out to lunch

scuttled in the suburbs

[nicepileofwood]

In the last year, M. was diagnosed with heart failure and began a slow and systematic descent into hidden alcohol use and stark depression.

Two weeks ago, I asked him to leave our home.

Two days ago, he came back, and said he didn't think he wanted to be married anymore.

We're both in therapy. I'm doing literally all the housework and caring for R. and making sure her beautiful 5 year old self doesn't have to deal with too much too soon.

I'm exhausted and just want to go on a yearlong vacation with R. and leave everything behind.

[poetryforall]

-Rumi

[nicepileofwood]

My girl. Taller and stronger every day. Reading books on her own, singing songs at the top of her lungs, testing every limit. She loves animals, treasure hunting, and gymnastics. Champion snuggler, Pokémon trainer elite, maker of art. She's silly and serious and my heart is so full seeing her grow.

[nicepileofwood]

Gray hair, don't care.

[nicepileofwood]

My not so little girl in the Gulf of Mexico. 🐚

[nicepileofwood]

Four photos my 3 3/4 year old took today. The last one is a gengar that she drew, then photographed.

[nicepileofwood]

Ottawa. June 25, 2023.

[nicepileofwood]

Summer days at the tropical greenhouse.

[littlealienproducts]

kite flying print by  beccastadtlander

[nicepileofwood]

006.

Winterlude on 2 hours of sleep with a toddler with a cold. I've never been more tired than I've been as a mom, but also never enjoyed exhausting myself as much I have.

[nicepileofwood]

Sunday morning wall shadows.

[nicepileofwood]

004. stitch stitch stitch

This thing is taking FOR FUCKING EVER but it is also turning out pretty dope so I won't complain too much. It is my first embroidery project, so obviously why not start with a massive one that will end up having taken me a year to complete.

I have already bought like twelve other patterns, smaller patterns mind you, to take on whenever this beast is done.

Also, I think as a mental health effort, livejournals should automatically close and self destruct after five years for those of us with no self control who will reset their password and look back at what a dumb stupid idiot they were as a younger person.

[nicepileofwood]

03. blue skies, orange feet

Bright days by the creek with my little family and a paddling of ducks. It's been a weird winter - anxious but light, mild but stormy.

Hoping for a featherweight spring for all of us.

[nicepileofwood]

02.

[nicepileofwood]

01.

Just finished/just starting.

I liked Afterland. My second Lauren Beukes book of the year, and just as good as expected. 9/10 would recommend.

This isn't going to be solely a book tumblr, or an anything in particular tumblr. I left tumblr as my old one was just a record of old things that don't really serve my new life well.

We don't have to carry everything and everyone forward with us forever.