I open my window and all i see are eyes.
Eyes looking at me. Watching me.
I try to open my mouth, to say something, to have small talk like I’ve always practiced in the mirror but my voice won’t come out, my words are falling over each other and I quickly close the window.
A failure. First thing in the day and I’ve already failed.
I put on clothes that are not for my eyes but the eyes out there and i look at my face so the eyes out there won’t find faults in it.
My face is covered in faults, i try to fix some but some simply can’t be fixed. ~It’s who i am~
Second thing in the day and I’ve failed.
The eyes look at me and i run.
I don’t look at the eyes.
Everywhere i turn my face the eyes are there.
And they’re looking at me.
The eyes there are familiar, younger and less invasive.
I see eyes with hope, eyes with visions for the future, eyes with a look of care.
And then they look at me, some have the look of the outside eyes. Some seem to look like familiar eyes. I do not know if it’s real. My perception is failing me. Things aren’t as they seem.
I search in the crowd for the eyes that know me . I find myself escaping to them. Their faces accept me,and i see emotions that are happy to be exposed.
Throughout the day i see all kinds of eyes. Eyes judging us, eyes with expectations of us, eyes that had their hope stolen from them long ago.
But how can i not see it when i too am hiding?
I go home and i see eyes. Eyes that look like they once were home for hope, on a face that looks like it can’t afford to have emotion. Did they once too have hopes and dreams? Will my eyes end up like them?
I have forgotten how my eyes look. I search for a mirror and when i look at my face.
I can’t see my eyes. But i can see. How can i see?
I don’t acknowledge the problem, i draw eyes on my face that don’t look like my eyes.
My eyes are gone and i can’t have them back.