ᵇᶦᵗᵗᵉʳˢʷᵉᵉᵗ ⁻⁻

[nghtshd-blog]

nonlacking:

[nghtshd-blog]

nonlacking

      hi-

oh worm?

[nghtshd-blog]

    hi-

[alannasroleplaymemes-moved]

Dad Pun Sentence Starters

[ekkusumoi]

alannasroleplaymemes :

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.” “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.” “A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’” “Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!” “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!” “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.” “I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.” “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.” “Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.” “'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!” “I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!” “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1” “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.” “What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.” “How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.” “Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.” “I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.” “Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.” “How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.” “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” “Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.” “Don’t call me later, call me Dad.” “What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant” “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.” “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.” “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.” “What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.” “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.” “The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.” “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.” “5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.” “Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”“ "What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.” “What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.” “I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.” “To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.” “The rotation of earth really makes my day.” “I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.” “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.” “I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!” “Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.” “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.” “A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.” “I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.” “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.” “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.” “People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”

[memeroundups]

Questions/Comments to be sent anonymously!

(though off anon is fine too!)

“Is there someone you hold dear?”

“Don’t you feel any guilt?”

“You’re actually afraid to be alone, aren’t you?”

“There must be something you fear.”

“Do you have a home?”

“Is there someone you like?”

“Are you really expecting a positive outcome out of this?”

“Aren’t you ashamed?”

“Aren’t you happy?”

“Who do you despise?” 

“How do you sleep at night?”

“What do you think of kindness?”

“What do you think of hatred?”

“Why do you fight?”

“Why do you live?”

“How much blood have you spilled?”

“How much death have you seen?”

“Don’t you think your actions are reckless?”

“Don’t you know how much good you’ve done for others?”

“Can’t you tell they love you?”

“Can’t you see he/she would die for you?”

“Can’t you tell the truth for once?”

“You’re not tainted.”

“You’re not alone.”

“You’re awful.”

“You don’t think of anyone but yourself.”

“You’re an emotionless robot.”

“You’re just a lap dog.”

“It’s not over.”

“He/she needs you.”

“Stop lying.”

“Stop fighting.”

“Stop pushing others away.”

“You’re cruel.”

“You’re far too kind. Too kind for your own good.”

“You depend on him/her too often.”

“You’re overprotective, it’s stifling.”

“He/she is bringing you down.”

“You’re too timid, it’s easy to see you as a target.”

“You need to listen.”

“You need to speak up more often.”

“You’re weak.”

“You’re too proud.”

“Quit blaming others for your mistakes.”

“You won’t always be around to save him/her.”

“One day, he/she won’t need you anymore.”

“You can’t cheat death.”

“You can’t hide forever.”

“They’ll find out the truth eventually.”

“That person is only holding you back.”

“They’re too good for you.”

“You’ll be rewarded for your efforts if you keep trying.”

“It will get better.”

“You look lonely.”

“You look bitter.”

“You look tired.”

“You’re hiding a painful burden.”

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You will always be worthless.”

“Your hands are too dirty, too tainted to be clean.”

“You’re lost in this world. Wandering without a purpose.”

“You’ll rise above them all.” 

“You’ll find your place in this world.”

“Eventually, someone will knock you off your pedestal.”

[nghtshd-blog]

                                    ‘ for here I lie in wait, hush little heart. ’

[angstmemes]

lonely sentence starters

“Long time no see! How’re you holding up?” “You clearly weren’t expecting me.” “I came here to help you, but if you’d rather I hadn’t, I will leave you alone again.” “I thought I’d just stop by and see how you were doing… It’s been a while.” “You’ve been quiet lately.” “How are you? Honestly. Don’t give me the usual crap.” “Why’re you sitting here all by yourself?” “This is supposed to be a party. You are supposed to dance, not sulk.” “Has nobody come to see you?” “Do you want me to leave?” “When’s the last time you went outside?” “Do you even want to see anyone?” “You seem lonely…” “Don’t you have any friends?” “I don’t mind keeping you company.” “Do you really have this place all to yourself?” “Maybe if you tried being nice every once in a while you would actually have people who cared about you.” “I’d visit you more often if I had the time…” “I am your friend. You’ve got me.” “Are you lonely?” ———- “I just want to be left alone.” “I’ve been so alone.” “You’re the first person to visit me in ages.” “I wish you’d visit more often.” “I’m just so sick of being alone all the time.” “No, of course I’m not lonely.”

[pcnderings]

Bioshock Infinite Sentence Starters

 A mix of things said in the BIOSHOCK INFINITE games.

❝ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. ❞ ❝ Are you going to just sit there? ❞ ❝ You expect me to shoulder the burden? ❞ ❝ Not all debts can be repaid. ❞ ❝ I’m not busting down any doors. ❞ ❝ I know why you’ve come. ❞ ❝ I know how it ends. ❞ ❝ I’d greatly appreciate it if you would assist. ❞ ❝ One day, a man came to you and offered you a chance at redemption. ❞ ❝ Stop it. Will you stop it!? ❞ ❝ I’m not here to hurt you. ❞ ❝ Who are you?  ❞ ❝ I never find that as satisfying as I’d imagined. ❞ ❝ Are you real? ❞ ❝ Feats of wonderment are at the tips of your fingers. ❞ ❝ I’m real enough. ❞ ❝ You don’t want to be here when he gets here. ❞ ❝ Bring us the girl, and wipe away the debt. ❞ ❝ This will end in blood. ❞ ❝ It always ends in blood. ❞ ❝ You killed those people. ❞ ❝ I can’t believe you did that. ❞ ❝ You’re a monster! ❞ ❝ What did you think was gonna happen? ❞ ❝ You think people like that are just gonna let you walk away? ❞ ❝ What am I? ❞ ❝ It’s a bad place. ❞ ❝ From here on, it’s only gonna get worse. ❞ ❝ I’m not you. ❞ ❝ What about me? ❞ ❝ Did I ever even have a choice? Did you? ❞ ❝ I will never escape it. ❞ ❝ It’s like a wheel of blood spinning round and round. ❞ ❝ You’ve come to wipe your slate clean. ❞ ❝ Time will walk backwards before you find redemption. ❞ ❝ Some sins can’t be forgiven. ❞ ❝ The deal is off. You hear me? ❞ ❝ It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything. ❞ ❝ Leave me alone. Can’t you just leave me alone!? ❞ ❝ I heard you screaming. ❞ ❝ I was coming to get you. ❞ ❝ Put the gun down. ❞ ❝ I don’t understand. ❞ ❝ I never should have left you. ❞ ❝ Shut down the machine. ❞ ❝ What are the odds? ❞ ❝ We’re not animals, you know? ❞ ❝ Please just don’t leave me here. ❞ ❝ We’ve got nothing but time. ❞

[nghtshd-blog]

hiiii

[nghtshd-blog]

lack-two: inhales-- whi-two, internally: loRD N SAVE ME--

[nghtshd-blog]

nonlacking:

        @nghtshd ♥ ——                                       “ we’ll stay up late so i can tell you all the secrets no one knows. ”

    “ h-huh..?   don’t we have class-.   staying up late won’t do us any good... ”

[nonlacking-blog]

                                      to the morning we’re cast out ; but i know i’ll land here again.

                                                    independent rakutsu/lack-two ( pokéspe )                                                                       written by sky

[trcshymemes]

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞

❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞

❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞

❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞

❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞

❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞

❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞

❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞

❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 

❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞

❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞

❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞

❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞

❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞

❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞

❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞

❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞

❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞

❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞

❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞

❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞

❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞

❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞

❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 

❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 

❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞

❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 

❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 

❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞

❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞

❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞

❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 

❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞

❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 

❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 

❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞

❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞

❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞

❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   

❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞

❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 

❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 

❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞

❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞

❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞

❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 

❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞

[nghtshd-blog]

neeeeeew theme!!

[nghtshd-blog]

gcruden:

@nghtshd.

‘ i don’t think i can pull off a long haired style, it must be a fight when showering or brushing “

    “ ah...   it’s not that hard when you’re used to it.   though,   iguess for people who aren’t used to it,   it would be- ” 

[nghtshd-blog]

   i know i said i was going to work on those starters but i didn’t have any motivation to write... and the one i did write was very short so i apologize!! i’ll try again tomorrow!

[rpstarterandaskmemes]

‘Parks and Recreation’ Starter Sentence Meme

What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me. 

You’re very lonely and you need a pet.

I AM NOT CRYING, OK? I’M ALLERGIC TO JERKS!

That woman really knows her way around a penis.

Guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.

I’ll be there tucking you into bed at night. Don’t worry, it’s not gay.

I’m going to outlive you and then I’m going to nail your wife.

You’re right, it’s your life, get as many eagles as you want.

Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties, or time-traveling romances.

I know _____ seems scary, but really she’s just a manipulative, psychotic, library book pedalling, sex crazed she-demon.

Last night I faked four out of the seven.

There are two things I know about white people. They love Rachael Ray. And they are terrified of curses.

S/he’s mad at you because you said ‘awesomesauce’ instead of ‘I love you too.’

I do love you, you know.

Now you have deprived everyone of cake!

I guess I kinda see why s/he would marry her/him.

I’m not interested in caring about people.

We have to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.

I love games that turn people against each other.

Treat yo self.

My instinct is to be mean to you.

This seems like a hug moment!

You had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing! 

I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 minutes.