Tox.ic

Synthetic Intensity

[neon-blooded]

About Me

30 Years // Queer // Any Pronouns // call me Tox

I kinda just reblog a lot of stuff, and post about whatever interests me enough to tell the internet.

Right now, it's gotta be the unfortunate state of the world, star wars, video games, and funny haha stuff.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

hearing anything about the nolan odyssey is so funny. it's like "they cut the extremely important and infamous nobody scene" "the cyclops is a giant puppet that they put in an actual historical cave + gave circe animatronics for her pig transformation instead of cgi" "they dumped plastic skeletons in an environmentally protected location they were not supposed to be in" "they recreated ancient greek instruments in order to have an accurate score" "all of odysseus's agency is basically gone" "anne hathaway actually learned how to weave ancient looms" "the women in this movie are treated like shit" "they actually buried actors alive to get those underworld shots" "did you see what the fuck zendaya was fucking wearing holy shit you can't DO THAT, MA'AM" "what do you mean there was a legitimate epic the musical reference" "NOT A SINGLE FUCKING GREEK WAS CAST IN THIS MOVIE"

like did nolan have two guys standing at his side at all times whispering ideas in his ear and one told the truth and the other told lies and they didnt tell him which was which until they wrapped production cause

[archivalwork]

Palestinian boy plays near Bilal Raamadan's section of What Survival Left Behind; visual art exhibit of Palestinians' work held at Al-Bureij camp c. May 2026

Asian; Middle East, Palestine, Gaza; 2026 More from Bilal Raamadan on Instagram [art.bilal_raamadan]

[depsidase]

[neon-blooded]

*spends hours looking at or talking about art - original art, fan art, abstract art, realism, just ART*

I love artists. I just love artists with my entire heart. My entire soul. Love you guys so much. You give me life. Amazing wonderful creatures that y'all are. Love y'all 🫶🫶

[ryebreadgf]

zendaya wearing real 3000-year old ancient iranian earrings with no known track of provenance to the odyssey premiere. nasty work. even worse than the kim kardashian marilyn dress to me. they could have promoted modern greek jewelry designers but chose to do this instead. very tacky at best. especially in this geopolitical climate

[neon-blooded]

I've been in constant pain for over two weeks now, in my pelvic area.

It's fucking depressing, cause i have no idea why. I have PCOS, so i thought it was a rupturing cyst at first.

Turns out i seemingly have that under control? Which is a good thing... but then... what's causing me so much pain that i'm vomiting at times from the severity?

The ER was fucking bullshit. I went in last week - a week after the pains started. They did a cat scan and an ultrasound, then the doctor just fucking shrugs and looks at me matter of factly and says "there's nothing wrong with you"

When i didnt say anything he started to look confused, but when i started sobbing he looked uncomfortable. I just said "i am in significant pain. There is obviously something wrong with me."

He couldn't look me in the eye after that. He just mumbled "I mean, we could admit you for pain..."

By that point, i had been awake for over thirty hours and i'd been in an uncomfortable chair at the hospital for eight of those. I just went home. I was done with them.

When i looked at the medication they prescribed me, i had reached my breaking point. They prescribed me medications i had said i couldn't take, due to sensitivities. But more specifcally, they prescribed me meds for IBS.

I am incredibly insulted. As if i am unable to discern what i am fucking feeling. As if i didn't already spend over a goddamn hour confirming that i am having no bowel issues or digestive issues because i have my allergies and intolerances under control. I am not having pain in any of the places typical of IBS. I am literally having pain in my reproductive organs. I know this, because i've been struggling to control PCOS for over a decade. I know the location of these fucking pains.

But apparently, since i said "i am in so much pain that it had me vomiting" that's all they heard and decided to just assume it was a chronic intestinal condition, when they couldn't see anything obvious in my fucking uterus.

Im so tired of trying to see a doctor for help. Its been over a week since the ER and the pains aren't going away. They won't go away. It literally feels likes my uterus is fucking ripping itself up inside sometimes. I've been told by so many people to go to the er again, but fuck that bullshit. They wont do anything to actually determine if a complex issue is an emergency or not. They almost never do anything. Andon the rare chances that they do, they're so disgustingly vile to me. I don't have a single good memory of doctors from the ER.

If i die, then i'm telling my family to blame the ER. Cause fuck them. Fuck that doctor for looking at me in the eye and saying that nothing was wrong with me when there so obviously fucking is.

[byjove]

Damn didn’t know you were one of THOSE! Well, it was fun while it lasted 😬

one of what

communist

feminist

transgender

chivalric literature enjoyer

Voting ended onJul 16

[byjove]

it was being anti-Taylor Swift but I couldn’t tell because they blocked me. that’s so funny.

[warcrimesimulator]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[roadhogsbigbelly]

i honestly don't really understand why "some people prefer watching gameplay online rather than playing games themselves" is treated as such a taboo when being a spectator is considered a pretty mundane way to engage with most sports, game shows, reality tv or even just like. chess.

[depsidase]

[boycritter]

one must imagine sisyphus livin la vida loca

[pankendev]

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

[isuggesteatingtherich]

i have an easier suggestion

[neon-blooded]

I have some not-fully-articulate thoughts about something. You'll see people who complain and angst about something and everyone jumps to give them advice. But then they just double down and angst even harder. The problem is even worse now. It is suddenly their biggest obstacle and nothing anyone says will help them. They get aggressive.

I feel like the people trying to help them are doing a pointless task. They aren't looking for advice - they're looking for acknowledgement and solidarity in an experience that upsets them. We're great at resolving issues - we don't always need help figuring things out. Sometimes we just want to complain and be heard.

I remember when i realized this about the times when i complain and i just can't take any advice. I started saying "i'm just complaining, i don't need advice" or some variant. It leaves others off the hook of the pressure of feeling like they have to help me when that isn't want i'm asking for. It got a lot essier for me to communicate and be heard.

I also started saying two things - if i'm the one complaining, i just thank the other person for the advice and move on. I'm tired of being angry, defensive, and obsessing over not being heard in the perfect way i wanted. Because the fact that they're trying to give me advice tells me they heard me. They felt enough compassion to try and help. I appreciate the kindness.

The second thing is when im in the reverse situation. I just give a simple acknowledgement. "That really sucks, i'm sorry this is stressing you out" or something to that effect. I'll sometimes ask for more details - it gives them a moment to elaborate the thing their angsting over, to just talk it out. Sometimes, i'll ask if they want to hear advice - this is when the complainer realizes what they're looking for more consciously and they'll just say no, but they just wanted to be heard, or something. Or sometimes they'll surprise themselves and say they do want to hear it. I think being presented with the idea of advice as an option as opposed to just having dumped on them can make them more inclined to want to listen to it. It gives them a level of agency and equity in the conversation that they're looking for to begin with.

I've been ruminating on this because the keyholders at my store are still young and haven't really come to these conclusions yet. So they angst and complain about things. And i just acknowledge them and it makes the conversations easier to have. They're less immediately defensive when they start complaining. It's interesting, just noticing this stuff.

My sister is a big complainer. She's older than me, but she can't seem to articulate that she just wants to be listened to. Not helped. Idk how many times i've tried to subtly get the idea in her head - that's the only way for her to grow i'll be fucking real; the amount of times i've successfully subliminally given her ideas that she then thinks are her own original experiences is fucking hilarious, it's a joke between my mother and i now - but she can't express that she isn't looking for resolutions. She's a very rigid person. If someone doesn't know how to respond exactly how she expects them too (still a mystery to everyone but me apparently) she can get defensive and angry to the point of screaming. She'd started concentrating her complaints at me because i just would say "yeah that sucks" or whatever and i guess it's exactly what she wanted to hear so she'd chill.

Just a bunch of thoughts.

[depsidase]

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect