TW: ED Blog

[Vesper] [18 y/o] [mirror pronouns] [active September 2023]

[needstostopbinging]

About Me

click read more for stats

Tw: weights, caloric restriction

Hey. My names Vesper. I'm 18 and use any pronouns.

I'm a high school senior.

I've had body issues for longer than I remember, but never really did anything about it. For YEARS, I used to come on here without an account to browse thinspo and fantasize about starving myself, but never acted on it. That is, until summer of 2021. I started restricting calories with the goal of it developing into an eating disorder. I know that's stupid, but whatever.

DNI:

Anyone under 15 (even that's pushing it tbh. I'm sorry but I just don't feel comfortable surrounded by young people)

Non-ed blogs

"Ana Coaches"

Kink/Porn blogs (nothing aginst y'all but I AM a minor soo)

Homophobes

Transphobes

Racist

"MAPs" (pedos)

5'6.5

Sw: 198.6lbs

Hw: 218lbs

Lw: 168lbs

Cw: 202.2lbs

cgw: 180lbs by Halloween

gw2: 160lbs by new years

ugw: 87lbs

[needstostopbinging]

"recovering" (binge eating + regular overeating and telling myself it's ok) is nice and all but now i have to re-lose from a higher weight than my sw....

[needstostopbinging]

i should've realized i was gonna be fucked when i first got into all this with the intention of looking sick. I don't want to be pretty skinny, i want to look dead.

[heisunderwater-deactivated20240]

i hate when anyone is in the kitchen bc i cant exactly start weighing things out while they sit like 🤨🤨

[heisunderwater-deactivated20240]

i feel like a proper creep when i catch myself looking at someone bc they’re thin.. like i’m not trying to ogle them i’m just envious

[stitchywitchymermaid]

[needstostopbinging]

guyssss i wanna be edblr relevant again (that's delulu. i just want the like 20 notes I'd get back) but I've been offline and no longer know what horrific encrypted tags we're using

[urlocalmentallyunstablegal]

honestly it’s unbelieve i’m about to be a medical student. kind of ironic considering that my go-to coping mechanism is to starve😭

[needstostopbinging]

me but with psychology 💀

[urfaveskinnybitch]

i post all this shit on edblr then remember that digital footprints are a thing

[needstostopbinging]

i miss my junkorexic era but now i want to count protein and go to the gym and shit. It's nice because i realized i want some muscle plus lean mass = better metabolism but i miss having a chocolate bar as an omad and losing 2 pounds a day.

[needstostopbinging]

i miss being as sick as i was at the peek of this account. I miss being under 200lbs. I miss interacting with everyone here.

Well. I'm back.

[starlit-spiral]

New account, same old shit! Hope I can get back in touch with moots and be more active here. <3

[needstostopbinging]

it's official!! Moving to this account! Hope to refind you guys there

[needstostopbinging]

Ik I said I'd be more active here, but the massive influx of bots following me kinda freaks me out. I might move to a new account and start over. If I do that, I'll make sure to reblog that for mutuals who might want to follow me still

[sunflower0108]

“no but why don’t you track sugar free gum if it’s around 3 calories per-“ because if i did i’d kill myself

[ros3blo0d]

My body is so fucking self centered, like we get you're hungry now stfu 🙄

[needstostopbinging]

I don't remember the password or email for my "backup account" and I really don't feel like making a name one so I guess I'm staying here

[needstostopbinging]

Hey, sorry for letting this account kinda die. I honestly might try to start a new blog because I don't think people see my posts anyway

[needstostopbinging]

I always invalidate my mental illness but then I remember that I actively desire to be worse and not better and that's just not a mentally stable mentality