Odd Oyster

How does it feel to be an odd in a world full of even?

[nikitagandhipoetry]

[nikitagandhipoetry]

Perhaps i was the one at fault to expect clarity from the people who liked living in the chaos.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

[nikitagandhipoetry]

As the new year comes,

each day is a new kind of

dilemma, as my heart

begins to think about

whether certain things

would begin from where

i left or whether something

new will surprise me...

honestly, it gives me a lot of

anxiety because firstly i wasn't

even ready to leave things behind,

and to accept alternatives that were

enforced upon me without my will,

and secondly, it is really scary

to begin with something new.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

The sweater you gave

me last December does

not hold warmth now,

so whoever wears it

either you or me,

to offer arms to hold,

it will always make the

other person feel cold.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

[nikitagandhipoetry]

The most painful thing in love is to make a person wonder as to what went wrong when everything felt right.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

Nothing is more

exhausting than

looking for you in

the places where

we both felt alive

knowing that even

though if i spot you

i'll be in a deep sigh.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

It might be hard

for you to notice,

how scared i can be

on the question

of losing you,

while you laugh at me

along with them

who isn't your home.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

I'm living in an era where my heart is too numb to feel anything but my mind is internally responsive to so many things.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

For once tell me

that it is not in

my head entirely,

that when the wind

blows and touches

my skin, it's you who

is wanting to feel me.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

"Maybe i was just deluded about the idea of love that all your flaws seemed like flowers to me".

[nikitagandhipoetry]

While holding you

tight in hard times,

i forgot that i had

to hold myself too

because i was tired

and you never knew.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

"Every star made me wish for you, but since you left, the moon taught me to wish for my own betterment."

[nikitagandhipoetry]

[nikitagandhipoetry]

Today i might not write

what i wish for,

my wishes died when you

went far alone,

i searched you in my wishes

all night and day,

but you never came back

for you never wished to stay.

[nikitagandhipoetry]

"I don't know what my life would have been without music, as i so often swim in an ocean of endless feelings, with certain lyrics playing in my head on repeat, without being able to express any of it and getting choked in the moment of weakness."