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Toph and Aang are terrible parents.

Okay, so let's talk about this:

Of course they are. Toph was raised in a bubble for 12 years. Her mother never even tried to reach out to her after she left, and her father disowned her in front of everyone, causing yet another trauma (even though they later reconnected, the trauma remained). This is probably why she never revealed the identity of their fathers to her daughters. She tried to give her daughters what she never had—freedom and free choice—but she never knew how to prevent such a huge rift from forming between her and her daughters. Suyin reconnected with her more easily because, probably, by becoming a mother, she understood in part what her mother felt or what she wanted to do; unlike Lin (and no one blames her for this), who only saw her mother cover up her youngest daughter's mistakes and almost left Lin to act like a mother to Suyin. Toph never had a motherly role model; she tried to be one, but she didn't succeed the way she wanted.

Aang, on the other hand, never knew what parents were. Traditionally, air nomads didn't grow up in families, but rather all together. He didn't have parental figures, but rather guides. When he became a father, he loved his children, who fortunately had Katara, who knew how to be a mother. But when Tenzin, the only airbender among his children, was born, all the attention probably shifted to him, to teach them what only he could. I don't think he ignored his other children, simply giving them less attention, creating a gap between them.

Neither Toph nor Aang ever had anyone to tell them what it was like to be parents, but they tried anyway, failing on several fronts in their own ways.