badjokes.com

[nichlousrolf]

beans

[nichlousrolf]

taking a nap this time of year is fucking scary

when did i wake up? 7pm? 3am? impossible to tell

[nichlousrolf]

lets all agree to call twitter followers ‘birdwatchers’ from now on

[nichlousrolf]

hey any rule 34 of the sand castle pokemon yet?

I wanna see it get it on with the ice cream cone one

[nichlousrolf]

there are people with facial hair and there are people with face pubes

learn to spot the difference

[nichlousrolf]

Purgatory is a place where your teacher plays a 15 minute video for the class but there's no audio and everything is quiet

[nichlousrolf]

fun cool ways to end your 2016

bullet to the brain

discover what the stuff under the sink tastes like

real life recreation of the passion starring you

climb up a precariously placed ladder on poor foundation while ignoring the three-point rule

death by french fry

eat every pencil you can find in your house

test the conductivity of every fork you own with each individual electrical outlet. Takes note on the wattage coursing through your body. call ComEd and let them know you’re very disappointing in the discrepancies between each outlet, despite paying all your electricity bills. When the electrician comes to fix the wiring issue that is the cause of this power flux, hand him a gun and challenge his fundamental beliefs on morality

replace all drinking water with vodka. Make pasta

rocks

[nichlousrolf]

touched by angel except it’s jeb bush handing out miniature tortoises

[nichlousrolf]

no one understands my diet better than the security guard to our dorms