality & ethnicity as their authors.

More recs:

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi (my review) - Black lesbian MC stars in a sci-fi adventure about queer disabled women fighting Big Pharma in space (and by that I mean, the company that makes the meds is cheating people.) This one has polyamory in it as well as strong family relationships that are as important as the romance elements, and it does end with women in f/f relationships. The chronic illness representation is written from the inside.

Treasure by @rebekahweatherspoon (my review) - Black lesbian MC stars in contemporary romance about an overachiever coping with a collapse who falls for an exotic dancer she meets in one of her college classes. Weatherspoon also wrote At Her Feet, a kinky roleplay f/f romance novel starring a Jamaican/Korean MC and Latina love interest (my review.) 

Two of the short stories in Zen Cho’s Spirits Abroad (my review) have wlw MC’s; the whole book is excellent and worth reading–watch out, though, the eBook edition has more stories than the print one.

I guarantee happy endings from all the books in this post!

[anonforlackofabettername]

Can people please send me recommendations for something to watch/read with a cool asexual or Jewish main character. I’m just really craving representation right now since I’m in a foreign country and basically in the closet on both fronts. Fantasy or science fiction would be preferred but not necessary. Please nothing to do with the holocaust, my mental health would not be able to stand it. I just need something to take up my time and some representation would go a long way.

[shiraglassman]

My favorite Jewish MC recs right now are The Golem and the Jinni (character-driven fantasy set in the immigrant communities of 1900′s NYC), Miss Jacobson’s Journey (Regency spy romance with both Jewish hero and heroine), and The Vanisher Variations (also Regency; this one’s a mystery about a Jewish community trying to protect a Gentile woman from an unknown threat.) Sorry only one of these is SFF, but if you want more Jewish SFF, here’s a brief list of free SFF shorts with queer Jewish themes.

Actually, come to mention it, I have a lot more Jewish SFF recs that are graphic novels instead– @barrydeutsch writes graphic novels about a preteen girl who fights monsters in her Orthodox Jewish community (look for “Hereville” in your library or bookstore) and of course there’s The Rabbi’s Cat, which is dark and philosophical but also awesome.

If you’re looking for ace SFF, I’d definitely start with Chameleon Moon (a wonder drug gave everyone in the city superpowers, so the government put them under quarantine and now they’re fighting back) and Viral Airwaves (another “band of cool people resisting the government” story, this one with hot air balloons), both of which have ace authors, ace MC’s, and other MC’s in the LGBT umbrella. If you like the idea of early 19th century lesbians experimenting with magic rocks, check out The Mystic Marriage, because one of the MC’s is demisexual and it has a (straight) Jewish side character. Also, don’t miss @thewritingsquid‘s database of aro and ace rep in SFF, which might help you find more specific recs to your tastes.

janothar: Shira Glassman’s stuff is fantasy full of Jews

Yep! @anonforlackofabettername, if you’re specifically looking for the ace rep in my super Jewy fantasy fluff, here’s a post listing who all’s where in the ace family. I’d start with the short story “Rivka in Port Saltspray” in Tales from Perach, about a demisexual lady knight rescuing an aro ace damsel in distress, both Jewish.

[modernluigi-deactivated20200204]

To all the trans kids

Even as the world continues to take steps backward, never forget how far you’ve come. Imagine what you can accomplish tomorrow. Rebel with every morning you wake up alive. Cry, scream, question why, but don’t give up.

You are loved and worth fighting for.

[tgstonebutch]

Reviews of trans and/or non-binary lit by trans and/or non-binary reviewers

Reviews of trans and/or non-binary lit by trans and/or non-binary reviewers

This week, I got two separate requests by cis reviewers for trans and/or non-binary reviews of trans and/or non-binary literature. They wanted to link to the review in their own review. This may be due to this wonderful essay about writing reviews of trans and/or non-binary books for cis reviewers, which suggests that cis reviewers read and consider trans and/or non-binary reviews. These requests…

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[quietya]

Books with Asexual Main Characters

Hello! Your local mod here. A few months ago, I spent a lot of time researching books with asexual main characters and made a list of YA books with explicit rep. While making the list, I found lots of books that didn’t fit my requirements and had lots of requests to know what other books I found. I linked people to sources I used, but none 100% matched and there are at least four books that could be added. So I wanted something that had a wide range, could be updated, and could be shared easily. Hence, even though it doesn’t fully fit this blog, it’s going here!

This is a list of books in all age ranges. Some of the books have explicit representation - using the words or giving the definition without using the word - and some don’t. Some of them could be considered problematic. If you want more details on any of the books, feel free to message me privately. I’ll also be linking to the goodreads page for each book [links tk], so you can check reviews for feedback (it can be tricky, but see what shelves people add it too). I’ll also link my sources at the end of this post in case they update with things I don’t catch or they have details I didn’t include. And, as a final note, sometimes the asexual main characters aren’t main characters until later in a book series. In those cases, I’ll link to the first book and leave a note about which book has the main character.

YA Books

This Song is (Not) for You by Laura Nowlin

Ultraviolet by R.J. Anderson (Ace character is a side character in book one, main character in sequel)**

Sabriel by Garth Nix (Ace MC in Clariel)

Seven Ways We Lie by Riley Redgate

Deadly Sweet Lies by Erica Cameron** [#ownvoices]

Taken by Chance by Erica Cameron and Lani Woodland (Demisexual side character, confirmed in book 3, MC in book 4)** [#ownvoices]

The Beast of Callaire by Saruuh Kelsey

The Second Mango by Shira Glassman

We Awaken by Calista Lynne**

Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld

The Clinic by Charlie Care

After I Wake by Emma Griffiths

Stranger by Rachel Manija Brown and Sherwood Smith

The Last Chronomancer by Reilyn J. Hardy

A Word and a Bullet by Rachel Sharp** [#ownvoices]

Sea Foam and Silence by Lynn E. O’Connacht [#ownvoices]

Feather by Feather and Other Stories by Lynn E. O’Connacht [#ownvoices]

New Adult Books

All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher**

The Life and Death of Eli and Jay by Francis Gideon

Fourth World by Lyssa Chiravari** [#ownvoices]

From Under the Mountain by Cait Spivey [#ownvoices]

How Not to Summon Your True Love by Sasha L. Miller

Carrie Pilby by Caren Lissner

Crush by Caitlin Ricci

Endless Days of Summer by Stacy O’Steen

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic

Coffee Cake by Michaela Grey

Into the Blue by Pene Henson

Bone Diggers by Tiffany Rose & Alex Tauber** [#ownvoices]

Adult Books

The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon

The Sheepfarmer’s Daughter by Elizabeth Moon

Dreams of Shreds and Tatters by Amanda Downum

The Oathbound by Mercedes Lackey

Banner of the Damned by Sherwood Smith**

How to Be a Normal Person by TJ Klune** [#ownvoices]

Rescuing Jack by Caitlin Ricci (Asexual MC in sequel, Of Monsters and Men)

Torque by Charley Descoteaux

Blue Steel Chain by Alex Beecroft

Blood and Clockwork by Katey Hawthorne

Breakfire’s Glass by A.M. Valenza

Flesh and Fire by Laura Ann Gilman

The Heart of Aces (anthology)**

The Bone People by Keri Hulme [#ownvoices]

City of Soldiers by Sam Burke**

Sere From the Green by Lauren Jankowski [#ownvoices]

Sinners by Eka Waterfield

Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver [#ownvoices]

Mindtouch by M.C.A. Hogarth

The Pardoner’s Tale by Morgan Ferdinand

Dragonoak by Sam Farren

Dust by Elizabeth Bear**

A Date with Angel by J. Judkins

The Mystic Marriage by Heather Rose Jones

The Deadly Nightshade by Justine Ashford

More Than Enough by T.T. Kove

Shock and Awe by Abigail Roux (Demisexual MC comes out in book 3, Part and Parcel)**

A Gentleman’s Position by K.J. Charles

Aces by Kathryn Burns

The King’s Peace by Jo Walton

A Promise Broken by Lynn E. O’Connacht [#ownvoices]

Novellas

As Autumn Leaves by Kate Sands**

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire** [#ownvoices]

To Terminator With Love by Wes Kennedy [#ownvoices]

Ely, Jesse, and Robin’s Guide to Asexuality by R.J. Seeley**

The Asexual Equation by R.J. Seeley**

Cold Ennaline by R.J. Astruc**

The Alpha and His Ace by Ana J. Phoenix**

The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz

The Faerie Godmother’s Apprentice Wore Green by Nicky Kyle [#ownvoices]

At the Edge by Alden Lila Reedy

We Go Forward by Alison Evans

Sing to Me by Becca Lusher

High and Tight by Vanessa North

The Galloway Road by Catherine Adams

Texture Like Sun by Ils Greyhart

Accepting Me by Jo Ramsey**

Upcoming YA Books

27 Hours by Tristina Wright

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee**

Daughter of the Burning City by Amanda Foody

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann**

Assassins: Discord by Erica Cameron (Ace MC in book 2) [#ownvoices]

Interface by Lucy Mihajlich

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman (released already in the UK)**

Running with the Pack by A.M. Burns and Caitlin Ricci

Upcoming New Adult Books

Overexposed by Megan Erickson

Daybreak Rising by Kiran Oliver [#ownvoices]

Empty Net by Avon Gale

Upcoming Adult Books

Hello World by Tiffany Rose and Alex Tauber [#ownvoices]

Resources

https://lgbtqreads.com/

https://justloveromance.wordpress.com

http://fuckyeahasexual.tumblr.com/post/140769292653/actually-asexual-in-fiction-30-i-get-a-lot-of

http://aroaessidhe.tumblr.com/aroacebooks

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/96867.Books_With_Asexual_Spectrum_F_F_Romances

As I said, this will be a continuously updated list. I’ll be adding in goodreads links now that the list is up (as long as tumblr allows), adding books that come up, and can move/remove books if anybody thinks they don’t fit, since most of this was research, not my actual reading list. So, feel free to message me with any comments or concerns and otherwise, enjoy!

Update #1: Links added; Running with the Pack, High and Tight, and More Than Enough added; Shock and Awe moved.

Update #2: A Gentleman’s Position, Aces, Into the Blue, The Last Chronomancer, Empty Net, The King’s Peace, The Galloway Road, A Word and a Bullet added.

Update #3: Sea Foam and Silence, A Promise Broken, Feather by Feather and Other Stories, and Texture Like Sun added.

Update #4: I marked books I was fairly sure explicitly used words with **; I added [#ownvoices] to books with out ace/aro authors (and the ownvoices only speaks to them being ace, writing an ace character); Bone Diggers and Accepting Me added.

[lgbtqreads]

Know any good books with gay/bi/pan/generally male attracted trans men? Thank you in advance! (Also total plus if the plot isn't ABOUT them being trans if you know what I mean!!!)

Most requested Ask strikes again! Which is to say, yes! (Some of these are m/m and some of them are m/nb. I’ve only read Coffee Boy so far, which very much fits exactly what you’re looking for.)

A Boy Called Cin by Cecil Wilde

What it Looks Like by Matthew J. Metzger 

Spy Stuff by Matthew Metzger (YA)

The Burnt Toast B&B by Heidi Belleau and Rachel Haimowitz 

A Matter of Disagreement by E.E. Ottoman 

Documenting Light by EE Ottoman

Coffee Boy by Austin Chant

Peter Darling by Austin Chant

[tgstonebutch]

I would add Defying Convention by Cecile Wilde (trans m/nb romance).

And if you are interested in erotica shorts, my collection Show Yourself To Me has tons of stories about queer trans men.

Also, if you are interested in nonfic, Transposes by Dylan Edwards is 6 illustrated stories about queer trans men.

[bufotoxin-blog-deactivated20221]

whispers “non-romantic relationships aren’t inferior” into the howling abyss

[hiranyaksha-deactivated20220613]

Someone on twitter wanted me to give my mermaid a naga girlfriend, so I did !!!

[detectivechmilewsky]

Bunch of neat little comics from the gallery called ‘Minority Monsters’. Check it out here: http://www.discordcomics.com/minoritymonsters/

[threvlin]

I… I can’t tell which is my favorite!

[cuntext]

AHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEE YESSSSSS

[juliosalgado83]

cos ain’t nobody got time to be saved

[fuckyeahasexual]

“The reality is that language is a critical tool with which to smash the cis-het patriarchy.”  - @teenvogue​

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Reminder that demisexual/demiromantic and gray-asexual/gray-aromantic can be full identities all on their own.✿✿✿

[tgstonebutch]