Skylars Life In Revovery

Hi, all I’m skylar! (In the SKY sys)I’m 30 and agender! (They/ them) I’m interested in podcasts, D&D, magic the gathering, books,and art I have systemic lupus, functional tic disorder, ehlers danlos syndrome, epilepsy, chiari, DID, autism, ADHD, sever OCD, functional Neurologic disorder, and chronic suicidality accompanied with self harm. I tend to be quite friendly when most alters are fronting. But my little is nonverbal and Lex is often very angry triggered by rights violations (mine or other peoples) I’m adopted and am estranged from my adoptive family. My home is a house with my partner (we’re recently engaged!) and three roommates whom are awesome people! Feel free to message me!

[neuro-complicated]

Shitty update time:

Two days ago I was put on CVO (close visual observation) just meaning I had to be in staff sight at all times.

Today my status was upped to 1:1. I have to have staff within 5 feet of me at all times.

I also can’t leave the unit. So no gym, and no cafeteria.

They’ll let me go out on smoke/ vape breaks based on my 1:1s recommendation of my safety.

Anywho

At least my 1:1 tonight is pretty chill.

[neuro-complicated]

The crew drove 1.5 miles each way yesterday to bring me some stuff I needed (even though I wasn’t mentally/ emotionally up for a visit, so they just dropped stuff off) the lady at the front desk said she wouldn’t even send some of my stuff back to the unit because it wasn’t aloud. 1) my markers (understandable) and 2) my tarot cards??? I guess the lady said “we can’t process these because “they might offend people” but, like, people have bibles in here?? If people can have bibles then I should be able to have items to support my spirituality, too.

It’s been over 24 hours and I’m still furious.

[neuro-complicated]

I'm being admitted to the detox unit.

I've been on that unit before and I'm pretty sure you get to use your cell at night on that unit.

Anyway. They're taking forever to take me to the unit. I'm falling asleep but there's no comfortable way to actually sleep in the evaluation room.

I'm hoping I'll be able to actually sleep. I'm getting irritated. But I'm doing my best to not allow Lex to front, but I don't really have a choice who fronts and when.

Humph

Anyway. Hopefully I won't be here through the holidays, but I'm not rushing it this time.

[neuro-complicated]

It’s been a bad week leading up to a late night evaluation at a good inpatient facility. I need them to admit me. I can’t keep myself safe at the moment. I need help. If Sun doesn’t accept me as a patient I’m just going to roll out their front doors and call 911 so I can get to a hospital.

I’m so tired. I’m so miserable. I want to sleep forever.

[neuro-complicated]

I’m stretching the first piercing hole in both ears. I just went up a size to 8G. They are mostly comfortable but I can just barely feel the stretching.

I have to be carful and go slow while stretching my ears into gauges. Because of my EDS if I increase the gauge size too quickly my earlobe could tear.

I’m anxious to get my size up so I can get wooden or crystal plugs! But I have to be patient.

[wickwackity]

PAIRasaurs :D

[neuro-complicated]

I couldn’t find anything in the kitchen that I could eat (between general sensory issues and my ARFID) so I just made myself a cup of coffee and I’m going to light some clove incense and work on my abstract art project.

I slept in late.

I felt really good yesterday but I woke up today with another fever so I’m just taking it easy.

Another day is here, let’s make the most of it.

[fluffysheeps]

Prehistoric 🦖🦕✨

[bitter-doses]

the urge to disappear to see if anyone notices

[herpsandbirds]

Red-bordered Pixie (Melanis pixe), family Riodinidae, Misson, Rio Grande Valley of South TX, USA

photograph by Terry Mortier

[noahkirschtein]

i hate that the phrase "netflix and chill" became code for sex cause wtf is my asexual ass meant to say if i just wanna chill and watch TV shows now ??

hey you wanna chill and watch netflix (NOT SEX) ?

[neuro-complicated]

Panic attacks aRE FUCKING HELL

[neuro-complicated]

I’m kept out of another ‘tism rizz group conversation.

I feel less, and less a part of the family everyday.

[spicymochi]

sleepy toothless

[neuro-complicated]

4:07pm 12/9/24

I am struggling so much. And I’m suffering silently because other people in the house are suffering, too.

I’m so depressed. I’m sad. The things that I normally enjoy are no longer bringing me joy. (anhedonia) I don’t have the energy to deal with these intruding thoughts. It’s getting harder, and harder not to act on some of these intrusive thoughts. I keep taking breaks into my bedroom to punch myself then rock back and forth and groaning (as usual)

I want to die. Nobody knows, and if they did they would care. Suffering silently and suffering BG alone.

And the hallucinations. They seem so die down in high stimulation situations. But they’re back.

I hate myself.

[lgbtqiatext]

[zegalba]

Ron Van Dongen: Viola 'Black Prince’ (1998)