Jacknerdieth Reviews Blue: Part 2
This time, she started with a disclaimer. She says that this chapter will have subtle changes. I doubt that. So, lets dive into:
The Air Creatures Part One
It had been about two years since I had come to the Water Tribe. During that time, I had managed to get the whole Tribe on my side. (Except for Sokka, right? He’s Not even funny, but he’s still more entertaning then the rest of this.) Even Sokka (Damnit), the one who had been suspicious of me since I had arrived, warmed up to me eventually. I still had my necklace, and I never took it off, except to take a bath. (We didn’t need to know that.)
I had changed my fashion style to fit the extremely cold climate of the South Pole. Before, in the Fire Nation, I had taken to wearing clothing that tended to end around my knees or higher, loose pants, and shirts that sometimes showed off my middle. Now I wore a long-sleeved white shirt, long dark brown pants, and black boots. I also had a blue parka (you had that in the last chapter.), like Katara’s, only a darker blue. Usually I kept my hair tied back, which I hated, but I hated getting my hair caught in my parka even more. It got all electrified and stuck up.
I had changed myself, too (Wohoo!). Now, instead of the soft-spoken, shy, bookish little girl that I had been two years ago, I was the out-spoken, sarcastic, fiery, and witty teenager (That was misleading.).
Anyway, I’m getting off topic here. (Lets keep it off topic. How was your day?)
So, I was close to the village, hunting for fish – or just meat in general - on the edge of the ice . Sokka and Katara were on a similar mission, only they were hunting in Sokka’s canoe. I loved hunting by myself. I could practice firebending on the fish because in this fanfic fire passes through water seamlessly somehow, and no one could see me. And if the fish were killed, then I would have dinner. Since Gran-Gran (she had made me call her that since I was living in the village, and pretty much everybody called her that(“Gimmie the Money you old hag!” “Call me gran-gran sonny.”)) usually made me go fishing with Sokka and Katara, I couldn’t practice my firebending as much. That was probably what she intended.
The reason being this: none of the villagers, not even Katara, were comfortable with my firebending. Sokka sometimes tried to get me to stop firebending permanently, since I was living on a block of ice and waterbending would be more useful, but I always held my ground and argued back that asking me not to firebend was like asking me to stop breathing (A good thing.). It was a part of who I was, and it was how I lived. It was the same with Katara and her waterbending.
Speaking of which, Katara hadn’t gotten any better at waterbending. Well, she had gotten better, but not much. I had a basic principle of the art, being around Pakku for almost fourteen years, but Katara and I both needed a master to teach us. I had more time on my hands to practice, but Katara was basically like the princess of the tribe, since her dad was the chief, and had millions of chores to do and basically had no time to practice (Ha! Wait. you’re serious.).
I took off one of my gloves and amused myself by shooting small flames into the sky for a few minutes, before I noticed a small green fish swimming around. I shot a blast of fire at it – granted, it was a stupid idea, but it was instinct. The fish managed to get away from that, but I stabbed my spear in the water and impaled it. It floundered around for a few seconds before going limp. Katara had once asked me why I didn’t just waterbend the fish out of the water, and I had responded with this: it wouldn’t be as much of a challenge (Main character likes things challenging cliche.).
"Sorry about that." I apologized to it, lifting it out of the water. "Natural order of things. I have an entire village to feed, so you’re not dying in vain. Don’t worry." I know it seemed silly, apologizing to something that was dead, but it was just in my Simplistic nature. I hated killing things. (That’s why you tried to blast it with fire. it was peaceful fire.) But really, I had to. Sokka, Katara and I were pretty much the only people who could hunt, but Katara got squeamish about killing things Because she was overly girly in this fanfic, and Sokka wasn’t exactly what you would call the best hunter in the world. Neither was I, since I hadn’t been doing it as long as him. But still, the rest of the village was a bunch of kids who couldn’t be trusted around eating knives, let alone hunting materials, women who were past the age of hunting (and for whatever reason, didn’t know how to do it themselves) and Gran-Gran, who was too old (Isn’t that the same thing as being past the age of hunting?).
Suddenly, there was a loud exploding noise and before i knew it there was a bright light. But from the sound of it, it was pretty far away. I looked up, and saw, to my shock, there was a giant beam of blue light shooting from out of the distance (Sonic the hedgehog has come to save the day!).
I gasped in amazement, and looking around, I saw a herd of tiger seals (Hey! She copied my Lion Walruses!) roaring at the beam of light.
"Are you seeing this?" I asked them (Who?) in amazement. Not getting an answer (not that I was expecting one) I ran off toward the village, hoping Gran-Gran could explain this.
When I got back to the village, I nearly ran into one of the villagers. Everyone had stopped and stared at the beam of light. Soon, the light faded and everyone stopped staring and went back to whatever they had been doing.
I saw Gran-Gran still staring out onto the horizon. I ran over to her. “Gran-Gran, what was that?” I asked, breathless. The lion turtle has deemed you unworthy of writing a fic. It has come to reap your immortal soul
She didn’t answer. “So, he’s back.” She murmured. “It’s about time.” (Who? Wait… Oh god. And how does she even know its the avatar! A giant blue light could be anything.)
"Who’s back? What are you talking about?" I demanded, but was ignored. "Gran-Gran!" I was ignored again.
~~Water~~ (Not this agian.)
Far away from Tora, and the beam of light, and the Water Tribe, a Fire Nation ship was heading through the many glaciers and icebergs that tended to surround the waters of the South Pole (That’s not what it was called.). Steam rolled from the smokestacks on the ship, staining the blue sky with gray smog.
Standing on the deck of the ship was a boy. He wore Fire Nation armour(Spelled that wrong.), colored a dull red shade. His black hair, tied back into a medium-length ponytail at the top of his head while the rest of his head was shaved off, gold eyes, and pale skin instantly gave away his status of someone from the Fire Nation (Not evrybody from the fire nation has amber eyes and pale skin. what about… ehm… You got me there. I think that boy from when appa was in the circus had different eyes…). Though, it wasn’t those features that were the most noticeable. The boy’s most noticeable feature was the scar. It was a pale red color, as it had partially faded with time. It spread over his right eye like a flame, spreading over his ear and some of his neck.
This boy just happened to be Prince Zuko, the banished Prince of the Fire Nation. (I wonder who the love interest will be. If you know who it is, call the flashing number below for a chance at the deluxe package! Hint: It's probably Zuko.)
"Finally." He breathed, narrowing his eyes as the light faded. He turned toward his uncle Iroh, who sat a few feet away from him, playing a game with wooden cards at a small table (So, from your point of view, The white lotus is a secret organization you can't talk about for legal reason. That's already idiotic, but how can we consider you a reliable source when you don't even remember the name of Pi-Sho? The white lotus is NAMED AFTER a tile in the game! You even called the tiles wooden cards.) . "Uncle, do you realize what this means?" "Yes nephew. Yet another Crappy fanfiction is being written. brace yourself."
"I won’t get to finish my game?" Iroh asked (Who is he even playing with?). With Iroh, often it was very hard to know if he was being sarcastic or being serious.
“No. What it means is that my search is about to come to an end.”
Zuko continued, either not hearing Iroh or choosing to ignore him. “That light came from an incredibly powerful source. It has to be him!” (Even in the show, i don't know why he assumes that.)
Iroh pointed out that it could also be the celestial lights (ignoring the fact that celestial lights didn’t normally stick up straight from the ground). He knew that his nephew had a habit of assuming things and getting his hopes up, and then getting utterly disappointed when it fell through. He hated that. “Sit. Why don’t you enjoy a cup of calming jasmine tea?” He smiled, gesturing to his teacup and teapot next to him.
Zuko, being Zuko, pretty much exploded, but as his guts and bones went flying, he reformed, and his attempt to escape this fanfic through suicide was sadly foiled. “I don’t need any calming tea! I need to capture the Avatar!” He pointed off into the distance, towards the place where the light had come from, and yelled for the helmsmen to steer the metal ship toward the light. (I haven't seen the first episode in awhile. so i don't know if this is copied directly from it. But I'm pretty sure it is.)
I’m going home. (Italics make it more emotional cliche.)
~~Water~~ (Is that supposed to be your transition?)
I walked back into the village, and saw Sokka and Katara walking toward the igloo In an attempt to avoid me. For whatever reason, Sokka’s parka was stained with a weird light green color. There was some muck of the same color in his hair too.
"Back so soon? I was almost starting to miss you, Sokka." I said teasingly. Sokka shot a (Shotgun shell?) glare (Aw...) at me. Katara smiled, but turned serious.
"We found someone frozen in the ice." She said. I raised an eyebrow.
"Does it have something to do with the beam of white light?" I asked. She nodded. "Good, someone can explain that to me."
Katara started explaining the whole thing to me. Apparently, they had been fishing, and the canoe got crushed by icebergs, then Sokka majorly ticked Katara off, and she started beating up an iceberg, and the iceberg cracked open and an airbender boy appeared out of the iceberg, not frozen and completely alive, along with this giant fluffy monster with an arrow on its head.
"Sound’s completely believable.” (You live in a world with tons of giant fluffy monsters. it isn't all that unbelievable)
"It’s true!" She insisted. "I can prove it!"
"Lead the way, she-who-royally-beats-up-icebergs-and-produces-arr ow-boys-and-arrow-monsters." (That wasn't funny.) I said, gesturing dramatically. Katara rolled her eyes, grabbed my wrist and dragged me along.
~~Water~~ (Try something else. like...
"Okay, I believe you now."
I was standing with Katara in front of a giant fluffy white monster with six legs, horns, and a giant brown arrow along its back. It was a little scary looking, but at the same time looked like an overgrown cow. (Also not funny.)
"Told you." Katara said smugly.
"Well, can you blame me for not believing you?" I asked, walking over to the creature and stroking its head. The off-white fur was softer than polar bear dog fur. (You already copied Korra's name. You don't have to include her pet.)
The creature turned its head and licked me, yanking me off the ground, and I fell flat on my face. “Jeez!” I yelled, pulling myself off the ground.
Katara laughed. “Appa likes you.”
"And what, pray tell, is an Appa?"
Katara gestured toward the creature, who groaned loudly. “Aang called him a sky bison.”
"Huh, I thought they were extinct." I said thoughtfully. Then again, Southern Water Tribe benders were supposed to be extinct too, but Katara was standing in front of me. Of course, that was a different matter altogether…
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Appa making a weird noise. I heard Sokka’s very loud voice coming around the corner. “That thing better not be sneezing again!” As soon as Sokka came around, green snot shot out of Appa’s nose and splattered all over Sokka. (Accept it, author. you jokes aren't funny.)
Katara and I burst out laughing as Sokka walked away again, presumably to wash himself off again. (Why are Katara and tora friends! This makes no sense!)
"I love you, Appa." I said, still laughing as I pet him (Sky bison pervert!). Appa made a loud happy groaning noise. Several of the village kids came running over too us, and started climbing over Appa. I was worried that he would get annoyed and hurt them, but I didn’t have to worry. Appa was very gentle.
Katara told me she was going to wake up Aang (the arrow boy) and I gathered the children together. They all started protesting as I pulled them away from Appa, but I told them that there would be extra sea squid soup (Bah! Sea squid? SEA SQUID? Whats for lunch, Land bear? and maybe a side dish of air bird.) for them if they cooperated. Instantly, they grew quiet.
A few minutes later, the whole village was standing in a group in the middle of the village. It was a pretty small Tribe, due to the fact that the water benders, who made up most of the population, had been taken away during Fire Lord Azulon’s reign, and the fact that all the men of the Tribe were away fighting.
Katara appeared at the entrance of her igloo, with a boy following her. I assumed this was Arrow Boy. His clothes were orange and yellow, and he was bald, with a blue arrow tattoo that curved over his head and ran down the back of his head, down his neck, and down his back (How are you seeing his back?). In his left hand he held a long wooden staff. His clothes and his tattoo’s gave it away – he was airbender (How do you even know what airbenders look like? They've been dead for a hundred years.). But there weren’t any airbenders anymore (Exactly!). He was obviously an imposter.
"Aang, this is the entire village. Entire village, Aang." Katara introduced him to us, then us to him.
Aang bowed, but the rest of the villagers stared at him and pulled back, holding their kids closer (People avoid newcomer cliche). I, on the other hand, walked forward and smiled at him. He smiled back, before turning to Katara.
"Why are they looking at me like that?" he asked Katara. He started checking his clothes. "What, did Appa sneeze on me or something?" (Is that going to be a running gag? Because it wasn't funny the first time.)
"Well, no one has seen an airbender in a hundred years." Gran-Gran said, cutting through the crowds. "We thought they had all been wiped out. And then my granddaughter and grandson found you."
“‘Wiped out’?” Aang repeated, looking shocked. I frowned slightly. Gran-Gran shouldn’t have said that. Or, at least, not like that. It was kind of… blunt. But then again, it was Gran-Gran. (I don't recall gran-gran being blunt.)
"Aang, this is my grandmother." Katara introduced Aang to Gran-Gran.
"Call me Gran-Gran." She said unemotionally. I laughed.
"Aang, this is my friend, Tora. She’s a waterbender and a firebender." Katara said, gesturing to me.
"A waterbender and a firebender?” Aang said in amazement. I nodded. “That’s so (Lame? Unoriginal? Overused?) cool (What?!)! How did you do that?”
"My dad was part of the Water Tribe, so he had waterbending in his blood. Mom was part of the Fire Nation, and she was a firebender." I explained. Aang nodded, still staring at me.
"What’s this? A weapon?" Sokka grabbed Aang’s long wooden staff and started inspecting it. "You can’t stab anything with this!"
"Can I see that?" Not waiting for an answer, I stepped forward and snatched it away from Sokka. I promptly jabbed him in the stomach and hit his head with it, making him fall over. "There, it’s a weapon." (Why'd you do that! Avatar humor isn't just repeated slapstick, ya'know.)
Aang laughed. “It’s not a weapon. It’s my glider.” He explained, opening the staff with a fancy twirl, revealing two red wings made out of paper.
"Magic trick! Do it again!" Lili, one of the little girls, (and one of my personal favourites Because i sort young children into groups of how much i like them for some reason) exclaimed in delight.
"Not magic, airbending!" Aang said calmly. "It lets me control the air currents around my glider and fly."
"You know, last time I checked, people can’t fly!” Sokka sneered as he got back to his feet, rubbing his head and glaring at me. I rolled my eyes – both at his skeptism, and at his glaring. It didn’t hurt that much. I hit him harder than that every other day. He was just a wimp. Men are such babies. I'm such a judgmental brat.
"Check again!" Aang said, launching himself into the air. He started doing all these crazy loops and gliding in the air.
You know how I called him an imposter before? I take it back. (You're telling the story after this has happened. You don't need to take it back.)
All of a sudden, Aang slammed into Sokka’s ‘watchtower’, which was really just a large pile of snow.
"My watchtower! Now how will I go door to door to talk about Jesus" Sokka shrieked, all three of us running over to where Aang fell. Sokka tried to fix his tower when Aang pulled himself out of it, and ended up covered in snow. He muttered something under his breath. Something that had to do with the three of us, meaning Katara, Aang, and me, all being benders, and how we could waste time together all day long.
"You’re a waterbender!" Aang said in amazement. (Did i miss something? Did She waterbend when i wasn't looking? And why are you more surprised at That then somebody who can bend two elements!)
"Well, sort of. Not yet." Katara said, ducking her head. I smiled and ruffled her hair.
"You just need a master to train you, that’s all." I said to her. "Same as me."
Gran-Gran came over to us, frowning slightly. She said that Katara needed to finish her chores, and that there would be time for ‘playing’ later, before leading Katara away. I sighed. Gran-Gran just didn’t get the fact that Katara would never get better at bending if she didn’t practice. No matter how many times I argued with her about it, she never changed her mind. It’s almost as if she didn’t want Katara to learn waterbending.
I turned back to Aang and saw him with his tongue stuck to his staff. Somehow, he had gotten his tongue stuck to it (You said that twice.). He reminded me of whenever I dared Sokka to stick his tongue to one of the glaciers that came close enough to the boat. He started speaking, only because his tongue was incapable of moving, he ended up pronouncing his s’s as th’s. “My tongue is thtuck to my thtaff now!”
I laughed when the kid next to him yanked on it, stretching out Aang’s tongue.
"Need some help with that?" I asked him. Aang looked at me, and nodded. "Fair warning. I haven’t been practicing firebending for a while, so I might…" (Wait! Don't-)
"AAHH!" (What were you thinking! You tried to get him unstuck by FIREBENDING! What an Idiot!)
"Burn you." I finished lamely. "I’m sorry!" I yelled as Aang jumped up and down in pain, holding his tongue, which now had a small black mark on it. When Aang stopped hopping around, I inspected his tongue to make sure it wasn’t hurt too badly. Then, when I had to go out hunting for more dinner, Aang decided to join me. (WHY! Why would he willingly go with you when you could have killed him!)
I held my spear in a horizontal position over both shoulders, my arms draped over it, and Aang suddenly asked me, “Why aren’t you guy’s vegetarians?”
I turned around and stared at him. “Well, it might be hard to believe, but given the fact we live in the South Pole, there isn’t much vegetation around here.” I said sarcastically.
"Right, stupid question. Almost as stupid as you."
I saw a fish and raised my hand, making a globe of water rise out of the water with a fish inside. I dropped it onto the snow and stabbed it with my spear, and saw Aang wince. “Sorry about that.” I apologized to both Aang and the fish. “But the village needs to eat, and next to Sokka I’m the best hunter.” I finished to Aang. “Besides, it’s more humane to stab it (...) than just letting it dry out.”
"It’s fine." Aang said. He got bored after a few minutes and started ‘helping’ me. By helping, I mean sending spheres of air into the sky, then blasting air in the water in the hopes that fish would blast out of it.
After Aang dried me off with his airbending for the fifth time, I decided it was time to go home. On the way back, Aang noticed my necklace.
"That’s really pretty!" He exclaimed, staring at it.
"Thanks. It was my mothers." I smiled. I knew what he was going to ask next.
"Why doesn’t your mother wear it?" Called it! (It's actually a little obvious that your mother passed away due to you saying it WAS your mothers.)
"My mother died when I was five. She got very sick." I explained.
Aang’s continuous smile disappeared. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
"It’s fine. I’m used to it." I said, patting his shoulder reassuringly.
"So, what about your dad? Is he here?" I winced. That was not something I liked to talk about.
"No. He’s not. He’s back in the Fire Nation."
"How come you’re here and he’s not?" "He and Fat the butler were having a homosexual relationship and needed an excuse to get me out.
I sighed. “My dad’s part of this… club, I guess. And the rest of the members thought I was distracting him from his duties to the club (What duties! The white Lotus only take action when it is something of utmost importance. So what was it?), so I was sent away. I came here, and I’ve never left.” I said sadly, kicking the snow with my black boot.
"I can relate to that." Aang muttered.
"Nothing!" (Secondary character almost reveals back story but hesitates cliche)
I raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. When we reached the village, Aang disappeared somewhere, and I found Sokka training his ‘warriors’ – which happened to be the seven five-year olds in the tribe.
"Now men, it’s important that you show no fear when you face a firebender. Tora is the rare exception to the rule." (Don't be scared of her! She's a Mary Sue! Mary sues aren't scary in the slightest!)
I always loved this. I loved interrupting him. “Are you saying I’m not terrifying? Should I take that as an insult?” (You being the exception means you ARE scary. It's not accurate. But it's what it means.)
Sokka continued, ignoring me completely. “In the Water Tribe, we fight to the last man standing. That's right kids. After we win, we all kill each other for no reason. It's been that way forever.” "But i don't wanna-" "FOREVER!"
"Why would five year olds be fighting? What, are you expecting them to ‘cute’ the enemy to death?" (He's training them at a young age so they can develop into warriors later.)
“For without courage, how can we call ourselves men?” Sokka was now speaking through clenched teeth, showing me that he was no longer ignoring me.
"I have to pee." One of the kids, Tonraq, said, raising his hand. I snorted. (Hilarious.)
"Listen! Until our fathers return from the war, they’re counting on all of us to be the men of our Tribe. Do you know what that means?" After a moment of silence, Sokka yelled, "That means, no potty breaks!” You think he’d be used to this by now. It happens every time.
"Tora!" Tonraq cried, looking at me with a panicked expression. "Please! I really have to go!" (Hey kid, when you get to the bathroom, run! Run away from the fic!)
I smacked the back of Sokka’s head.
"Okay…" Sokka sighed in exasperation. "Who else has to go?"
After a moment, every one of them raised their hands. I started laughing, while Sokka closed his eyes and slapped his forehead. I grinned when I noticed Katara coming up to both of us, while the kids wandered off (Where IS their bathroom. They must really enforce the don't eat the yellow snow rule.). She asked us if we knew where Aang was.
"Well, he came hunting with me, but I haven’t seen him since, and that was about," I paused, thinking. "Five minutes ago."
Aang suddenly came out of the ‘bathroom’ which was like Sokka’s watchtower – meaning it was just a pile of snow and ice. “Man, everythingfreezes in there!” He exclaimed, pointing to the bathroom. I grimaced. I did NOT need to know that. (You just made me think of the avatar peeing. You have lost what little respect i had for you.)
"Katara, get him out of here! This lesson is for warriors only!" Sokka snapped. "And you!" He pointed at me. "Stop distracting the kids!" In response, I smacked his hand away from my face.
I heard a kid’s voice cheering, and I glanced over to the sound of the cheer, only to see the kids sitting on Appa’s back and sliding down his tail (which had been propped up on a rack for weapons) into a pile of snow. Katara and I both laughed, both at kids, and also at the irritated look on Sokka’s face as he rushed over.
"Stop! Stop it right now! Stop writing this fic!" Sokka yelled up at Aang furiously. "What’s the matter with you?" He demanded (Why is he so whiny?). He started giving a rant about how we didn’t have time for "fun and games" when the war was going on.
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, kiddies,” I said, ushering the kids away from the Sky Bison. “Sokka will have a conniption if you don’t get back to war time.” I laughed as the kids all started whining loudly, clinging to my clothes and crying about how they didn’t want to leave Appa alone, and how he would get lonely, and how Sokka was no fun at all, and about how come the girls didn’t have to train too? (I'm not even there and I'm annoyed.)
"Because Sokka is a sexist butthead."(WHAT! Did you just call sokka, the GREATEST comedy relief of all time, A SEXIST BUTTHEAD! Calm... Calm... I am a gentleman. I will not get angry over something so childish.) I said seriously, smiling as the kids started giggling when I used the word "butt" (Because as we all know, children are stupid and always laugh when they hear the word butt.). I jumped as I suddenly heard someone (presumably Aang) suddenly yell "PENGUIN!" Then a wave of air rushed over me, somehow pulling my hair out of my parka and pulling it out of its braid, blowing it all over the place. Spitting some hair out of my mouth, I turned around and saw a trail of dust heading off into the horizon, where I saw a small dot of orange and yellow disappearing over a hill of snow. (Thats right Aang! Run! Run! And fufill your dream of... being a penguin.)
"What was that about?" I mumbled to myself, raising an eyebrow as Katara ran after the airbender. I felt a tug on my sleeve, and looked down. Kaya, one of the youngest girls and the only one who still pronounced her ‘l’s as w’s, was staring up at me with wide eyes.
"Tora, can we pwease, pwease, pwease pway on Appa?" She asked in a small voice, her blue eyes shining up at me. "Sokka’s no fun when he’s training…"
I literally felt my heart melt (Good... Good...) as I stared at her. “Alright.” I said, smiling at her. My smile grew even wider as she gave me a big grin, showing off the gap in her teeth caused by a missing tooth, and raced off with the other kids to play on Appa.
After a moment, I ran after them. “Hey! Don’t leave me alone with the butthead!” I yelled, ignoring Sokka when he suddenly yelled a protest.
~~Water~~ (Let's make a deal. you quit saying that, and I compliment you once. here it goes.)
Later – Zuko’s Ship (See, that genuinely is a better transition. naming The setting. Now keep up your end of the deal!)
Zuko looked through his telescope silently, watching the blur of orange and yellow carry a dot of bright blue – most likely someone from the Water Tribe that was nearby. “He’s quite agile for his old age.” He muttered to himself. Pulling his eye away from the telescope, he turned towards a nearby servant – one of the few he had been able to take with him from the Fire Nation. “Wake my uncle. And tell him…” He looked back across the icy terrain, his eyes following the Avatar carefully. “I’ve found the Avatar.” He carefully traced his eyes over the snow, and found a small village of scattered tents and igloos – the Southern Water Tribe. “As well as his hiding place.”
Be sure to join us next time, As the author misnames the chapter, implies things too early on, and tora.. does the unthinkable... CURSES. This has been Jacknerdieth Reviews. Stay nerdy!
