Boat Foods @nereocyst - Tumblr Blog

Various entities from the Margaretverse.

1. A stunch puffin, native to the Klegg River basin. Stunch puffins secrete stunch, a highly sought-after ingredient in Mudgement cuisine

2. Flenda Thruxmoist, Archmadam of St. Yugma's Academy for Increasingly Pungent Minstrels and wielder of the Preglance.

3. Spummdaddy, part of the lineage of deities that includes Opra Poapra

4. A hendrengeamunket. Its kink is inserting pebbles into its uncountable orifices.

5. Rinderpest, son of Megræt and highly unremarkable normal elephant.

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frumpytaco

Opra Poapra, lemon soap-ra Fell in love with Deepak Chopra Opra Poapra, lemon soap-ra Had a falling out with Deepak Chopra Opra Poapra, lemon soap-ra Fell in love with EmPtA pOmPtA

The Devil swallowed and regurgitated six snails…

An adequate being of mediocre power, Opra Poapra wormed her way into the sticky folds of the universe as a larva, where, 10 billion years ago, she germinated and grew into her current form. She spends most of her time telepathically connecting with mortals on Earth and Ploapatopia in feeble attempts to make shady deals with them in order to gain access to Freon, which she craves incessantly. She subsists entirely on canned mung beans. For the first 9.9999965 billion years of her life, she starved, because mung beans hadn’t evolved yet.

Oprah Winfrey (née Glünderford Menguidorde Winfrey prior to her ascension) is a talk show host who made a pact with Opra Poapra in order to gain the Gift of Abundance. One day the power will become too much for her, and she will detonate in an explosion of hot clam chowder. Ms. Winfrey has a separate pipe in her kitchen sink that contains a wormhole to Opra Poapra’s corner of the universe, into which she pours the Freon from every refrigerator she has ever owned.

10,000 years ago, Opra Poapra encountered EmPtA pOmPtA in a particularly viscous region, and immediately fell in love. Since then, Opra Poapra has been using the deceased souls of grandmothers to fashion poorly-constructed effigies of EmPtA pOmPtA, known as Proapters, in an attempt to woo her. The Proapters are supposed to do EmPtA pOmPtA’s bidding, but her desires are unknown even to them, so they mostly float miserably through space, occasionally getting sucked into black holes.

To this day, EmPtA pOmPtA has no idea who Opra Poapra is.

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Pandemic collages

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Mar Stargaret "The Bubbling Ulcer of the Ninth Seas" Creator, Thread, Vengeful, birth heralded by the ascent of a blue Star in the sky

The sixth daughter of EmPtA pOmPtA, Mar Stargaret is perhaps her most skilled, able to crochet together the vibrating strings of reality into living beings and other objects using her five tails. Most notably, she was forced to create the planet Ploapatopia by her older sister Moose Margaret after she fled Earth. To this day, Moose Margaret insists that she created Ploapatopia herself “with a shovel and ten bricks”, and refuses to give Mar Stargaret any credit.

As revenge, Mar Stargaret populated Ploapatopia with a variety of awful fauna, each of which has its own distinctive kink. These creatures, when not pursuing their perverse sexual desires, are at war with the mums and other citizens of Mudgement, laying siege to its ever-expanding walls. In certain cases, the animals’ kinks are aligned with their destructive purpose. For instance, the mingrels derive intense sexual pleasure from knocking down buildings, although they average 3 feet in height, and the Margaretfuckers will attack temples in order to copulate with statues of Moose Margaret.

Mar Stargaret is a nomadic being who flies between worlds, rarely touching down except to Mark people with her soft, spongy snout, which secretes a blue pigment. Marked individuals experience a strong desire to climb tall mountains or buildings, and once there, begin emitting a sound described as “a bagpipe in reverse” until they die of starvation or exposure.

Because she lives in space, Mar Stargaret does not have an official following, but a group of mums who call themselves the Moose Manglers broke from the rest of the Moose-Margaret-worshipping mums to worship her, and face extreme persecution as a result. Mar Stargaret does not acknowledge them.

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EmPtA pOmPtA

The Wiggling Wisdom, She Who Stomps On Stars, God’s Hernia

EmPtA pOmPtA is a being of unknown origin and unknown purpose. She exists hidden within the stickiest folds of the universe as a 600-foot-tall elephantine being with a 1,000-foot “wingspan”. Her single giant, red eye stares straight ahead through time and space, blinking in time with the deaths of stars. She also lives in the body of the unwitting 85-year-old Brufelda Squagmosa of Spring City, Utah, married to JohnMatthew Porkfellow.

Although EmPtA pOmPtA is married on earth to a human male, she has been producing children for the past 8,000 years without any assistance. She has seven daughters, all named Margaret, and one Unwanted Son, who was produced accidentally when she stepped on a white dwarf, crushing it. Unlike their mother, the daughters are able to directly influence humans on Earth and elsewhere, and are worshipped as deities by many. Their power is nothing compared to the abilities of EmPtA pOmPtA, however.

EmPtA pOmPtA created the secret language all grandmothers speak when they’re alone.

In the sticky folds of the universe, EmPtA pOmPtA is endlessly courted by another being of great power, Opra Poapra. When grandmothers die, Opra Poapra transforms them into Proapters, pitiful beings designed in an attempt to recreate the form of EmPtA pOmPtA as a display of affection. The Proapters are supposed to do EmPtA pOmPtA’s bidding, but her desires are unknown even to them, so they mostly float miserably through space, occasionally getting sucked into black holes.

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