Proud sponsor of my life

I constantly live inside my head. • MaDD has taken over 100% • pfp and background pic are one of my most prized para's. 💚 (Let me make this clear for the dummies—the pics are not me, nor are they mine. They are just face claims for my para)

[maddcastle]

✨ new madd asks ✨

(most of these are meant to inspire long, in-depth answers, but feel free to answer however you wish. whatever makes you feel comfortable!)

1. Do you use a repetitive motion to stimulate daydreams (rocking, pacing, etc.)? What is it/are they? Can you daydream without repetitive movement?

2. Do your daydreams get violent? How do you feel about them? How do you respond to them?

3. When are your daydreams the happiest?

4. Do you daydream in first person perspective? Do you have a parame/avatar?

5. Do you have (a) linear daydream(s)? How long has it/have they been running?

6. How did you discover you had madd? How do you feel about it?

7. How do you feel about your characters/paras? Have you ever fallen in love with them?

8. Do you know any other MD’ers personally?

9. How did you feel about it before you knew what maladaptive daydreaming was? Did you think it was something everybody does or that you were unique?

10. What most influences your daydreams? Realtime events? Books? Movies?

(note: i’m aware some are more comfortable with terms like character or person, but for simplicity i have elected to use the term “para.” please, feel free to respond with the terms you prefer.)

11. If you have a parame, please describe them. Are they much like you? How do you feel about them?

12. Do you have favorite paras? Why are they your favorites?

11. How old are the majority of your paras?

12. If you could give your paras any advice, what would you tell them?

13. Do your paras appear in a style other than realistic? For example, like anime or in the style of a video game?

14. Do you have OCs?

15. Are any of your paras adopted from existing fiction? From real life?

16. Where do you get names for your paras?

17. Do your paras have tragic backstories? Will you share a few?

18. Are any of your paras deceased? How did they die? How did you feel?

19. Are your paras human? Mortal?

20. Have any of your paras ever completely disappeared/vanished from the daydream world? Is there a story behind it or was it an unconscious occurrence? Do you think they might return? Do you want them to?

21. Have your characters commit crime? Have they been to jail? Are they legally innocent? Are they socially innocent?

22. Do your paras often find themselves in dangerous situations? How/why? Do they go looking for trouble? Does trouble look for them?

23. What do you associate with your paras? Colors? Smells? Words?

24. Has a para ever broken your heart? Have you ever broken theirs (through a parame)?

25. Has a para ever made you physically cry?

26. Do you act out your daydreams? Do you speak to/through your paras out loud?

27. Have you ever been caught daydreaming?

28. What do you most dislike about being a maladaptive daydreamer? Are there things you like about it?

29. Briefly describe a daydream.

30. Do you daydream to music? Is music a necessity to daydream? Do you wear headphones? How loud do you keep the volume?

31. Do you have models/faceclaims for your paras?

32. Does daydreaming energize or exhaust you?

33. Do you think there is a pattern/correlation between your daydreams and how you daydream them? For example, are your daydreams more violent when you’re lying down?

34. Do you have distinct daydream triggers? Do your daydreams come and go as they please?

35. Does your mood affect the amount of time you spend daydreaming? Or their intensity?

36. Have you ever had daydream block? How did you feel? How did you break it?

37. Have you ever had abusive paras? If it is not too sensitive to share, will you tell us about your experience with them?

38. Do your paras directly affect you in thisverse? Do you only interact with them in fictional scenarios or do you find yourself reaching for them in realtime, too? For example, do you converse with them mentally when facing a difficult situation?

39. Do you only daydream fantasy? Do you dream about thisverse?

40. Do you do research for your daydreams? How much? How often? How deep?

41. What was your first maladaptive daydreaming experience? Do you remember it? How did you feel about it?

42. When did you know what you did was different?

43. Do you ever daydream through the perspectives of paras of the opposite sex? How is it?

44. Do you experience any confusion between fantasy and reality? Does daydreaming leave you in a haze or in a dazed state?

45. If you have a parame, do you experience any dysphoria because of them? 

46. Do you ever rewind your daydreams and re-daydream old material?

47. Do you remember your daydreams in detail?

48. Do you edit your daydreams? To what extent? How often/how much does your brain block you from controlling things?

49. Do you get excited when you see or hear a para’s name in thisverse? When you see someone who looks like them? When you see something you associate with them?

50. How might you describe maladaptive daydreaming to someone who does not experience it?

[nessetarian]

Reposting cos it got buried.

[madd-information]

Have you watched Kati Morton's new video about Maladaptive Daydreaming? What do you think about it?

[intro]

For years, I believed maladaptive daydreaming to be a form of dissociation, but it could also be added to the DSM as its own diagnosis, since it does have its own set of unique symptoms. Either way, at this time maladaptive daydreaming is not listed in the DSM as a diagnosable mental illness.

I was concerned because her last couple videos on the topic were very confusing to watch and seemed to conflate MD with the inner-worlds of DID.  It looks like she has done some more research on it and is going to make a more informed video. This is great and I deeply appreciate that she’s taking the time to do a proper dive into this. 

The closest diagnosis would be DPDR, or depersonalization derealization disorder. And this is the diagnosis given to those of us who struggle with dissociation. [explanation of DPDR]

Gonna need you to source that Katie, I’ve never heard an MD researcher say something like this.  When they talk about MD they call it a behavioral addiction with OCD features which is related to dissociative absorption (different from derealization and depersonalization, these two dissociative experiences are not particularly significant in MD, though they can happen.)

These experiences are extremely common. It's estimated that half of all adults have had at least one episode of DPDR. 50% of people. That is a huge amount of people.

Cool but not sure it’s at all relevant to the video topic. 

Also, it's important to mention that in 2016, four researchers put together the Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale, or MDS. This is a 14-item self-reported scale, meaning that you as the patient answers 14 questions based on your own maladaptive daydreaming experience.

It’s a 16 item scale now, it was changed very early on and has been 16 for years.  This is a very small and forgivable knitpick, just fyi. 

The MDS focuses on the content of our daydreams, how intense the urge to continue daydreaming is, and how much it impairs our ability to function in our lives, and the benefits and costs of our daydreaming. I am not personally familiar with this scale, nor have I used it in my practice, but I've linked the research article in the description if you wanna learn more about it.

A good description, and here’s that link again for anyone who wants to read about the finer details of this scale. 

When it comes to maladaptive daydreaming, it isn't just feeling out of body or environment. We can create very intense and detailed daydreams with plots, characters, and very lifelike issues and storylines. Some people will get the plots for their daydreams from their real lives, while others can create a utopian place unlike their current experience.

Yep, decent overview of content, though content doesn’t matter that much.  Also, use of “we”.  Is Katie Morton an MDer or was this a creative choice?  I don’t know, just a passing thought. 

We can find ourselves staying in these daydreams for various amounts of time. And some of my patients have reported staying in them for hours. And many of you have let me know that you struggle to get out of them at all, spending days in this other life that we've created.

Yep, good overview, but more importantly she’s listening to her patients and the feedback of MDers in her audience.

...there are many causes for this, and the first I wanna address is trauma triggers. If we've experienced a trauma in our life, things that remind us of that time or situation can pull us into a flashback, cause us to dissociate, or in many cases push us into our maladaptive daydreams.

When our brain and the rest of our nervous system feels overwhelmed and unable to deal with what's going on in the moment, it can pull us out of our current situation through dissociation. I always talk about that, like our brain pulling the ripcord. And it can also utilize maladaptive daydreaming. It's a way to cope or get through an overwhelming situation when we don't have other skills to help calm our nervous system down. So we just rely on what we know, and that can be daydreaming or dissociating. It's almost like this coping skill protects us from having to feel traumatized again and so it takes us away, you know, drops us into a much safer and happier place.

Trauma is always talked about first when people do overviews of MD.  She’s not wrong but just to add more information;  about a quarter of MDers report trauma, the other 75(ish)% don’t.  It’s a significant number but trauma is not the only pathway to MD.  Sometimes people walk away from these videos feeling like “well, I don’t have any trauma, maybe I don’t really have MD”.  That’s not a comment on what Katie has presented, she does go into other things below, just adding on.

Another cause or trigger can be high levels of stress or anxiety. We can slowly feel ourselves become more and more overwhelmed until our brain pulls us out of our reality and into a new one, aka our maladaptive daydreams. In short, we can want to stay in these daydreams to feel better and safer, but it can get in the way of us functioning in our life.

Yep

[audience anecdotes]

...Which is why even the term maladaptive daydreaming is used. Maladaptive means it's not providing adequate or appropriate adjustment to the environment or situation. So the daydreaming is only holding off the bad things. It's not actually making anything better or helping us process any of the upset. It's really just a temporary check-out, which can be helpful sometimes, but if it's happening all the time or making it hard for us to focus at work, school, or with our friends and family, we should find other, better ways to cope.

Exactly.

Which moves us into how we can better cope so that we don't get sucked into our daydreams for hours, days, or even weeks. And first up is mindfulness. Now, I know that term is overused now and super annoying but in order for us to know when we even need to use other coping skills, we have to know when the daydreaming urges are happening. So often we aren't aware of what we were feeling or thinking until it's too late and we're already pulled into our daydream. And at that point it's more difficult or even impossible for us to pull ourselves out. Therefore, we have to start being more aware of what we're going through.

[continues explanation]

Perfection.

And so next is figuring out ways to calm our system down. This can take the form of a distraction technique like going for a walk or organizing a part of our home, coloring, watching a show, playing a video game, you name it. These calming things could also be more process-based, things like journaling or talking to your therapist or a friend about it, or even using an impulse log. [Continues with calming things]

Good examples, MD researchers specifically recommend keeping a log.

We're also going to have to find some coping skills that we can use when we're starting to feel overwhelmed and wanting to go back into the daydream. Maybe we hold an ice cube in our hands, clap our hands, count the number of things in the room that are blue, brown, black… whatever works for you, do it.

Good stuff. 

And it's okay for something not to work. We just have to try it to know and then move on to something else.

Important point to make, happy to see this. 

Once we have a few things that work, write them down in your phone or on a post-it note so that you can see it and be reminded when you need it. We will also need to come up with some ways to pull ourselves out of the daydream. And I know this is gonna be harder and we may even wanna call upon helpful and supportive people in our lives to assist us.

Good advise. 

We could, because it's our daydream, right, we could put a big door in our daydream and we can choose to go through it and pull ourselves out, or have people in the daydream that remind us of our real life and tell us to go back.

A good suggestion.  Q, on the Parallel Lives Podcast (I can’t remember which episode off the top of my head), did something like this by turning to his characters and saying “ok, take 5 guys, we’ll pick it up at xtime”, and many people have found that to be a clever and helpful method. 

Now, I know this is really, really hard… which rolls into my final tip, which is to work with a therapist to heal from the trauma or to learn how to better cope with the anxiety or stress we're feeling. Working to heal or process through the reason our maladaptive daydreaming exists in the first place will ensure that we don't need it anymore.

Absolutely seek professional support if you can. 

... if we heal the issue we're struggling to cope with, the urge to use those unhelpful coping skills will go away altogether.

[outro]

I think this last point will frighten a lot of MDers.  It’s probably the brevity of the video that didn’t allow her to really expand on this, and I certainly don’t want to put words into her mouth that she may not have intended.  Don’t be afraid of losing your MD.  “Curing” Maladaptive Daydreaming does not mean “I’ll never see my world again.”  You’ll always have the capacity to daydream like this, you were born this way, but it *doesn’t* have to be maladaptive. Like overeating, you will never not eat, you will fix your relationship with food. 

Good video overall, brief but accurate and includes the standard helpful advise. 

[madd-information]

Does this happen to some daydreamers: not being able to enjoy music unless you daydream to it? Perhaps because you're so used to daydreaming while listening to music, that it feels unnatural to just appreciate music for what it is? Get what I'm saying?

Followers, relate?

[madd-information]

Anonymous said:

sometimes i cant enjoy music unless im capable of daydreaming to it, sometimes i HAVE to make sure its not a song i can daydream to so i can focus more on the real life tasks i have to do (especially when im trying to drive, ill put on trap music or boring radio to avoid zoning out to a daydream)

[madd-information]

im new to this all, but if someone is pulled out of a daydream (for example to leave their room, or run an errand) is it expected for the person to be snappy and aggressive without meaning to or understand why?

Irritation at being interrupted or curbed is a tell-tale sign of MD, it’s so common it’s even in the symptom domain of the (proposed) diagnostic criteria.

[fallingmaddlyinlove]

I was going to take a shower then i accidentally paced for an hour

[inhum3n]

MaDD and the Compensatory Reservoir

The “Compensatory Reservoir” is something I use to describe an aspect of MaDD.  I’ve noticed my use of it in past events. I’ve used MaDD as a coping mechanism all of my life.  I’ve used it to compensate for what I lack in reality.  I can merely delve into my fantastical worlds to fulfill the holes in my head and heart.  It’s a giant reservoir full of ways for me to compensate for my lackings with my present circumstances.  Hence a “Compensatory Reservoir”.  

To put it more simply I’ve noticed that I used my MaDD to enhance present situations.  

Ex.  I was at a friend’s house.  There were three of us.  I am close to both.  We were baking cinnamon rolls.  We were all laughing and yelling at each other.  It was fun.  But I remember suddenly realizing something.  I noticed I was slipping into my daydreaming with my paras.  I don’t remember what I was doing with my paras but it was making me feel really happy and elated.  I tried to stop slipping and focus on reality.  But I suddenly felt less happier.  And that is when I had the upsetting realization that I was using my paracosms and paras to enhance my hang out time with my friends.  I was mistaking that happiness as coming from laughing from my friends and our antics when it really was originating from my paracosms.  I was “tapping” into this “Compensatory Reservoir” to make my present circumstances happier and more enjoyable.

It left me feeling distressed

I noticed it again as of yesterday.  My mom had planned a day out with me.  I was excited.  Yet when it came, I found I had no words to say to her, making it very difficult for me to stay grounded in the present.  I found myself drifting to the reservoir to compensate for the present silence and my inability to start an engaging conversation with my mom.  I was really upset.  I am as I write this.  My mom had taken time and money for me and all I could do was silently stare into space with a blank face.  I was able to force myself to come up with things to talk about…but that reminder of that necessary reservoir stayed with me.

It’s something I’ve struggled with.  It makes me sad, numb, hollow, and kind of hopeless feeling like sometimes.  That without the MaDD I can’t actually be happy in this world.  That I need to be able to tap that reservoir to be happy in reality.

[mdconfessions]

Yes!! I never knew other people had this issue!

[nessetarian]

OOF, relatable. I'm sorry others go through this as well. It honestly sucks.

[tales-from-the-waiting-room]

Yeah, the dependence eating your time, ruining your relationships, and making you neglect yourself and your needs are definitely a big part of the miserable side of MADD. But I don’t see a lot of people talking about 

The loss of identity from containing dozens of massively different personalities, each with their own mannerisms, voice, beliefs/practices etc

Your body feeling alien because you’re not your paraself

Loss of memory; memories being replaced with events from your paracosm

Becoming unaware of your surroundings, zoning out for weeks and just getting deeper and deeper in your paracosm to substitute

Life starting to feel like a movie because of the semi-controlled and cinematic nature of daydreams warping your perception of everything

Predisposition to mood swings from oscillating between paracosm and thisverse quickly and oftenly

On the other hand, complete numbness; especially in paracosm, when your paras can’t cheer you up/take your mind off things anymore

Like I don’t know, maybe that’s me conflating MADD with other things. Just feel like they’re connected

[madd-information]

Would you mind telling me all the terms (para, parame, etc) associated with MaDD and Immersive Daydreaming? Thank you :’)

Acronyms AU Alternate Universe OC Original Character

DD Daydream

ICMDR International Consortium for Maladaptive Daydreaming Research

IM/IMer Immersive Daydreaming (sometimes seen as ID)

MaDD/Madder Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (this is a Tumblr tag which people sometimes use in place of ‘MD’)

MD/MDer Maladaptive Daydreaming

MDS Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale Terms

[Daydream] Block (citation needed)Term adapted from ‘writers block’.  A temporary state during which the MDer experiences an inability to create or proceed with their fantasy plot, sometimes resulting in a distressing failure to immerse themselves in daydreaming as they are accustomed to.

[Daydream] Binge  An occasion when an activity is done in an extreme way.

[Daydream] Crash (source) When a person comes down from their daydream world or escapism and reality hits them.  Alternatively, when daydreams no longer have the same effect they used to, and the MDer has to prolong that good feeling by revisiting their escapism or face negative experiences associated with facing reality.

Coping Skill/Strategy/Mechanism (source) To invest one’s own conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict. Can be adaptive or maladaptive.

Faceclaim (source) A term used in role play games to describe a person used for the physical description of a character. Some MDers note that they used the faces of TV characters, actors or public figures to create their fantasies.

Distress (source) Occurs when we have excessive adaptive demands placed upon us; the demands upon us are so great that they lead to bodily and mental damage. Distress is damaging, excessive or pathogenic (disease producing) stress.  Required for a ‘diagnosis’ of MD. 

Idealized-Self (source) An Idealized version of yourself created out of what you have learned from your life experiences, the demands of society, and what you admire in your role models.

International Consortium for Maladaptive Daydreaming Research (source) Website designed to promote scientific knowledge on MD by fostering studies on the developmental trajectories, phenomenology, psychopathology, brain function and treatment of MD. Also to understand the trait of immersive daydreaming, the non-pathological form of absorptive daydreaming, and its psychological and brain features.

Immersive Daydreaming (source) Fantasizing in a state of dissociative absorption, which is not inherently disordered or maladaptive. MD represents a subset of Immersive Daydreaming.

Kinesthetic Activity/Repetitive Movement (source) Movement which stimulates or prolongs an MDer’s fantasy state.

[Daydream] ]Loop (citation needed)  Experience of becoming trapped within a daydream scene which repeats itself over and over again in a cyclic loop for an extended period of time, causing frustration to the daydreamer. 

Maladaptive Daydreaming (source) Extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal, or vocational functioning.

Maladaptive [Behavior] (source) Actions or tendencies that don't allow an individual to adjust well to certain situations. Typically disruptive and dysfunctional behaviors can range from mild to severe in scope, used as a means of reducing mental discomfort and anxiety but are not effective and can sometimes make it worse. 

Pace/Pacer (source) Walk at a steady and consistent speed, especially back and forth and as an expression of one's anxiety or annoyance. Most common movement among MDers, other movements include jumping, swinging, hand movements etc. See also kinesthetic movement, stereotypic movement.

Para (source) Any character in a paracosm, typically one the MDer has a strong attachment to. (Tumblr coined)

Paracosm (source) A detailed imaginary world, often originating in childhood.  

Parame (source) The character one MDs as. May or may not also be the paraself.  (Tumblr coined)

Para(girlfriend/husband/brother/mother etc) (source)The girlfriend/husband/brother/mother etc of ones parame.  (Tumblr coined)

Paraself (source) The daydream version of the MDer’s self. (Tumblr coined)

Somer, Eli (source) The clinical psychologist who discovered MD and coined the term “maladaptive daydreaming”, director of the ICMDR.

Plz remember that ppl with adhd (and probably some other disorders) are slow to process things. So if we ask you to repeat something 100 times its not cuz we wanna piss you off or that we cant hear you. Its just that we havent processed what you said so your words sound all garbly and make no sense.

[howtobeapersonwithfibro]

friendly reminder that being disabled is a full-time job. don’t let anyone make you feel bad for not working when you are physically incapable. you work harder than anyone else just to keep up with your day-to-day life.

[thoradvice]

it's okay to eat.

it's okay to eat if you've already eaten today.

it's okay to eat if you haven't excerised today.

it's okay to eat if you don't feel like you've "earned" it.

it's okay to eat whatever you want. food has no inherent morality attached to it. eat a cookie, a salad, some noodles - whatever you want. we're trained to see food as the enemy, but it should be so much more! food keeps us alive, and allows us to do every wonderful thing we do every day. food should be your friend. you don't have to earn any type of food, or any at all. food is a necessity.

it's okay to eat. period.

[radioactivescientist-deactivate]

here's a list of things i think abled people should know,, especially since it's disabled pride month!

don't touch someone's mobility aid or try to take it away from them! just because they look "too young" or whatever excuse you make up, doesn't mean they don't need it

don't ask what someone's disabilities are. just,,,,don't

"disabled" isn't a bad word!! most disabled folks get very uncomfy if you use phrases such as "differently abled", "physically challenged", or anything of the sort

don't give unsolicited medical advice, especially if you're,,i don't know,,,not a trained professional??? i don't care if your great aunt ruth got better with yoga, i tried, it makes things worse

if you're on a bus, give up your seat for disabled people

don't use the disabled parking spots and accessible bathrooms, it would help a whole lot

don't make fun of how much/little we sleep. insomnia, fatigue, and not being able to sleep because of pain are all very real (and very shitty) things

i know it's hard but like,,don't stare at people with mobility aids? oh and don't act super awkward around someone JUST because of their mobility aid

if we say we can't do something, don't say "just try harder!" or any variation of that. truth is, we're probably already trying our hardest

listen to disabled people! if we say something is ableist, take time to reflect on yourself. if we say we need help with something whether it be because of a mobility aid or not, try and help out. if we say we can't do something, don't push us to do the thing.

make your stuff accessible!! add captions to videos and movies and add image descriptions to art and pictures!

remember that death is not a fate worse than being disabled and that disabled people are not disposable!

that's all i could think of,,but feel free to add on! :]

[heartofdaydreams]

Tmw your MaDD gives you the vibe of a daydream but doesn't actually let you daydream and you just want to cry

[mdconfessions]

I have never related to anything more...

[nessetarian]

I experienced this yesterday morning and I wanted to scream oh my gosh.

[purple-dreams-of-stars222-deact]

omg i just fucking read somewhere that walking helps with creativity thats why madders walk so much maybe omg omg

[memescog]

Me irl

[doomdaysdecays-deactivated20251]

🙃 if people could stop making maladaptive daydreaming a TiKtOk TrEnD, that would be great.

[nightskiesinparadise]

ah yes, theres nothing more trendy than hurting feet from too much pacing and failing at life. iM sO qUirKy 🥴✌️

[nessetarian]

There's nothing more trendy than quitting your job and dropping out of high school cos you chose daydreaming over all else. Hashtag just Maladaptive Daydreaming things, hahaha so qUirKy✌️😜

[crunchity-munchity]

MaDD is trying to fall asleep for the past two hours but you can't cuz you keep daydreaming about your paras either killing eachother or having sex