A well-timed message from the universe after a total sobbing mental collapse last night. I spent four hours yesterday filling out social security paperwork about what I can do now that I couldn’t do before and what my life is like day-to-day because of my conditions. That put my head on a loop of, “...it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” and, “What happens if I don’t get better,” and, “Why wouldn’t those fucking doctors just listen to me for all those months?!” You get the idea... So here’s the thing: I can keep swimming in all of that fear and anxiety or try to convince myself that shit IS going to be more than OK on the other side of all of this and that being a person who does all of the right things in the right way is going to pay off. I’d rather believe that making my health and wellness my full time job now, in the short term, will allow me to fulfill all kinds of dreams and make all kinds of awesome things happen in the long term... than to allow myself to believe that nothing is ever going to be ok again. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t have the occasional sobbing mental collapse. And thank goodness I have friends like my gal Cindil to talk me back from the mental ledge when I can’t do it for myself. True friends are a special kind of treasure. If you are having one of those breakdowns and need someone to talk to that gets it, reach out. We Spoonies must stick together. #nerdzilla #nerdherd #businesscouch #businesscasual #businesswoman #blogger #bloggersofinstagram #writersofinstagram #chronicpainwarrior #spinepainwarrior #degenerativediscdisease #spoonie #piriformissyndrome #rehab #health #skincare #beauty #muletown #muletownusa #columbiatn #muletowner #changeYourFingLife (at Muletown Rec)