From my perspective.

[nemracvee]

100 posts!

Hoooraaay for 100!

[nemracvee]

Behind every success are years, and hours of practice, training, and sacrifice.

Pastel work titled "Success".

A practice pastel work on sanded paper with soft pastel. Paper courtesy of Jao . 🩷🩵

First time to use Soft Pastel. 💚💜

[nemracvee]

Last day...... 5 days, 3 municipalities in Ifugao, over 200 kids & adults taught on Pastel Painting, over 600kms, and Paolo Typhon Signal No.4.

It was a last minute decision to go with The Travelling Pastel Project - Ttrapp Ifugao Series.

I received a call from Julius Legaspi (one pf the country's best Pastel Art Painter) one day asking for volunteer assistance from our art group for his Ifugao Series. It was a no-brainer that he was also asking me to go.

With the everyday challenges that I am facing in the last months, my soul and physical body was so drained. At that moment, I am still facing a gargantuan problem that I was trying to fix. The thought of going with TTRAPP and teach kids and adults Art and Pastel Painting, I suddenly yearned to see the majestic sceneries, fresh air, and the advocacy to make art available for everyone.

Unfortunately, I also knew that I would not be able to go unless I fix my current problem. I didn't want to travel and teach while subconsciously I was problematic and depressed. But strangely enough, I did not say No right away. I still went ahead and searched for other volunteer artists for the trip.

When everyone finally met the night before our travel, I was still undecided. I was still concerned that I have not fixed my challenges. Discussing about the itinerary and workshops over Nachos gave me excitement. But I still did not say yes.

Julius, and Jao kept egging me to go with them. They kept including me in the workshop operations and travel. I still didn't say no.

When I got home, I spoke with a good friend. She said: "Sis why don't you go with them? It will be good for your mental health.".

It got me thinking.......... I imagined the road trip, the sceneries, and spreading our love of art. We will not be paid. We do not even know what our accommodations look like. What food will be given. This is just for our love of art, and to share our love.

At 5am, I messaged them: I am going with you.

My daughter Karissa was practically pushing me out the door. She kept repeating impatiently that I should go on this trip to Ifugao. She said that in my eyes she is only 5, when she is basically an adult already.

We met a lot of students, most of them held a pastel paint for the first time. We heard stories of art, of life, of history. We met government officials, and a grandmother who studied Pastel at our Workshop. Kids, that despite the Typhoon Paolo Signal 4, were present and studied pastel with gusto and beaming smiles. And we met Maya her team, and Ms. Janni. Passionate people for their causes. 🩷💜💚

We lacked sleep, we are travel weary, we re-used clothes (we did not sweat anyway because of the weather), but we laughed and laughed! We saw majestic sceneries presented by Mother Nature, we listened to the Historic surrender of Japan during WW2. We planned for the next location to each art. We visited museums, a shrine, and saw beautiful cultural weaves of fabrics.

We forged a family bond.

5 days, 3 municipalities in Ifugao, over 200 kids & adults taught on Pastel Painting, over 600kms, and Paolo Typhon Signal No.4.

I went on this trip depressed and uncertain, I am going home with hope, love, happiness and a new found purpose in life.

The Travelling Pastel Project is not just to teach, but it's also for the healing of the one teaching.

Madamo nga salamat Julius for thinking of me on this trip. Jao, our new found friendship and more years of laughter & tears. My kids Vhen and Alice. Thank you for the prayers before meal Jericho. Ding for your smile that makes the sun shine all around you! 🌞☀️

Padayon lang!!

[nemracvee]

Done with the kitchen chores. Finally!

Grabbed the case of my eyeglasses on the table. Went up to my room, which is on the 4th floor.

Set up the iPAD so I can watch a movie while folding clothes.

I opened my eyeglasses case so I can read. Empty.

Looked, again, at the bed.

Not there.

Went down to the kitchen...again.... between the 1st and 2nd floor. Not on the table. Nor on the chair. Nor on the sink. Yes, I fixed the kitchen...again.

Went to my office, 2nd floor. Fixed my table. Not on the table either, neither on the chair.

Went up to my room again...4th floor.

Shook the blanket. The pillows. Fixed the dresser. Still.....not there.

Where in tarnation are my eyeglasses?!?!?!?

Guess where I found it.

[nemracvee]

Is Persistent Searching a sign of OCD?

This morning when I woke up, I saw on the floor the chain of my necklace with the absence of its pendant.

Being me, I started to look for the pendant. It's an oval Mother of Pearl, with silver two trees intertwined on its face inside the oval. This was a gift from my eldest daughter.

No brainer. I had to find it.

I assumed it is just within the vicinity of where I found the chain.

I got down on my hands and knees. None.

I groped around, lifted some stuff and looked under. None.

That was Phase 1. Start looking for the missing item. By just my eyes and hands.

Hmmmmm..... So, Phase 2. This is what I usually do when I need to find something and I wasn't able to find it.

By this time my focus was locked on the task at hand. Find the Pendant, nothing else. Just the pendant. My Spidey Senses are locked into that task. This is something that I cannot control. Honestly. It just takes over subconsciously. It's like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.

When I morph into this mode, I am like a Retriever solely focused on retrieving what it's hunting for. Nothing else.

You may ask, what is Phase 2?

It's the weapon that most Mommies rely on for easy to difficult tasks: Broom and Dust Pan.

Heeeeey.... Don't look down on the handy and study pair! It has served me for decades. I usually find my target at Phase 2.

I started sweeping the floor in my room. Believe me when I tell you that every nook and cranny of my floor is now devoid of cobwebs, dust, and dirt.

I found a lock of an earring, stones of a couple of bracelets, PhP5 coin, and an old 2x2 picture 20 pounds ago.

On to the entire flight of stairs and all the floor surfaces in my wittle house, in case it fell somewhere on one of the floors. Even the kitchen and bathroom.

Literally tracing everywhere I have been in the house.

I even went down to the garage to check. Yep! It's clean now, too.

After 2 hours, I have a spotless floor and clean garage floor.....and a well fed Husky.

But no pendant.

By this time, I was frustrated and upset.

I have always wondered if I have OCD.

I actually searched on Google for what I have. If there's a name for it: Persistent Searching.

It says though:

"Persistent searching can be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), it's not necessarily indicative of OCD on its own. OCD involves a cycle of obsessions (intrusive, unwanted thoughts or urges) and compulsions (repetitive behaviors or mental acts that a person feels driven to perform to reduce the anxiety caused by the obsessions)."

**https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9490-ocd-obsessive-compulsive-disorder**

Although, for it to be an OCD:

"Compulsions: To alleviate the anxiety caused by the obsession, they might engage in compulsive behaviors, like excessive searching, checking, or rearranging items until they feel "just right" or "complete"."

"Interference: For it to be considered OCD, this persistent searching needs to cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."

**https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/what-is-obsessive-compulsive-disorderInterference: **

For it to be considered OCD, this persistent searching needs to cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Meaning, it has to cause significant Anxiety and Distress on the person if something is lost and it can't be found.

The article went on to explain that I may be just a very meticulous and detail oriented person. But not necessarily have OCD.

I breathed a sigh of relief!

I don't have OCD. I am just a very very very meticulous person with a need for organized things around me....at the same time, I also thrive in mess. That will be my art space.

I was upset because it was a gift from my daughter. But I am not distressed because of an obsession.

Therefore, in summary, I just have a knack of finding things. I possess a superhuman power of focus for tasks at hand. My super weapon is my broom & dust pan, and my super eyesight.

On a brighter note, I have a spotless floor.

It was the first time that I did not find what I was looking for.

Resigned to that fact, I decided to take a bath to remove all the dust and grime. I removed my hair tie.

A sound of clinking on the bathroom floor. Something fell from my hair.

The pendant.

[nemracvee]

Is Persistent Searching a sign of OCD?

This morning when I woke up, I saw on the floor the chain of my necklace with the absence of its pendant.

Being me, I started to look for the pendant. It's an oval Mother of Pearl, with two silver trees intertwined on its face, inside the oval. This was a gift from my eldest daughter.

No brainer. I had to find it.

I assumed it is just within the vicinity of where I found the chain.

I got down on my hands and knees. None.

I groped around, lifted some stuff and looked under. None.

That was Phase 1. Start looking for the missing item. By just my eyes and hands.

Hmmmmm..... So, Phase 2. This is what I usually do when I need to find something and I wasn't able to find it.

By this time my focus was locked on the task at hand. Find the Pendant, nothing else. Just the pendant. My Spidey Senses are locked into that task. This is something that I cannot control. Honestly. It just takes over subconsciously. It's like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.

When I morph into this mode, I am like a Retriever solely focused on retrieving what it's hunting for. Nothing else.

You may ask, what is Phase 2?

It's the weapon that most Mommies rely on for easy to difficult tasks: Broom and Dust Pan.

Heeeeey.... Don't look down on the handy and sturdy pair! It has served me for decades. I usually find my target at Phase 2.

I started sweeping the floor in my room. Believe me when I tell you that every nook and cranny of my floor is now devoid of cobwebs, dust, and dirt.

I found a lock of an earring, stones of a couple of bracelets, PhP5 coin, and an old 2x2 picture 20 pounds ago.

On to the entire flight of stairs and all the floor surfaces in my wittle house, in case it fell somewhere on one of the floors. Even the kitchen and bathroom.

Literally tracing everywhere I have been in the house.

I even went down to the garage to check. Yep! It's clean now, too.

After 2 hours, I have a spotless floor and clean garage floor.....and a well fed Husky.

But no pendant.

By this time, I was frustrated and upset.

I have always wondered if I have OCD.I actually searched on Google for what I have. If there's a name for it: Persistent Searching.

It says though:

"Persistent searching can be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), it's not necessarily indicative of OCD on its own. OCD involves a cycle of obsessions (intrusive, unwanted thoughts or urges) and compulsions (repetitive behaviors or mental acts that a person feels driven to perform to reduce the anxiety caused by the obsessions)."

**https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9490-ocd-obsessive-compulsive-disorder**

Although, for it to be an OCD:

"Compulsions: To alleviate the anxiety caused by the obsession, they might engage in compulsive behaviors, like excessive searching, checking, or rearranging items until they feel "just right" or "complete"."

"Interference: For it to be considered OCD, this persistent searching needs to cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."

**https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/what-is-obsessive-compulsive-disorderInterference**

For it to be considered OCD, this persistent searching needs to cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Meaning, it has to cause significant Anxiety and Distress on the person if something is lost and it can't be found.

The article went on to explain that I may be just a very meticulous and detail oriented person. But not necessarily have OCD.

I breathed a sigh of relief!

I don't have OCD. I am just a very very very meticulous person with a need for organized things around me....at the same time, I also thrive in mess. That will be my art space.

I was upset because it was a gift from my daughter. But I am not distressed because of an obsession.

Therefore, in summary, I just have a knack of finding things. I possess a superhuman power of focus for tasks at hand. My super weapon is my broom & dust pan, and my super eyesight.

On a brighter note, I have a spotless floor.

It was the first time that I did not find what I was looking for.

Resigned to that fact, I decided to take a bath to remove all the dust and grime.

I removed my hair tie.

A sound of clinking on the bathroom floor. Something fell from my hair.

The pendant.

[nemracvee]

BTS did say to Love Yourself First.

This is one thing that most people tend to forget. Especially Moms, and especially Filipinos.

It is in our culture where when one shows the world that one loves oneself first, people tend to see it as selfishness. That is in our culture.

Mommies, tend to put everyone first, and themselves on the bottom of the food chain. It is in almost all Mommy's nature to do so.

By the time you remember that you also need to love yourself, time has already passed. Your youth is gone, white hairs are abundant , and wrinkles are showing,

Is it really selfish to love yourself first?

I just realized that at my age, a Golden Girl, it's not.

I just realized that no one can ever love you more, except yourself.

Why is it wrong to put yourself on top of the food chain? To pamper yourself with love and luxury? Well, for me, sleep and a facial is already a luxury.

As an Artist, a creative and colorful tote bag is a luxury.

Eating steak Salmon and beef steak is heavenly! Having our nails done with neon colors is bliss.

We need to reserve some time for ourselves. To recharge, to take a breather, and to clear our heads. Enjoy being in the scene with the flowers. Not passing by a flowery scene.

Loving ourselves is also taking care of ourselves. To be the best that we can be, so we can also take care of others.

As Mommies, we tend to devote our whole selves, and our whole lives taking care of our families. It is not wrong.

But it is also not right to just let go and not care for our physical selves.

More often than not, this is one of the most common causes where you will be taken for granted by your family that you will always be there and you will always do whatever they ask you to do.

Loving yourself and taking care of yourself is also putting a value on yourself.

So when you feel the need to put on those heels, let your hair down, and belt out Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.....gooooooo!! Dance the night away with Margaritas. Put on make up with your red lippies. Wear a bikini with your Mom Bod and strut like you own the beach runway...who cares!?

We only live once. We only have this life. Make the most of it!

Love Yourself First.

I love BTS, btw.

[nemracvee]

How do you wrap your presents?

As an Artist, and a person, I usually find materials that I know will mean something to the person you're giving your present to.

Take this for example:

When my daughter had her Graduation, I actually kept the special paper wrap on the bouquets that she received.

They were large, so I kept each paper wraps.

I just met a new friend, and he is leaving for Tanzania. 😊

I wrapped his going away present in one of those bouquet paper wraps. I chose a light cream colored paper with cut strips. I thought he would appreciate that, since he is a fellow artist. 😊

I used a local rustic string called Abaca fiber.

We also met on that day where I joined a Flower Crown making contest. The flowers have all dried up already, but I still kept the crown. I cut some Baby's Breath and a flower and tied it up with the string.

Everything that I used had significance to me, and the day our friendship started. 😊

Result? He really appreciated.

So, if you're a hoarder of art materials like me, don't throw things that you think might be useful in the future. 😁

[nemracvee]

When is letting go......letting go?

Is it when you realize that you need to?

Maybe, when you realize it is futile to hold on?

Or maybe, when your soul feels empty?

Each person have their own triggers. It is not the same for everyone.

Maybe it is a Mother who has done everything, and yet, remains invisible to everyone. Taken for granted. Unappreciated. But Mothers will always be Mothers. She will always take care of her family.

Maybe it is a Child, who has done everthing. Aim for high grades. Aim for a medal. Aim for the best student. And yet....feels empty. Is this what the child really wants? Why is the child doing these things, is it for him/her....or what is expected from the Elders?

Or maybe the child just wants to be an Artist.

Maybe it is the Wife, who has done everything. Take care of the family, have to be smart enough to earn an income as well, have to be smart enough to have a succesful career.....and take care of everyone around her...except herself. She gets tired too.

Maybe a "thank you" once in a while, form the husband. Or probably a day of time off from household chores and husband will take over, is precious.

Maybe it is the Friend, who gets tired of listening and helping all the time. Thinking it is time to let go for "your own good".

As for a Man's perspective, I don't know. I am not a Man. So, just think what you want to think. :-)

Letting go, for me, simply put, is cutting off everything and just walk away without looking back.

For others, maybe it has a different meaning. Maybe, letting go, for them just means to stand back and not work on it anymore. But still maintain a relationship. Mostly, this happens to Moms because their family will forever be their family. Extreme cases, though, some just walk away.

For others, maybe it means it is time to drop everything, and start a new adventure!

Liberation. :-)

Is it okay to Let Go?

If you feel that your soul is empty. Perhaps.

If you feel that you feel betrayed. Perhaps.

If you feel that you are misunderstood. Perhaps.

If you feel that you are alone. Perhaps.

If you feel that it is a vicious cycle and nothing will change.

If you feel that you are welcoming change.

Is Letting Go an Acceptance of what it is?

Or is it a Severance of what it is?

You decide.

For a person like me, where Loyalty in ingrained in my soul, this is really hard to do. But when I recognize the sign, the string snaps. Inner Angel and Demon will argue: Do we need to?

It is different for every person.

But one thing is certain, when deep within you whispers to your heart: Let Go.

Then it is time to let go.

[nemracvee]

"My Dream Walk". This is inspired by Australia's Aborigine Dot Art. I have always been fascinated with their Dot Art, and I truly love the

"My Dream Walk". This is inspired by Australia's Aborigine Dot Art. I have always been fascinated with their Dot Art, and I truly love the

[nemracvee]

Langit, Baybay, Bantay (Sky, Sea, Mountain) Acrylic 18x24 Hardwood frame including back support. At Pandegka Exhibit at SM Baguio Exhibit Hall. #artpouring #artpassion #acrylicart #acrylicpainting #abstractart #abstractpainting #nemracvee #loveart #passionart #fluidartwork #fluidpainting #baguiogirl #baguioartist #thankyouTaekook https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ5shkPhT58/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nemracvee]

Another practice painting. 🧡💛💙🖤🤍But I kinda like how it turned out. This was after I made Talna 1 and 2. 🙂 #artpouring #artpassion #acrylicart #acrylicpainting #abstractart #abstractpainting #nemracvee #loveart #passionart #fluidartwork #fluidpainting #baguiogirl #baguioartist https://www.instagram.com/p/CZYCxXSB1Av/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nemracvee]

Middle Earth Tranquility Enchanted Forest 10x10 Acrylic All available. Not yet sold. 😊😊 #artpouring #artpassion #acrylicart #acrylicpainting #abstractart #abstractpainting #nemracvee #loveart #passionart #fluidartwork #fluidpainting #baguiogirl #baguioartist https://www.instagram.com/p/CZUA35DBmu9/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nemracvee]

Framed and ready to ship. It looks soooo good. 😊😊💛♥️🧡🤎 Firewater and Explosion! #artpouring #artpassion #acrylicart #acrylicpainting #abstractart #abstractpainting #nemracvee #loveart #passionart #fluidartwork #fluidpainting #baguiogirl #baguioartist https://www.instagram.com/p/CZT76W7htq3/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nemracvee]

Good Day! My IG page's setting is on Public for the sole reason that I would like to show everyone my art works. Please do NOT follow me and Message me if your sole purpose is: 1. to get a date from me. 2. If I am interested in Cryptocurrency and Investment in US Dollars. 3. If I want to model your clothes. I am very sure you are good looking men with amazing achievements and ridiculously rich! Hooooray for that! Good for you!! I am confident that the right woman out there is waiting for you! 😊 I am so sure that you are masters of Crypto and Investment! I am happy for you! Build that wealth! I am waiting for you to buy my art works with the price that will make giddy with happiness!!🎨🎨$$$ Unfortunately, I don't have an hourglass figure to model that awesome wee sports bra. I love my steaks too much! Although my fingers exercise when lifting paint brushes. Any finger sleeve to model? 😁 Y'all have an amazing day!! Borahae!! 💜💜💜💜 https://www.instagram.com/p/CY0FAFTBD6_/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nemracvee]

Good Day! My IG page's setting is on Public for the sole reason that I would like to show everyone my art works. Please do NOT follow me and Message me if your sole purpose is: 1. to get a date from me. 2. If I am interested in Cryptocurrency and Investment in US Dollars. 3. If I want to model your clothes. I am very sure you are good looking men with amazing achievements and ridiculously rich! Hooooray for that! Good for you!! I am confident that the right woman out there is waiting for you! 😊 I am so sure that you are masters of Crypto and Investment! I am happy for you! Build that wealth! I am waiting for you to buy my art works with the price that will make giddy with happiness!!🎨🎨$$$ Unfortunately, I don't have an hourglass figure to model that awesome wee sports bra. I love my steaks too much! Although my fingers exercise when lifting paint brushes. Any finger sleeve to model? 😁 Y'all have an amazing day!! Borahae!! 💜💜💜💜 https://www.instagram.com/p/CY0EoyJhcMf/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nemracvee]

💔💔💔💔💔💔 #VMuteBostonBag #mutebostonbag @bts.bighitofficial @bts.bighitofficial @hellochingu.ph https://www.instagram.com/nemracvee/p/CYlEzWdL6Zm/?utm_medium=tumblr