Institutionalized Misogyny: Why Women Are "Difficult" (and Why Galadriel Deserves Grace)
Can I get something off my chest, friends?
First of all, much like Tolkien, I believe in the inherent good of all people. And I have met more kind, compassionate and assertive people than I have met the other group.
But. I have to say this either way.
Institutionalized misogyny thrives on control—especially controlling how women express themselves. Here’s the catch: when women defend themselves, they’re labeled “difficult.” You can be the calmest, most articulate person in the room, but if you dare challenge someone, you’re suddenly “too much.” Too loud, too angry, too aggressive, too bitchy and snarky and defensive. Because heaven forbid you don’t smile politely and instead dismiss someone’s dumbass opinion.
It’s systemic. When men disagree, they’re assertive. When women disagree, they’re trouble. And this double standard bleeds into how we view fictional women, too.
Galadriel’s unapologetically herself. She is unabashedly unashamed of who she is even though she fucks up sometimes. She lets pain, grief, and rage cloud her judgment and inadvertently coaxes Satan out of retirement.
And yes, she should face the consequences of those actions. But let’s be real: men in similar situations get treated like heroes on an “arc.” A guy screws up? It’s a redemption story. A woman screws up? She’s irredeemable. She’s the problem.
Galadriel isn’t perfect—and that’s the point. She’s grieving, angry, flawed, and still standing. And that makes people uncomfortable because women are expected to apologize for existing, let alone for messing up. When men fail, they’re given room to grow. When women fail, they’re told to go join Hillary Clinton in the woods and never show their faces again.
Yes, Galadriel should be held accountable. But treating her like she is the villain rather than a victim of her own humanity (or elf-ness, whatever) is the exact reason women are held to impossible standards. Let’s allow women the same grace we allow men when they screw up.
Let them be rude, let them be angry, let them feel. Women don’t have to be picture-perfect role models 24/7. They’re allowed to act human in the face of tragedy. Treat them with compassion, not contempt, for their flaws.
And by the way, this is not the fourth wave of feminism hatred post to grab pitchforks and crucify men. In fact, I am ashamed and heartbroken to even say this out loud, but it is mostly women (at least in my life) who I have seen (and both experienced) perpetuating misogyny and unnecessary competitiveness.
This is a post coming from a place of love, calling out a HUMAN, institutionalized behavior, not just male behavior, that hurts women and therefore hurts storytelling which I deeply care about.
Thank you for listening and keep being awesome.