Doesn't want to be found

[fleur-aesthetic]

instagram | gulshanlondon

[nehilistuniverse]

Those lavender type flowers though I think the tree's name starts with a w

[lilmajorshawty]

What do you think about lilith overlay? Is that a thing? I tried searching about it but nothing came up :( would you tell me about lilith overlay in synastry? (I always wanted to tell you how amazing your posts are, i really admire you. Thank you for doing this ♥️)

Awe thank you sweetie love you!

And Lilith overlays:

Lilith in the 1st house overlay: Primal feelings for one another, you feel enticed and even more aware of your body in the presence of one another-the Lilith person is deeply enthralled by the sight of the house person and vice versa! There can be an added dose of instinctual and lustful sexuality for the two involved. Sex is often aggressive and intense. Domination can be a running gag as one of you may try to be in charge as a means to establish a sort of status quo or grounding to the attraction but for the most part it points to a very in your face sort of feeling of intensity.

Lilith in the 2nd house overlay:As you’d imagine sensuality and physical touch is the focal point! You love to be physical with one another, be it cuddling or long kisses-the passion generated here can be geared to security and both parties can feel like they are out of the cold when they’re not around each other! Since this is Lilith, possessiveness runs wild and rampant here! Loyalty is absolutely mandatory and both of you can easily sniff out dishonesty. Total devotion and sexual fidelity is important here and sex is very loving and slow Bruin. For the most part long sessions are seen here and you guys cannot have enough of each other in and out of the bedroom.

Lilith in the 3rd house overlay: Dirty talk and sexting even if it’s not something you’d normally indulge in is normal here! Both partners can be turned on by just communicating and can easily become very reckless with one another! The need to play mental games, and cat and mouse with one another is common ground here! This can be a couple that brakes up and makes up over and over again like ring around the rosey. There can be a huge appetite for oral and fallacio here! Sex can be versatile and very handsy. Both parties can grow clingy here.

Lilith in the 4th house overlay: Emotions run like a moving train here, these two don’t play games at all lmao. Sex is lead up to and usually involves eye contact and hugging lots of it. The two of them have a very nurturing and protective energy and can easily get swept up in one another, that being said the Lilith person can often switch their emotions on and or off and gaslight the house person unknowingly in some cases while the house person can resort to emotional and mental abuse to establish some sort of security. There is a lot of love here but sometimes it can be suffocating if both parties aren’t emotionally mature. Sex can be INTENSE, it can literally feel like death over and over and over again.

Lilith in the 5th house overlay: Man—this placement can mean that these two cannot stay away from one another, there is an authentic and dynamic level of love and romance that exist here but it’s kinda kookie aha. They love each other but it comes out in crazy ways, that of the dramatic variety especially since this is Leo’s house. They can be very energetic and vibrant with one another but behind closed doors they can have an insatiable appetite for each other that if not tempered could border on obsession and addiction. They live for the drama and the sex is almost like a rush, the give each other so much life but sometimes it can be too much! So practicing self control is big here.

Lilith in the 6th house overlay: This can cause a “perfection” theme here! Neither of the people involved feel like they’re good enough for the other which can lead to a lot of nervous, jittery energy around one another. Over time this tension decreases but the more they develop feelings and the more they have sex the more and more they will strive to be their idea of “perfect” for the other. Anal sex is common here and respectively this can show inequality themes during sex where on or the other partner is in charge while the other is submissive. Very sensual sexuality and a very deep need to physically touch and be on one another! Actually really cute and a lot of cuddles.

Lilith in the 7th house overlay: This can be a very passionate link up! The two identify with the darkness in one another and are completely floored by one another. They can easily fit into one another’s life and compliment the missing sides that they’re missing. Sexually they are almost made for each other and have a very passionate and intimate sex life! That being said chaos and tension can exist from time to time since this is the house of union and Lilith isn’t a huge fan of traditional unions so this can show an argumentative nature in the union when sex is lacking and can also show that you both may project the darkness of the other unknowingly into the relationship.

Lilith in the 8th house overlay: Lilith is at home here so this usually plays out as a karmic and deep chemistry between two people! You find each other sexy and deeply mysterious even a bit of an enigma! The house person feels at the whim of Lilith but Lilith feels lost at the hands of the house person! There is an equal give and take of passion here and a lot of promised security. That being said obsessiveness and even controlling tendencies on behalf of both parties is to be looked out for especially since things can get quite out of hand in this house.

Lilith in the 9th house overlay: A huge appetite for one another can exist here due to the nature of this house! You both can find that you’ve either met whilst away from home or share vastly different backgrounds! The sexual energy can be very pronounced especially when vacationing or out in the wilderness. There is a very free and youthful energy about this connection and both of you can feel In the clouds when together albeit lacking in restraint. The sex is often bountiful and fun! It can easily be come over indulged though so once more practice a bit of restraint from time to time.

Lilith in the 10th house overlay: There is a pronounced earthiness here but a very somber and even heavy energy. The intimacy here is very serious but reliable! The display of sexual desire is often very aloof and cold but deeply secure and even tender in some ways. There is still a emotional side to this but often in brief displays here in there. Both parties can feel the need to hide pieces of themselves from the other in the beginning as to shield themselves of the connection but once they surrender they’ll open there world to a deep and depth filled romance! Sex is often domination themed and extremely erotic.

Lilith in the 11th house overlay: There is often a wild theme here, the energies flow disharmoniously like an overflowing electric current. Both parties can be magnetically drawn to each other but partake in a game of tag your it as far as intimacy goes! It can seem like they’re endlessly provoking one another and getting of on the idea that they can’t immediately satisfy those desires. The whole thing is like a game, yet there is a lot of sexual respect and freedom here where both are open to whatever the desires of the other are! Sexually they’re like kids in a laboratory! They endlessly explore one another’s bodies never tiring.

Lilith in the 12th house overlay: There is a spiritual intertwine here, like two endlessly dancing fishes gently buzzing noses as they twist and squirm across the cool sea. These two have dreams about each other a lot and may even fantasize about fucking a million times before it ever happens! Truth is they’ve met before in another life and carried that intense sexual chemistry over into this life. They crave each other indefinitely but may always feel like the other is out of reach! It’s long wait but it always seems to fade away into nothing the moment they’re in bed.

Hope this helps love!

[your-astro-mami]

The harsh aspects of Lilith in Synastry

Lilith-Sun: Clash between egos and principles. Lilith may be jealous of the way the Sun person is perceived by others, their character. There could be themes of obsession and possessiveness over the Sun person. Major differences which may attract, but also be destructive in a relationship.

Lilith-Moon: There may be a lot of emotional games. Lilith may play with the Moon person's emotions, they will want their attachment without giving anything in return. They will feel an unexplainable passion for each other.

Lilith-Mercury: Mind games. Mercury may be intrigued by Lilith and will try very hard to understand them, why they are the way they are. Manipulation may be hard to achieve here because Mercury is rational, focused and realistic. They don't have expectations from Lilith, they want explanation.

Lilith-Venus: There could be strong romantic attraction. Venus may want to tame Lilith, get them to commit into a relationship, but they won't be able to, at least for the long-term. They may have doubts about them but they will blinded by love, passion and attraction.

Lilith-Mars: Possibly the aspect which shows the strongest amount of passion. You won't be able to catch them, to get them to do what you want. Lilith is independent and Mars is the active chaser who will try to keep up with her, but won't be able to, they may never be on the same page, but when they are they will try to give their all and focus on the moment, appreciate it fully.The relationship may be based on physical attraction, but they will be a person you won't be able to forget for a while. Strong chemistry and sexual compability. It may be a sign of abuse in certain situations, if the Mars person is provoked and unable to control their anger.

Lilith-Pluto: Unlike Mars, who wants to chase, sees the relationship as a challenge which they want to win and move on, Pluto involves their emotions, obsession and need for control. They want to possess Lilith, to have power over her, but will hardly be able to. Lilith is a great challenge, she brings out the spark, the deep passion and emotion inside them. They may be excited of the thought of obtaining someone who is so uncontrollable, so wild and individualistic. They are attracted to her darkness, to her own unwillingness to change.

Lilith-Neptune: If red flag was an aspect. Lilith may take advantage of Neptune's sensitivity and naive nature. In this situation, Neptune may be easy to manipulate. They may be a puppy that would follow Lilith around, ignoring anything she does as long as she is around. Deceit, manipulation, Neptune will live in the world Lilith creates in their head.

Lilith-Uranus: The "unhinged" aspect. Two people who are out of control, seek their independence, can hardly compromise and are not willing to change anything about them. At certain times, it may feel like a competition who can get the other out of control better.

Lilith-Juno: The impossible commitment, both people have different values. The "madonna-whore" complex. Juno may view Lilith as someone they wouldn't want to commit to or will want to but won't be able to.

Lilith-Chiron: Two people who may trigger each other's past pain and experiences, trigger each other's weaknesses. There can be lack of trust, a fear of the other person and how they may take advantage of the information you've shared to them.

Lilith-Jupiter: Putting each other's ego's down, lack of fulfilment. Jupiter may force their lessons on Lilith and feel rejected when they don't accept them.

Lilith-Saturn: A strict parent and a wild teenager dynamic. Saturn will force control on Lilith, have expectations that won't be met or even considered by them.

[moonseyeastrology]

Lilith conjunct IC synastry

[nehilistuniverse]

O-O I am the lilith in someone's house me don't want kids ;_; let alone a love child BC what the fuck ;_; I am a child.

[astrolocherry]

Unresolved Conditions  Karmic and past life energy 

Aries energy (Sun/Moon) separation and attachment issues, affliction, unresolved emotional trauma occurring with physical wounds, frustration and anger toward older people, constant preparation for threat  Residual Aries karmic energy can be found in Mars-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 1st house, Mars in the 12th house

Taurus energy (Sun/Moon) consumption, starvation, hoarding, self depreciation, issues with weight, undeserving, trapped, unwilling, dissatisfaction, issues with the body, inability to calm or self soothe  Residual Taurus karmic energy can also be found in Venus-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 2nd house, Venus in the 12th house 

Gemini energy (Sun/Moon) crisis of cognitive dissonance, mental overload and/or paralysis, lack of productivity or focus, dishonesty, unstable, incapable of regulating or slowing the mind, unwillingness to accept new ideas Residual Gemini karmic energy can also be found in Mercury-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 3rd house, Mercury in the 12th house 

Cancer energy (Sun/Moon) intense and volatile relationships with family members, issues with the mother, closed off and disengaged inner experience, debilitating and controlling moods, disproportionate fears of separation  Residual Cancer karmic energy can also be found in Moon-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 4th house, Moon in the 12th house

Leo energy (Sun/Moon) lack of vitality, feels undeserving, senses rejection when it has not occurred, compulsive need for validation and recognition, intense fears regarding being left, unstable and labile self image, inhibition of self and creative expression Residual Leo karmic energy can be found in Sun-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 1st, and Sun in the 12th house

Virgo energy (Sun/Moon) self depreciation, unrealistic expectation, routine burn out and sickness, self destruction, self punishment, mental overload and/or paralysis, martyrdom, nervous issues Residual Virgo karmic energy can be found in Mercury-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 6th house, Mercury in the 12th house 

Libra energy (Sun/Moon) inability to sustain feelings- substance-and identity without the presence of people, extreme lack of focus, responding to ideals rather than reality, the fear of separation, refusal to assert ones self in high risk and potentially serious circumstances  Residual Libra karmic energy can be found in Venus-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 7th house, Scorpio descending, Venus in the 12th house

Scorpio energy (Sun/Moon) complete seclusion, paranoid distrust, exaggerated suspicious, fears about persecution, extreme exhaustion, particularly wounding and volatile with loved ones, controlling, unrelenting, compulsive  Residual Scorpio karmic energy can be found in Pluto in the 8th, Scorpio descending, Pluto in the 12th, Pluto in Scorpio, Pluto in the 12th house 

Sagittarius energy (Sun/Moon) occluded vision for the future, lack of goals or motivation for, inability to move or feel comfortable, over consumption, over eating, over spending, over intoxicating. controlling  Residual Sagittrius karmic energy can be found in Jupiter-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 9th house, Jupiter in the 12th house 

Capricorn energy (Sun/Moon) procrastinates and lacks progress, self depreciating, miserable, aching bones and skin reactions, remorse over lost childhood, feelings of separation from father or male authority figures, obsessed with their mortality  Residual Capricorn karmic energy can be found in Saturn-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 10th house, Saturn in the 12th house, Saturn on the descendant 

Aquarius energy (Sun/Moon) self imposed exile, mental chaos and uncontrollable experiences, mass feelings of resentment against everybody, sterility and social coldness, social hesitation, lethargy when applying mind   Residual Aquarius karmic energy can be found in Uranus-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 11th house, Pluto in the 10th house, Uranus in the 12th house 

Pisces energy (Sun/Moon) complete inability to determine ideal from reality, spiritual or religiously feverish, mentally confused and scattered, disorganised, inability to handle reality and social encounters, impossible to wake or impossible to fall to sleep Residual Pisces karmic energy can be found in Neptune-Pluto contacts, Pluto in the 12th, Pluto in the 9th house, Neptune in the 12th house

-C.

[astrolocherry]

12th house and past lives

If you have no planets in the 12th house and are unsure of the house cusp, calculate the sign before your own ascending sign. For example, if you have Leo rising you have Cancer on the 12th house cusp. If you have Capricorn rising, you have Sagittarius on the 12th house cusp 

Sun in the 12th house/Leo on the 12th house cusp: The remnants of social importance from previous lifetimes activate through the spirit, there is a constant pressure to feel understood and gain acceptance, there is a spiritual purpose that in this lifetime is not recognised as they once were. In the past life the individual could have been a social representative, sovereignty, leader, artist, or public figure

Moon in the 12th house/Cancer on the 12th house cusp: The family dynamics and karma from ancestors is passed through to the individual such as past traumas, addictions, spiritual abuse. The individual made a lot of sacrifices, and the natural maternity can be astounding, they give form to the term ‘natural mother’, or ‘natural father’. The individual may have been a devoted parent, crone, witch, nurse, or work with women in the community 

Mercury in the 12th house/Gemini or Virgo on the 12th house cusp: Thoughts from previous lifetimes make entrance so the individual can feel as though their mindset is trapped in another time. They can experience strange visuals or flashes with no origin. The individual may be a brilliant automatic writer or channeller because the memories of past life studies are so fresh. In past lives Gemini 12th house may have been a teacher, academic, messenger, writer. Virgo 12th house may have been a calligrapher, healer, pharmacist, nurse, witch. Virgo 12th house may carry on sicknesses from past lives that must be dealt with consciously 

Venus in the 12th house/Taurus or Libra on the 12th house cusp: The individual was a figure of beauty in previous lifetimes, likely revered for their artistry, femininity, and vision. There may have been abundant finances that are not so available in this lifetime, so the individual is used to a lavish life and may accumulate as though this is still so. Libra in the 12th inherits relationship dynamics and trauma from previous lifetimes, there is lingering heartbreak that needs to be healed

Mars in the 12th house/Aries on the 12th house cusp: The individual was forced to constantly fight for their life previously, so the survival dynamics can still subtly activate themselves, there can be unfounded fears about the world and inherited reactivity to danger. The spirit is used to danger, and it needs to be soothed in this lifetime. There may be troubles with men due to abuses in the past life 

Jupiter in the 12th house/Sagittarius on the 12th house cusp: The individual can access tremendous knowledge and wisdom through the portal of the higher mind because this was studied intently previously. The individual was likely a scholar, philosopher, or spiritualist. Because of the divine intimacy that was attained, the individual has inherited an intrinsic belief in the good powers of God and feels secretly protected. The abstract mind had been previously cultivated 

Saturn in the 12th house/Capricorn on the 12th house cusp: The guilt of the unfinished work in previous lifetimes is haunting, the individual feels they have inherited an intense responsibility that they are not ready for. Karmic family dynamics have been inherited that relate to the father, this relationship can be highly pressured or non existent 

Uranus in the 12th house/Aquarius on the 12th house cusp: Intuition and the ability to respond to this has been primed and cultivated in previous lifetimes meaning the individual is open to the flow of profound and developed intuitive wisdom that seems to come from nothing. There is natural spiritual knowledge that has not been consciously learned. In previous lifetimes the individual may have been a social outcast or reject, they may have been prosecuted for their progressive vision or knowledge. They may have been an astronomer, astrologer, occultist, scientist, academic, revolutionary 

Neptune in the 12th house/Pisces on the 12th house cusp: Dreams, visions, addictions, and sicknesses from past lives live through the individual they may be at hostage to previously cultivated psychic activity and psychological escapism. There is generous karma to relinquish, the individual may have been a mystic or mentally unwell. They have naturally adapted to the dreamlike state of reality 

Pluto in the 12th house/Scorpio on the 12th house cusp: This is a lifetime of constant, painful, and severe transformation in order to completely abolish and perish the demons that have been accumulated in previous lifetimes. The individual was a force of goodness and powerful societal change, in this lifetime they are offered the rectitude of focusing on themselves and reconciling the light and shadow

-C.

[nehilistuniverse]

Sky is blue

Night is young

A paradoxical monotone

Surrounding us

We play and fight

You always win

It's almost a taunt

Whenever you do

Because how dare you

Play around so much

Lie and make fun

Of all the things I do

You abuse me in every single way possible

Yet I can't quit you

It's almost like I can't lose you

But you would the second you got a chance

And like a fool I kept on hanging to the very last strand

Of hope I had

How can someone mean so much to you

And you mean nothing at all

Always leaves me astonished

I always go for the one's who would leave

Maybe I love the pain

It's almost like I am addicted

To being left behind

It's a theme now

I keep holding on too tight

Each and everytime

No matter who it's

Afraid they will leave

Like everyone else

I cling on too tight everytime

Suffocating others

Maybe that's why I get abandoned so often

It's almost like I demand to be liked by every person I ever like

That way I keep recreating the pain

With every second person I ever meet

~Nehilist

✨I have issues✨

[nehilistuniverse]

My addiction to dance fucking kicks right at the time I am supposed to sleep. Fucking bitch the fact I can go on for like hours and dance the whole night and then self sabotage tabhi neend nahi naseeb hotti because meri habit hi ittni fucked hai

[missusruin]

Set with just the animated ones at full size.

[alluring-alexx]

i fucking love these

[gothwiccan-blog]

Gorgeous!

[anxietyproblem]

[hi-im-goatee]

Me but irl

[silly-jellyghoty]

How about "k"

[ronan-tmi]

Oh god, I feel all of these, and feel bad for using them sometimes xD

[nehilistuniverse]

I was 10 when I had met him for the first time

He said hey there you look nice

Let me befriend you

And I took his hand and we escaped into a lala land

I realised he was abusive but didn't know how to escape

And then I took his hand and started to dance

Slowly I slipped away from his grip

But once he realised

He grabbed on to me too tight

I was 13 back then

Wanted to go back to when I was 9

When everything was just fine

When I was naive

I knew things yet I knew nothing

I started to cry

Cried on the staircase while hiding from everyone

I even lied when I got caught

That I am crying because my mood is off

But his grips were getting tighter on my hand

I started scratching his hand that was on mine

But it left scars

I did feel his grip getting looser from time to time

But yet again he would realise

Then the grip became tighter than what it was last time

As I grew older I stopped fighting

I instead became his friend

We grew to trust eachother

When I heard his stories and he heard mine

I realised

He isn't a separate entity

He is me

How can I ever run away from my dark side

My shadow

I befriended him

To only realise he is forever mine

I just was too blind to not understand it back then

And now that I understand

I feel so lost how did I not see

I was trying to run away from me

~Nehilist ;-;

(Lapaad pdey gai if somebody steals it 😤)

[nehilistuniverse]

Imma pull a naruto and make math my bitch

Me who has mathphobia 

[nehilistuniverse]

I see tumblr has changed a lot in terms of the teen friendly content dayumnnnn I liked it better when the content was more raunchy because at least it was classy in a way? Now it's I dunno. Just plain weird.

[nehilistuniverse]

I am genuinely so weirded out. Why the fuck is my rising sag in vedic? Doesn't that mean capricorn? Why does my sag rising in tropical has a capricorn quality and why is it the same with my moon though my moon is vishakha but it's on the scorpio side and isn't that side supposed to be sag? Why is my chart so misleading? o_O also why is my cancer the only most appropriate part of the chart? Bro the fuck? So basically My life path is Capricorn? But because of some degree it's saggititties? Boi oh boi. I am in pain. I wish I could sell something of so much value ki royalty pe sirf jeyun 😩✌ km hi khattam. Though how lucky one must be to see themselves be a big ass writer while they are still alive. I wonder how it must be. I will write something one day for sure. Once I actually start living though because I want to be realistic and be inspired by everything I will get to see. I want to live a happier life. A less humiliating one ;-;

[nehilistuniverse]

A cry for help perhaps?

The world is a beautiful magical place

And it’s fine if some things aren’t mine

Maybe that’s how it was supposed to be

I am at peace with me

My guilt is no longer killing me

And I am not afraid of what I might have to say

Because I have seen the deepness that lies within all of us

This is a love song to me and mine sanity

I am telling me it all will be fine

One day things that are meant to be mine

Will meet me

On the cross road of my life

It won’t run away or disappear

It won’t blink an eye and would say everything will be fine

The thing we have between us is neither yours nor mine 

It’s something we share

A smile

Showing that we care

It will be with a human or a dog

But one day it will be

The things that are mine

And there for me will stay

Another day

Or in another life maybe

[nehilistuniverse]

I once met a wolf wearing grandma's suit

Decided to befriend the old granny

But who knew what kind of a mistake I was making

The wolf had been on my trail for months

How could I have ever known

For me she was a grandma

So I showed her my scars

We talked a lot

I adored her the most

It went on for months

But something in me always knew

Something is off she doesn't sound like your usual grandma at all

So I decided to go on her trail

I saw her remove her suit by mistake

I ran away

But still shouted asking questions I knew I would never get an answer to

But who knew something you loved could hurt you so much

Not once did the wolf decide it owed me the truth

Yet treated me like I was the crook

An ever repeating story in my life

I am a little red riding hood lost in the woods

Trusting ever wolf that I ever could

Befriending them all and unmasking them

It's an ever repeating tale

But how I had liked this particular wolf

[coldbujo]

the moon holds the light // coldbujo @ ig

[nehilistuniverse]

I wish I could be aesthetic but I swear I suck at it I genuinely have no idea why I keep getting I should be some kind if designer according to psy test 🙄🤢 bc talent tumhaari g se nikkalun?