With.Everything.

C'mon then, c'mon....I figured it out. Ganbarimasu! OT5 FOREVER.

[nerds4life]

The train ride in took forever this morning.

I messaged Soul Mate I was running late and asked him to wait for me.

The train then got to his station and sat there for longer than it should have, so I messaged him to tell him.

It continued to sit there, and as the doors were about to close, he stepped into the train and leaned on the door across from me.

I was staring at him, grinning, waiting for him to catch my eye.

Instead he looked all around me, sighed, looked stressed and looked down.

So I asked what was going on, and he looked up and smiled at me.

His face lightened up when he saw me. He didn’t tell me what was wrong, but what a weird situation it was.

I get that he didn’t expect to see me, but why did he look like that?

Anyways, I told him about my messages and it was only then that he looked at his phone to read them.

He denied anything was wrong when I probed again on our ride home.

[nerds4life]

I was in an office near Growing Fond’s, was deep in HR paperwork and all of a sudden, Growing Fond is standing behind my chair, bent over very close to my head and making a comment while staring at my computer.

He was so up in my space.

When other men have done this, I react by bristling, but this time I didn’t even flinch.

We had a fire alarm, and the two of us walked down and then back up our 30 flights of stairs together. We sweat and I intimately know his musk.

Our dynamic sure is something special.

[nerds4life]

Soul Mate had a check up to know what was happening with his health and if he would need surgery.

I checked in before the appointment, told him I’m thinking about him and I wanted an update when all was done.

All of a sudden he calls, so I get somewhere private hoping for the good news I’ve been praying for.

Instead, he tells me he is going to the ER and may need emergency surgery so he will be unreachable.

All day, I am stressed but continuing to work and keep the information private because that’s how I am.

Our big boss’ staff messaged and asked for an update. I had none, but I was amused that she knew I’d know what was happening. I was pleased he’d taken the time to call me while messaging them the update.

I ended the day with family and checked to see if there were any updates, and there he was, saying all is fine.

I tell him to take it easy, and he tells me he will see me in person tomorrow. It is a moment I love his need for normalcy.

So I am thrilled and tell him I will wait wherever, because this is the third significant time this man has caused me stress due to his health.

This morning, he waited for me. I was so relieved to see him. He filled me in, and we went back to life as usual.

I informed him that he owes me for all the stress he has put me through this year between his health and promoting douche and he laughed but he knows me enough to know I am not joking.

We ended up too close, so I put physical space between us, but I am happy to have him back.

[fullcravings]

Brown Butter S'mores Chocolate Chip Cookies

[lucy-the-wyrm]

Because when I think about my life fifty years from now, I hear you whispering my name.

Love Me Knot - Jo Chambliss

[mohawke035]

[thoughtkick]

“Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.”

— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

[remember-----me]

[litandlifequotes]

You always seek to control others when you are not in full ownership of yourself.

Just as I Am by Cicely Tyson

[that-suicidal-femme]

What if I never get over you? What if I never move on? What if I still love you from hundreds of miles and months of silence away? What if no matter what happens or if we never talk again there is still a place in my heart for you? What then?

[thoughtcascades]

i am tired of almost. almost happy. almost loved. almost understood. almost safe. almost myself

[zibethrose]

Know that your self-regard influences your sense of Self. A healthy self-regard typically allows one to challenge negative experiences by being confident and nurturing oneself in ways that are indicative of how deserving of respect you feel you are.

Honoring yourself is to be committed to your right to live a good life.

Remember your worthiness is innate, dependent on nothing outside of you.

[mythologyofblue]

“Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer.”

-Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

[boxandgardens]

May God help us see that everyone we meet is our neighbor, another human created by Him and deserving of our aid.

Our Daily Bread

[intertwinedquotes]

Sometimes the new beginning isn’t the opportunity. It’s the version of you that finally believes you deserve it.

i n t e r tw i n e d Quotes.

[nerds4life]

Things to Remember

Growing Fond and I talk daily. About many things. Personal and work related. In this instance, we were talking about his future plans with his girlfriend, and I asked about timing for the engagement, because they are overdue! He said I didn’t need to be shy and if I proposed to him he’d definitely say yes.

Took me back to (engagement) ring shopping I had done with In-Another-Life (instigated by him when we were at the mall) and how that moment, like this one, was both shocking and amusing.

Finally, Soul Mate and I hadn’t seen each other yet one day, and he didn’t catch my eye when I was looking at him during the meeting. After he made small talk with others and was getting ready to head out, he made it a point to look at me and wave bye. I appreciated that.

Another day, he was in a really good mood even though he had to get home for family celebrations, he took 30 extra seconds and went around the revolving doors an extra time to make me laugh.

Even though these men are not MY man, they are pretty great additions to my life.

[nerds4life]

Today, we missed each other in the morning because I thought he had a late start, so I gave myself a slow start but he had gone in at his usual time.

He vowed we’d make it up for our return trip, and he had an end of day off site appt, so we had to coordinate.

He told me where to meet, and I was a bit slow so was going to jump onto the train and walk to where he was, but he thought I didn’t make it so he actually got off the train to look for me.

While it’s something I do, it was nice that he reciprocated it to me.

It’s moments like this I think he cares and really does pay attention.