Was trying to find clips of Zephyr so I could get a bit of a comparison between him and the other ghouls for height and shit and I think I just found the exact moment he was forming his first thought
This was like a 10 second clip where he was perfectly still like this
Pt. 9 is taking a while because of coaplay crunch + doing a commission for a friend that is putting me through the ringer. Also, work has killed my sinuses so I had to get new meds and finally recovered from fatigue.
9 is also gonna be split up into two parts because of how long i'm making it but when they're done, they'll both be posted at the same time.with the image limit on tumblr and Ko-fi, it'll be formatted that way. Tiktok has a cap of like 32 pics so I'm good there.
Secondo and Omega are still a little tense.... It's a good thing Alpha is coming along with them to make sure they don't kill each other. 🤗 🙌
Chapter 16 will be coming out next week!! 🥳🥳 I'm very excited!! I hope you all will like it!! 💜💜💜 (I have gone cross eyed so many times drawing this one for some reason 😵💫)
Characters: Papa Perpetua, Omega, Phantom, Cirrus (mentioned), Storm (mentioned), Frater Imperator (mentioned), Mr. Psaltarian (mentioned)
Pairings: None
TW: Panic Attacks (I don't think I need a tag warning but just to be safe)
My Pencil is still broken so I wrote a fanfic with 2 nights. Context, this is during the Skeletour, Omega went with the group for the museum but also to support Perpetua. When I finish my little comic this will make more sense.
Ao3
◇◇◇
“Brrrring! Brrrring! Brrrring! The person you are calling is unavailable. Please try again lat-” The mocking red button, once again, was his answer. Another call, another dance with the automated voicemail. Every time he tries to call Frater- his brother, it wouldn't go through.
Perpetua thought that maybe today would be different, the fact that the group got to the venue early, set everything up, had decent food would mean that he would finally be able to talk to his brother. But alas, as Perpetua slid down the wall of his dressing room in utter defeat, it was not that day. He didn't get it, Mr. Psaltarian said there wasn't anything wrong with the phone service on either of their ends, and Frater wasn't terribly busy either. So why? Why in Satan's hellish domain can he never talk to his brother? He just wanted to hear his voice, to hear him say “good luck” or “you got this”. He needed to hear that he was doing okay.
But what if he wasn't? What if Frater was so utterly disgusted by his performance that the thought of hearing Perpetua made his skin crawl? He didn't know what his brother thought of him. They've still never fully met, only speaking through a door and messages passed through Mr. Psaltarian. His quarters were on the opposite side of the Abbey, time being swallowed up by recording and practices. It was impossible for Perpetua to cross paths with his brother. All this time, he didn't know what Copia thought of him, if he was a disappointment to him. If he hated him.
Perpetua's chest hurt at just the thought, gripping his bare hand against the silky fabric dress shirt he wore suddenly feeling heavier than it should, constricting over his chest. The air turned to poison in his lungs, unable to breathe right as everything began to close in on him. The dressing room looked like it came straight from the pit, static noise filling his ears, his tears turning into lava. Perpetua knew he was panicking but had a hard time stopping once it started. In the past, he would just let it run its course until he passed out or puked. But they had little time before the show started. Water. He needed water. His cup was on a counter, far enough away for the need to get up and walk over there. But for him it was miles away, and his legs didn't work. All he could manage was collapsing on his side as he tried desperately to reach for his water, gasping for air as he clawed the ground in frustration and pain.
Perpetua's eyes had blurred from the tears, the sheer strain he was feeling overwhelming all of his senses. He just barely felt the rush of cool air hit his sweat laden skin and the ground thumping beneath. A hand placed firmly on his shoulder, claws just barely piercing through his skin as he was shaken and incoherent words being shouted in his ear. Warm hands cradled his head, lifting him to sit back against the wall, the cold plaster sort of shocking his vision back to normal for moment. Perpetua could see the visage of Phantom without his mask and holding his shoulders, saying something that he could hear over the sound of his heart pounding and choking. Cirrus to his left, looking around for something, and what he thought was Storm having darted out of the room. Phantom kept shouting, begging him for something. He couldn't tell, his lungs itching to be clawed out of his chest.
A much larger figure with a silver mask appeared, pushing Phantom away harshly before feeling rougher and larger hand over his own. They weren't pulling his hands from his chest or putting any pressure, just a layer of warmth over his pulse.
“Papa Emeritus. Hands behind your head.” The gravelly voice spook, softer and calmer than Phantom. Perpetua couldn't tell who it was, it wasn't one of his ghouls, but he obliged through gasps and choking of air. He raised his arms, feeling the weight baring down on his shoulders. Another hand came up to guide his ow, he could feel, placing them neatly against the knave of his neck. That same hand came around to lift the strap over his head carefully, sliding his half mask and setting it on the floor, returning that hand to the side of his temple, once again, being gentle. “Inhale through your nose. And exhale through your mouth. You can do it, Papa.”
He tried, twitching and gasping as he desperately sought air that forever escaped him. But the voice was patient, repeating those instructions slowly and calmly. Through fiery tears and pained gasps, his breathing started to calm, and his chest didn't feel as tight, allowing him to register who was helping. The Meliora Era Ghoul, Omega, was kneeling over him, his large form filling his vision. He tried to speak, but his throat fell like hot sand, coughing and bitting his tongue
“Shh. Don't speak. You, Storm, grab that water bottle.” Omega said, his thumb rubbing slow circles against Perpetua's jaw, releasing the tension he unknowingly built up. Deep breaths, out through his mouth, his lip quivering. But he was calmer now, small hiccups of soft sobs escaping his teeth. “Shhh, you're fine. You're safe. Drink some water, but slowly.” The cool plastic opening of a bottle rested against his lip, slowly tilting upward to allowing Perpetua to drink. The water stung as it entered his throat, coughing through it a few times before he could take a proper drink.
Omega set the bottle down next to him, still holding the side of his face, those humanoid eyes filled with concern. “Okay. Three things you can touch. Can you tell me?” The ghoul asked, his voice soft and quiet. It was strange to see one of the toughest ghouls acting so gentle with anyone, let alone him.
Perpetua obliged, navigating his hand over his pants, “My. . . My pants. The floor, and my gloves.” the last thing feeling extremely sweaty by now.
“Good. Now, three things you can see.” Omega said, bringing his hand away from Perpetua's face and down to hold his hands, still not putting much pressure on the small things.
“You, my ghouls, and. . . My Cassock hanging on the hanger.” Perpetua's throat started feeling better, less rough and more open. He breathed out a sigh of exhaustion, tears that had stilled falling down his cheeks, sniffling after having went through such a scary event. He's never been able to calm down from one before, didn't know how to deal with one safely. They didn't help him before he joined the Ministry. “I'm sorry.”
Omega shook his head, leaning down and bringing Perpetua's hands to mask, right where his mouth would be. He then put pressure in his palms, rubbing circles in his leather gloves. “There is nothing to apologize for. This happens to the best of us.” The Ghoul then shifted to sit against the wall next to him, holding an arm up to welcome poor Perpetua into his arms. Perpetua took him up on that offer, preferring the stable body over the cold wall. He sniffled, wiped his tears, and closed his eyes to further ground himself. “Storm grabbed me. Good thing he did. You're not the only Papa who has dealt with this. Everyone before you has had many a panic attack. Terzo had several.” Perpetua felt his other arm wrap around his body, pulling the man closer and slightly rocking him, his eyes open to look at the other ghouls in the room. “I'm sure your ghouls will tell you how many your brother had.”
“So many.” Phantom piped up, clapping his hand over his mouth when he replied so bluntly. “I mean. . . Yeah, no. That's true. Cop- Frater Imperator had really rough ones. Sometimes he would go backstage after a song to have one. Something about the heat and moving around too much triggered them.” Phantom crawled closer, patting his knees nervously. “I still have ice packs from that tour if you wanna use them. Just mind your eyes! The face paint mixing with the water stings, trust me. Frater made that mistake many a time.”
Perpetua let out a little snort, burying his face in Omega's chest at Phantom's comment. The tone shift to a more lighthearted feeling. Perpetua could relax again and forget about what he was so afraid of for the time being.
“Alright, the rest of you, clear out for us? Phantom, would you let the stage crew that the show will be delayed?” Omega said, Phantom responded with an enthusiastic head shake, followed by him scratching Perpetua's knee lightly before getting up and parading the other ghouls out of the room. He made sure to close the door behind them, leaving the two alone for the time being.
Perpetua nuzzled Omega's chest once again before leaning away, not making eye contact but looking towards the ground. “I didn't mean for that to happen. One minute I'm trying to call Copia, the next I'm on the ground. It happened so fast, and it hurt so much- is what you said true? They all used to get like this?”
Omega's hand rested under Perpetua's chin, raising it, using his other hands to fix the man's hair and wipe tears away from his eyes. “Yes. Like Phantom said, your brother had many. I didn't witness them since I stationed myself in the museum. But the other three Papa's? Primo would walk around his dressing room doing breathing exercises to mask his harsh breathing. Secondo would sit completely still and shut down, like a statue. Terzo-” Omega cleared his throat, now his turn to look away. “He would put his head down and talk to himself until his eyes were red and cheeks stained with tears. It took time to figure out what helped each of them. And even longer to get them into a routine to help prevent or minimize their attacks.”
Perpetua shifted a little, sighing. “I have these every now and then. And they'll keep happening. I don't want to rely on you guys for support.”
“Perpetua Emeritus the Fifth, there is a reason why us ghouls exist. Yes, we are performers, but were are much more. Fighters, healers, council." Omega looked back at Perpetua. “We are here for you. We wouldn't be doing this just because we were summoned to serve you. We do this because we want to protect you.”
A fresh set of tears bubbled at his eyes. “Really?”
Omega shrugged. “Well, I sure hope so.”
A silent pause before the two erupted into laughter.
Omega, through his mouthless mask, leaned his temple against the wall. “What do you say? Can I help you reapply your ritual make up? You smeared it. A lot.”
Perpetua quickly grabbed his dropped phone, seeing his face in the reflection of the black screen. “Wha- damn it, I didn't mean for this to get so bad.”
“Good thing you have that mask to cover it up. Mostly.”
