broiler

• hermit craf :^) • art tag is #neox art • pitchfork kidsn't •

[misericordiia]

yes, thanks for checking in

[klappersacks]

(via File Photo)

[mudwerks]

WTF are those obelisks on the right?…

[pricklylegs-deactivated20250727]

Tasty obelisk fries..

[memewhore]

“It’s digestible” has got to be the laziest goal I’ve ever seen achieved by a food product.

[gingerhaze]

“It’s digestible”

[rhea314]

“It’s digestible” is pertinent!! Okay, for those of you who haven’t researched Crisco for writing fic about gay sex in the mid-late 60s:

The first-edition of The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, “Vegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestible”[4] Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that “Its digestible” and “Crisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.”  Similarly, in the 1978 sex manual The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the book’s index.  Discussions of the shortening’s use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: “The lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.”[5]  In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s.  Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco.  Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20th century.

from this essay: http://www.columbia.edu/~sf2220/TT2007/web-content/Pages/drew2.html

The more you know! :D

[nianeyna]

I have learned a new thing today.

[soupwife]

Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated

[nianeyna]

I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.

[dancinbutterfly]

but @rhea314 you didnt include a picture of the crisco disco! AND MY GOD THE DJ BOOTH WAS A GIANT CRISCO CAN!

Go dance and get fisted. Fucking iconic.

[mr-elementle]

Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the “it’s digestible” in the gay stuff was a reference to crisco’s tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because it’s main competition came from “enhanced” lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food

[papapastoral]

And in case you were still wondering, @mudwerks.. Tuna Croquettes

[elf7knight]

This post is the opposite of net zero information. Not only did I learn several new facts about gay history but also we rounded our way back to the original question of the tag line and the mini obelisks.

It’s a net profit of information. 12/10 post

[yorgen-sh]

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 22 hours 1 minute

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[kitcatia]

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi): 84687 votes (36.8%)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary): 59779 votes (26.0%)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune): 85456 votes (37.2%)

Tenna has the lead by 0.4% (closer to 0.33% though) and 764 votes!

Keep up with the spreadsheet for live updates on a lot of extra data, including how far we are from beating sans x reigen in vote number!

TUMBLR POLL (using data from https://glittering.world/poll-grabber)

[hamkittens]

Mod #2 here! - Senshi (Dungeon Meshi): 95811 votes - Ryland Grace (Project Haily Mary): 63972 votes - Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune): 95985 votes tenna has the lead by 174 votes!

also, how yall likin the spreadsheet now? i purdyd it up a bit, i work with spreadsheets for a living hehe

[kitcatia]

MOD 1 HERE

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi): 96018 votes (37.46%)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary): 64040 votes (24.98%)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune): 96258 votes (37.55%)

Tenna has the lead by 0.09% and 240 votes!

data as of 14h07, BRT

Keep up with the spreadsheet for live updates!!!! NOW WITH PRETTY COLORS

TUMBLR POLL (using data from https://glittering.world/poll-grabber)

[leafstem]

*while sewing*: you are a fabric. you can stay a fabric. you do not yearn to return to being string.

[batbetbitbotbut]

*while spinning*: you are a thread. you can stay a thread. you do not yarn to return to being fluff.

[strikeslip]

*while embroidering*: you are a thread on a needle. you can just exist as thread on a needle. you do knot yearn to become a tangle.

[mawofthemagnetar]

*while turning wood* you are timber on a lathe. You can stay as timber on a lathe. You do not yearn to become a live hand grenade.

[karmaxxx130art]

Tumblr sexyman cooking show

Senshi will make sure the space teacher will not almost die from starvation or suffer from scurvy and beriberi.

[the-irreverend]

Thank you so very much @mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Awww thank you!!!!!

[detrimental-empathy]

i'm going to write a crackfic about tenna grace and senshi having no knowledge of the latter two just me and my silly brain trust

its going to be terrible on purpose

[detrimental-empathy]

y'all should be scared. i am two minutes into writing this and smiling like a maniac. this will be horrible to read

[detrimental-empathy]

here’s chapter 1

https://archiveofourown.org/works/88612701

@mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

THERES A FIC

[detrimental-empathy]

there’s a chapter 2

https://archiveofourown.org/works/88612701/chapters/235279111#workskin

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

THERES A CHAPTER TWO?!?!?!!!???!!

[detrimental-empathy]

Wow there’s a chapter 3 what the fuck i wonder who wrote this!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/88612701/chapters/235438151

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

CHAPTER 3 IS UP

[detrimental-empathy]

chapter 4 :3 get ready for sesbian lex

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

“It’s cooking time”

[detrimental-empathy]

The big finale is here

https://archiveofourown.org/works/88612701/chapters/235847666

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

WE GOT THE FINALE!!!!!

[apjvff]

If you don’t let go of your prejudices and past grudges, your heart won’t blossom. 2013 is coming, let’s make a change. We only have one planet so let’s show each other some kindness.

[crowboy-bebop]

2013 is coming… let’s show each other some kindness…

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[toastradamus-deactivated2022111]

haters will see you ressurect and be like “he cant afford a funeral”

[voyagevisuelle]

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ￥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk

you tell me

[meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin]

this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true

[coolstoryrob]

This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.

[bestrooftalkever]

Patrickmelon

The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

[ninja-sex-tarp]

I’m fucking done with this site

[celticpunkandcoffee-deactivated]

This is the evermelon.

If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.

[deltadragoon-deactivated2018111]

[neenernina]

OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

[amor-moved]

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP

[thereisagirlwhonevergoesoutpt2]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).

[memeseverdie]

Nothing will ever be better than the last one

[theinfiknight]

HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ

[liquid-geodes]

That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps-

[locatescape-deactivated20190801]

[mandatalks]

Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.

[marshmallow-gem]

:)

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[selfcarereminder]

the version of you from five years ago would be genuinely amazed by what you’ve handled since then. sit with that for a second

[selfcarereminder]

the version of you from five years ago would be genuinely amazed by what you’ve handled since then. sit with that for a second

[scamguy]

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

[mashpotatoe]

favorite word?

Love

[yossyislandd]

literally nothing is funnier than sphynx airplane ears

[yossyislandd]

oi my go,d