More things I didnāt discover until my 10th playthrough:
When Ashley wakes up at the beginning of chapter 14
when Leon is sitting on the floor at her bedside, and heās winded and his vision is blurring and heās actively planning his suicide and probably wondering at what point he should actually pull the trigger so that he does it before he turns, and heās very likely just hoping and praying that Ada will actually come through for him post-mortem and get Ashley home in his stead
yeah so like when she wakes up during that
and Leonās name is the first thing out of her mouth? She doesnāt just say his name. She also puts a hand on his shoulder
and thatās when he perks up and gets up and his symptoms suddenly all vanish and I want to fuckgin throw up now that Iāve noticed it.
Iāve talked before about how Ashley is Leonās anchor to reality, but that is actually literally true in this instance. When Leon sat down and flipped his gun around and pulled the slide back, he was checking to make sure that a round was chambered. Then he takes a deep, steadying breath.
This happens just after his suppressant wore off, and there was no way for him to know when Ashley was going to wake up. It couldāve been hours. And by then, it wouldāve been too late for him.
He was checking for a round in the chamber so that he could use it on himself if it came down to it.
Canonically, this isnāt the first time heās considered suicide. In RE6, he admits that he considered it (āa few times, actuallyā) while still in Raccoon City, and also just after escaping. So, when heās sitting there at Ashleyās bedside, he isnāt considering suicide with aĀ āI hope it doesnāt come to thisā mentality ā itās more of aĀ āIt was probably always going to end like this anywayā one.
And I can say that with confidence because itās the closest he ever gets to actually turning (prior to his hallucinations at the very end of chapter 15) ā and it seems to be entirely self-inflicted. On some level, mentally, heās already given up.
But then itās her touch and her voice that clears his vision, steadies his breathing, chases away the pain and weakness that caused him to sit in the first place, and even brings a smile to his face. Suddenly, heās fine. And he doesnāt have another fit like that again, outside of Saddler deliberately causing one.
I think about that in tandem with how bad his mental health gets later in the series ā how dark his depression gets in some canon installments, how profoundly his trauma manifests, and how he tries to self-medicate with liquor until it turns into a problem that just gets worse and worse and worse as the years go by.
And I just have to wonder if heād have ever gotten that bad if he hadnāt walked away from Ashley at some nebulous point after RE4.
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