his space is always suspiciously clean
absolutely dominates the fridge space
will assume death or kidnapping when roommate doesn’t come home
makes the house smell like food from cooking
likes to meal prep on sunday evenings and will con you into cooking with him
no roommate of his will be eating instant ramen, unacceptable
considers going grocery shopping together the ultimate bonding
will lecture you for leaving the house without being properly dressed for the weather
will make a big deal when your bring someone over
owns 500 pairs of shoes but no groceries
is only ever home from the hours of 1am-7am
too invested in roommates love life
keeps everything clean except for the bathroom
will insist on going for runs or working out together
will befriend your friends
room always smells vaguely sweaty
has done the dishes once in his entire life
comes home drunk at 4 am and demands attention
will kill your houseplants
will invite you on 3 am adventures
will text your at 3 am from one room over asking to go grab him something from the fridge
hanging out in each others rooms and talking shit
will probably make fun of you but at least offer somewhat decent defense against home invaders
you will always wonder why he needs a roommate
will give you questionable advice during crisis
frequently receives suspicious packages
every surface in his bedroom is covered in scented candles
your friends 100% like him better than you
all your friends think he’s hot and you probably do too
somehow knows all the gossip about all of the neighbors
has a strong friendship with the little old lady from next door
can’t tell if he’s really weird or really cool
owns too many novelty mugs
will come sit with you whenever you’re in the common areas
best person to talk about your drama with
he and his dog are a 2 package deal
he talks to his dog like he would his own child
everything he touches is absolutely spotless
closet is organized in colored order
will absolutely never kill any bugs and will complain and threaten to move out until somebody deals with it
will come into your room to talk to you and then end up cleaning everything
turns the bathroom into a pharmacy
creates mess just by breathing
fridge is empty but his pantry is packed
walks out of his room with a different hairstyle each time
is somehow always at home
will treat your pets like family
you think he’s gonna be the worst roommate when you meet him but then a week later you’re best friends
often inebriated in some form