(/lets out nervous laughter and looks around to see if anyone is staring, but there is only the person behind the counter who seems more interested in his cell phone than the two boys wrapped up in each other. he rubs niel’s back with both palms to sooth the sobbing body, holding in his own tears that so desperately wanted to get out) You don’t need to cry now, Niel. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You should have known that things would turn out this way. I don’t give up so easily. (/kisses the younger’s forehead before nodding his head towards the elevators. it was time to rest.) Can we go up now? You can cry there, you big baby. (/changes his tone to a whisper) Or maybe I can change those sobs into moans, hm?
(/laughs through the tears, sniffling and smacking joon's cheek lightly.) You stupid, horny bastard. (/wipes his nose on the back of his hand.) Emphasis on bastard. But yeah, sure. (/leads joon over to the rickety elevator, glancing back at the doorman and giving him a tearful nod before hitting the button for his floor and leaning back against the elevator wall.) Did you, like, drop out of Seongnam? (/asks, raising an eyebrow and leaning into joon, wiping away a few tears.)
(/raises a hand lazily and tries to keep his composure as niel comes into view, his playful demeanor key in keeping their meeting as casual as possible in such a public place. they could always save the rest if and when they got up to niel’s place) You left without me. I packed up as soon as I got your school info from one of your old frat buddies…and here I am. You’re living alone, right? (/slips his arms around niel’s waist and his chest tightens as he feels just how thin the younger male had become in the short time that they had been apart) I should stay with you and make sure that you’re eating healthy, shouldn’t I? (/nuzzles his nose into niel’s neck) I love you.
(/swallows hard, making his way to joon. he can hardly believe the other is real, not some kind of hallucination, but the sound of his voice sends sparks through niel's spine and of course he's just as stupid and dogged and amazing as ever. niel all but collapses into his arms, exhausted and amazed, and he barely manages a nod before the tears start falling down his face because he missed joon so damn much and now all the pain from the half-healed scar had nowhere to go. he buries his face in joon's chest and inhales, sobs wracking his skinny body. all of his hope and desire are coming back into his reach and he sniffs, trying to dry his tears as casually as he can on joon's shirt.) You're really here. It's really you. (/blinks up at joon in awe.) I... yeah. Please. Stay. (/bursts into tears again, arms tight around joon's shoulders.)
(/is sitting on his bed when he receives joon's text. he stares at it in disbelief, then glances between the numbers he was crunching and the door. he's not going to say he has his hopes up, but he's really exhausted and ready to be done with his finance work, and it's pretty impossible for anything in his life to get any worse, so he zips up his hoodie and throws his phone on the bed and slips on his sneakers. his eyes are hooded. if joon actually is there, niel might honestly have a hard time convincing the doorman he lives in the place because he hasn't been out of his room that much save for classes. he enters the lobby, heart pounding, and looks around. his eyes widen to the size of saucers and tears threaten to break them when he lays eyes upon the boy he's supposed to be away from. how joon found him, niel has no idea, but he makes his way towards him as slowly and as normally as he can.)
Niel was half-asleep on Joon's bed, slightly drunk and very warm as a shirtless Joon stroked his hair. His mind was empty of everything but the simple bliss of the moment and he was perfectly happy right there where he was. He was quite sure he never wanted to leave. He'd been sleeping at Joon's for a few days and had practically moved in. It was much easier to sleep with a warm body pressed against him than in the frat house, and Joon seemed to be perfectly glad to have him.
He hadn't even checked his phone in three days. He didn't typically talk to anyone but Joon and he'd decided somewhere in his head that now was as good a time as any to purge his need for technology. In reality, he was too busy with sex and cuddling, but he didn't have anyone to question him on it, so he let it be.
And they were beyond happy that night. A movie was playing quietly and Niel's hair was a mess and Joon's lips were so soft and tempting and yet just as he leaned up to kiss them, someone began knocking fiercely on the door. Joon didn't seem to notice, preferring instead to bite at Niel's neck, and Niel figured that whoever it was would figure out that they were busy or assume they were gone or something.
Or not.
"It's not what it -- " he began, but he cut himself off. It was exactly what it looked like. Something fatalistic inside of him wanted and needed this to be over with, the outcome be damned. He was tired of hiding and he was terrible at it. His hand on Joon's shoulder, he inhaled and faced the man.
And Niel's father didn't spare a single word in grabbing Niel by the wrist and assuring Niel that he'd never be allowed within a thousand-kilometer radius of Joon ever again.
Niel was powerless to react, his mind running at some obscene speed as he was pulled toward the door. He was half-sure he was dreaming and tried, stupidly, to kick his way out of his father's grip. This was ridiculous. He and Joon were just lovers and there was nothing wrong with love, but evidently there was everything wrong with love, because God, he'd never seen such fury in his father's eyes since his sister had come home shitfaced after a school dance.
The beer on his breath wasn't helping matters at all and the tears were catching up to his eyes, and, sobbing like a child, he was dragged out the apartment door. His last sight of Joon, of his one and only love, was the silhouette of his figure, head in his hands, through the door that his father had left open.
-------------------
Six days later, the skeleton of Ahn Daniel stands in a tailor's shop, being fitted for a suit under his mother's watchful eye. He wears nothing but his underwear and a myriad of faded hickies and bruises. His eyes are red but he's cried out all of the tears in his body and he stands tall, breathing shallowly, as though being tried for his sins.
He'll be sent to business school to finish the semester in one week's time. The paperwork is complete. His father has bought him a briefcase and six ties and his mother has held him with tears in his eyes and he knows in that moment that the clever, happy Niel, the Niel who sucked boys' dicks for the hell of it and got his nose broken for love and ran away from groundskeepers for innocent mischief, the Niel who fell head-over-heels in love with a stupid boy with a fancy car, is dead and gone forever.
He's Daniel now, and he's merely the secondhand smoke left behind by Niel.
