Tumblr Posts sentence starters
“If you think about it in the shower, you’re not over it.”
“Skin is just people crust.”
“When I die I want my heart donated to NASA so they can finally see what a black hole looks like up close.”
“Pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your driver’s license photo so when you hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead.”
“One of my clearest highschool memories is of the time I asked my freshman bio teacher what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said ‘Assassinated.’“
“Who needs ghosts? Haunt your own house. Wander around your own living room wailing and crying.”
“Whatever entity made this is descending into hell as we speak.”
“Wait. If you have social anxiety, and I have social anxiety, then who’s going to order the food?”
“How do you unsubscribe from anxiety?”
“People who tell me i shouldn’t drink lava: the media. People who lie: the media. Conclusion: i am going to drink lava.”
“Threw a boomerang like six years ago and it never came back so now I live in constant fear.”
“Ok how do you politely tell someone you want to hit them with a brick?”
“Have you ever met the human version of a headache?”
“I’ve got 99 problems and being a decaying organism that’s born to die in a society run by money that I can’t escape is one of them.”
“That sounds like responsibility and i want no part in it.”
“When they show a scene from two seasons ago in the ‘previously on’ you know something fishy is about to happen.”
“Being a pessimist is great, I’m always either right or pleasantly surprised.”
“Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.”
“Every book you’ve ever read is just a different combination of 26 letters.”
“I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit!”
jimmyeatworldofficial
titsay
turnnoffyourmind
origamiaround
yousharknotpass
