The Desperate Writer

16 years ago, I was a fanfic queen on a little site called Quizilla. Now at 34, I'm ready to rule again.

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Random thoughts during e1 of The Vampire Lestat

Let us begin. Recap. Well you already know what happened in the last two seasons don’t ya?! If not, catch up! We’ll wait. In the meantime…yay! 

Getting True Blood vibes from the opening. Armand! Aw. Louis! Aw. And Lestat goes full Banksy. Of course. Of course!

He really oozes sex, does he? Lestat I mean. 

Crotch shot. Nice.

Christine. Poor Christine. Pour one out for Christine.

Sam with pin straight hair and a turtle neck? No. Ew no. Fuck no.

“Rey-dit”

Daniel! Aw.

“Moi”/“Toi”

….oh that’s what that look was about! Aw. Touchy subject, Daniel.

Agreed, Lululemon isn’t sexy and locking up baby formula is a crime. Who knew Lestat was so in touch with modern world?

Didn’t the Jellyroll and Post Malone face tattoo tour get cancelled?

Woo! Quebecois! NO THANK YOU! Crash-out begins in 3….2…1…

Baby Armand, baby Claudia….aw.

Bauhaus would argue that one, my friend.

lol. Vampons.

He’s so dramatic. Jesus.

Daniel’s raised hand. Ha. I mean…same.

Don’t mix uppers and downers, kids. Just don’t do it! It’s all fun and games until it’s not and then it’s too late. There’s no floating on the ceiling. If you’re lucky, you wake up in the hospital wondering what the hell happened.

This isn’t my Mojo.

This isn’t my Baby Jenks either. The ceiling bit, sure. But she was a biker! Sorry. Maybe she’ll come back “in character” later on.

I knew it! The scars were always there! Fan theory confirmed. 

Don’t use the phone while peeing, guys. Please. That’s weird. And ew.

Are there really TVs in the boy’s washroom?

Poor Lestat. He really needs to cool it with the drug blood.

The 4th best thing.

Wait. Pause. This is all very…Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Like in format. The time jumping back and forth, the voiceover that is both self deprecating but still smug. It’s faster, obviously, but the notes are definitely there. Do feel it? No? Just me? Anyways, resume.

“I’m in charge of my work life balance.”

Okay Fang Gang. Jesus.

OMG! It happened! Holy shit! The DJ!

It’s his mother, isn’t it? Come to rescue her son.

….yes it is. 

All in all, it felt…different. Goofier. But the book was different too. So I won’t hold that it against it. It did feel rushed though and scattered. It might feel that way though because IWTV was very linear and slow. They had two seasons to stretch a book and we were following Louis and who was around Louis. Not so much this time around. We have a lot of characters to check in with and only so many episodes to do everything in.

I will say though, I’m putting my foot down with Mojo. I want the puppy! I hope we get a glimpse of the actual Mojo. Or at least a mention of him. He’s not a car!

It’s nice we got confirmation that the scars were always there and that they were either written out of IWTV or Louis just stopped seeing them because they were part of Lestat and Lestat was perfect (physically) in his eyes.

Anyways, all in all 8.5/10. Needs a rewatch and I, of course, will be eagerly waiting for next week’s episode! I’m looking forward to Gabrielle and going back into Lestat’s childhood.

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I’m gonna bitch and moan

Seriously though, did any fans get into the concert? I’ve only seen pictures and video from influencers and media. There’s reports of merch on eBay and people walking out after the screening and not staying for the concert =(

I am salty I wasn’t picked. I really was prepared to fly from the west coast of Canada. I’ve done it before for events and boy, I’d was so ready to do it again. But I’m also salty for the other fans that were constantly checking their inboxes for an email from the ticket people. I understand like hundreds of “us” wanted those ticked but it sucks that influencers got in and “we” were passed up.

sorry, I just had to rant. Still soooo ready for tomorrow!

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I really would have spent all my savings to go, ticket people. I really would have.

I should be (vomitting) in New York right now =(

[endiness]

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can you imagine playing Mario Kart with him? One blue shell and boom! We all dead. RIP us.

[sillystigmata]

Help.

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I just feel the overwhelming need to hug and put a gait belt on him. Maybe some bubble wrap. We must protect this man!

[endiness]

(x)

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Oh no. See? This is why fanfic “culture” can’t leak out into real life. The streams must never be crossed! It’s just weird and gets people uneasy. Poor guy. I bet he wishes to be back in his farm life with no internet.

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Lestat coded

”The Hunger” by The Distillers is so Lestat coded. I’m sobbing. Well my inner fangirl is sobbing. If she had it her way, there would be a perfectly timed YouTube slideshow being built right about now. (Go listen. It’s a great song)

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mom. Mother. Please.

My 70 year old mother’s response to the new trailer was “it’s very cute”. Um. Pardon?

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all hail us, Canada.

it’s the “No thank you!” That does it for me. Emphasis on the thank you. Lestat, our queen babe, is turning Canadian right before our very eyes and I’m so proud. Aw….

[roxyrondell]

Omfgggg, I AM SCREAMING! This new clip of s3 of IWTV is EVERYTHING! 😂🤣😍

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I’m so here for the dig at Quebecois.

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There’s gotta be a pay phone here somewhere

is anyone surprised Lestat knows how to operate a smartphone? Just me? I was expecting a scene of him still using his cassette Walkman from the 80’s and using a Nokia flip phone. Just playing Snake while someone bleeds out on the floor and getting angry when it takes 15 minutes to write a reply to Louis. Daniel tries to upgrade him to this decade but he gives up because he doesn’t understand what data is.

[lou-stat]

NEW THE VAMPIRE LESTAT TEASER

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I love how we get crumbs. *sigh* I can tell I’m going to have issues not liking Gabrielle. Yes, she’s a cold hearted witch of a mother BUT! Check out that bob!

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sorry but I have to do this. Children, gather ‘round. Believe it or not, before Heated Rivalry, there was another “gay” tv show. There was another “it” couple. You see, back in the early 2000’s there was a US (but produced in Canada) remake of the UK show “Queer As Folk”. And it pushed buttons and had people clutching their pearls like nobodies business. This was a show that pushed boundaries. And when I say boundaries, I mean it puts Heated Rivalry to shame when it comes to nudity and um “backrooms in nightclubs”. Nothing was really off limits. And most importantly it was shown in a positive light. These characters were shown as real people. The subjects the show tackled were heavy (HIV, cancer, bashing, addiction…turning 30) and real. I cannot stress enough how amazing this show was. Please, please go find it. Please.

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the things we lost along the way

So we all know IWTV was changed more than a bit when it jumped from book to TV screen. Not that this is a bad thing. But! I would have given anything to have experienced this one funny little moment. One line that doesn’t fit the vibe of Lestat and his ego at all. And it’s charming as heck.

“Stop looking at my buttons!”

He says this while Louis’s vampire vision kicks in and he happens to land on Lestat’s jacket. I just want a bashful Lestat moment. I want to hear the word “buttons” uttered coquettishly by a Frenchman.

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a very merry IWTV nativity

just for fun, let’s cast IWCT in a nativity play! Who would be who?

Louis: Joseph

Armand: God

Lestat: either the star, Mary or the baby Jesus

Daniel: all three wisemen, getting grumpier as the play goes on

Claudia: An angel

Your turn….

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so what can we learn about S3 by looking at pages and pages of props up for auction? Well! There’s definitely going to be a Halloween episode. The two Home Depot skeletons and tons of decorations up for grabs prove that. Also, the breakaway violin. So the infamous violin will sadly still meet its fate like it did in the book. I wept a bit when I read that bit in the book so I imagine it’s still gonna hurt when it’s shown in the show. Oh and bowling. There’s gonna be bowling! How fun! I wonder if Daniel forces everyone to bowl “as a family, gosh darn it!” And a lot of hookah action. If someone kind lives in the Mississauga area could pick up this pillow for me, that’d be great. 😭😰 I hate living on the other side of Canada. We never get anything good!

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Baby Jenks

Anyone else interested to see what the TV show does with Baby Jenks? In the book she gets like 5 pages. Yet she’s been cast in the show. I hope they give her a bigger part. I think she could really be expanded on.