More Totally Normal Bloodymary things bc I Will Not Be Stopped
•does Simon know actual proper engineering and mechanics and maintnence? Yes of course. He went to school for it and everything. Knowing these things is quite literally in his job description. Does he usually just jerry rig things around the house when they break in increasingly odd and bizarre ways that leave Ryland equal parts baffled, fond, and like he wants to shove Simon under a microscope and study him because what? Also yes
•honestly Ryland can't complain. He jerry rigs crap too when it's broken except he does it worse. Simon's slap stick fixes at least make some kind of sense
•Both Felicette and Peaches steal Ryland's pens off his desk. Simon *will* watch this happen and not do anything about it
•"they need enrichment" Simon will say. "They have toys" Ryland will argue. "Okay well they're not enriching enough" Simon will counter, and Ryland throws his hands in the air and puts more pens on the grocery list
•Ryland gives his kids daily updates on Peaches. He shows them pictures and everything.
•Ryland *never* gets sick. He works with middle schoolers. That man's immune system is unstoppable
•Simon, however, gets sick fairly easily. He spends a good chuck of his time in a tiny metal box at the bottom of the ocean, and before that he spent his formative years in a very small and close knit community (*cough* itwasacult *cough*). Plus, you know. There was the whole being in prison thing. This man has not been properly socialized. His immune system is shit
•the first time Simon got sick after he started dating Ryland was...well. Simon is used to powering though it when he's sick. Chug some cold medicine, pop a concerning amount of Tylenol, whatever keeps him going. He has work to do and. You know. He was never close enough with anyone to have them actually *want* to take care of him. Ryland, of course, wouldn't hear anything about it, and he came over and took care of Simon and stayed until he was better. Simon was worried about him getting sick too, but Ryland just waved him off. That man hasn't been sick in years
•there is exactly one time Ryland has been sick since he's been with Simon, and Simon genuinely thought Ryland was dying
•I like to think Colt goes to Simon for advice before he asks Jody to marry him. Simon just kinda stares at him for a bit before going "you do know I asked Ryland to marry me after I stormed out because we had an argument about my mom, right? This was not a normal proposal. It's important to me that you know that" And Colt's just "yeah I know but I've never asked anyone to marry me before and you have and I need advice man--"
•they end up going to Adrian and Rocky for advice
•despite how shaky and strained Colt and Ryland's relationship has been over the years, Colt does ask Ryland to be his best man. Ryland says yes
•Colt and Jody have a beach wedding btw. That's not all that important to the au but it's Important To Me
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