Diary Entry: Wed, 18th Oct 17
I’m 24 weeks pregnant already! Our little girl grows strong in my belly. She is kicking and moving around more and more everyday, our little Ivy Elizabeth. Im feeling more content lately. Im beginning to trust in the universe again and feeling so profoundly grateful that life seems to be going the way we want it to. Although perhaps not the direction we had originally planned, but forward nonetheless. Im giving myself over to the calm and letting things pan out how they will. Trusting that we will be exactly where we need to be, in the end.
The weather has been beautiful lately. Really lovely. Autumninal and fresh.
Racks of drying washing in front of our little electric fire has now become a permanent fixture, and if i close my eyes i pretend we are in our own home. Me and Andy snuggled on a vintage fabric sofa with Elijah and Ivy playing at our feet. Their little clothes drying in front of the fire, its dark outside and the clouds are orange and heavy with snow flakes waiting to begin their descent.
The christmas tree is standing proud in the window, although the chocolates and candy canes are no where to be found, the foil and plastic wrappers the only reminents that they were ever there at all. But the colorful flashing lights make beautiful dancing shadows on the ceiling.
The most calming wave of happiness and content washes over me as i sip the mug of thick hot chocolate in my hand. Our little electric steam train is chugging around its track positioned under the christmas tree, eagerly waiting for Santa to leave some gifts there instead.
Happiness, this simple, content feeling is happiness. My children playing inside a world of beautiful imagination, old christmas songs drifting in the air, Andys arms around me as we watch in wonder at Elijahs thriving imagination, and Ivys ability to tap into it and play along with her doting big brother. They are both old souls, they are both all of our goodness and best qualities combined. They will have their moments but they are our perfect. In my mind i smile to myself at the scene playing behind my eyelids like a well rehearsed play, a dream, a wish, a prayer.
With an open heart and a contented soul, i could simply live in a world of revolving autumns and winters. Perfection. No matter how old i grow, the prospect of cold weather, wrapping up warm, hearty foods and the impending christmas season is my ultimate favourite. I feel renewed, and happiest in autumn. I do not long for sun or longer, warmer days. I crave the cold weather, frost and shorter days. The warm feeling of a roaring fire, the smell of dried logs burning and the sound of them cracking and popping in the flames. All good things come with Autumn and winter.
blakekathryn
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline