Can’t please everyone all the time, and I really don’t want to. So, um....Hey there, extreme shippers!
I thought to myself, “Everybody is gonna hate me for sure now, because let’s face it - on Tumblr, you’re either on one side or another” apparently. And I’m on neither. So, if I lose a lot of followers, I’m cool with that. You shouldn’t be following me anyway - I’m angry, I curse like a sailor and I don’t make gifs. I’m just a rant machine at the end of the day, who very occasionally reblogs decent stuff.
Speaking of rants…I saw an big rant tonight about people being upset over the person confronting Jensen at JIBCON about his treatment of Misha that was in defense of the shipper, I think? I was gonna reblog with my reply, but not worth it. They don’t deserve to get dogpiled on. Probably a kid. And TBH, my response is way harsher than they deserve.
So, here’s my independent thoughts on this nonsense, and I think it applies to Cockles/Destiehellers as well as extreme J2 tinhatters. I’m so sick of all this shit. And frankly, some of you are giving me the fucking creeps. And yessss, I’m tagging you. How else will you see this? It’s literally meant FOR YOU.
To a non-shipper like me, scrolling through Tumblr for the past 2 years has been very informative in a bad way when it comes to the whole concept of shipping in this fandom. I initially thought it was harmless, even beautiful at times, until I started noticing that there was one common denominator (Jensen) and started to realize he was nothing more than the Superbowl ring between the Patriots and the Seahawks with some of you people. Bottom line (and correct me if I’m wrong) As long as Jensen/Dean is fucking or being fucked by Castiel/Misha or Sam/Jared - GAME ON. Battle to the death, using a real, live human being as the prize.
It really is a prizefight and it feels like if you’re not on one side, you must be on the other. If I comment negatively on one perspective/bad behavior, I’m a BiBro. If I swing too far the other way, I’m a “Destiheller”. For christ’s sake I’M NON-DENOMINATIONAL when it comes to this dumpster fire. No pun intended.
And some of you are fighting over it. Really fighting over the rights to who gets to disrespect this guy/character and his family/co-workers/etc based on your fantastical interpretation of his sexual preferences/partners.
No respect for his privacy, his character or his personal capacity to make his own choices free from your Sauron Eye. Because all that matters is that he’s dicking down with YOUR fave. I get it - he’s stunning, he’s immensely talented, and let’s face it - he’d have “chemistry” with a cactus. What’s the deal? Is reality too much of an emotional stretch?
This whole BiBros/Wincest/J2 tinhatters vs. Destiel/Cockles nonsense is such a mess. A swampy, shitpile of absurd motivation…I can’t wrap my head around it. For the record: I’m pro actor and pro people who can enjoy the show without inserting themselves into the private lives of these actors. That’s it. That’s apparently this blog now. Because I’m so goddamned sick of this farce.
Let’s say that you’re really into a t.v. show. Like REALLY into it. You fall in love, become invested and start following the actors via social media and conventions. Eventually you find you have immersed and invested yourself so completely in the professional and personal lives of a few of the actors, that the lines become blurry in your mind between actual fact, your version of the truth, and fanfiction.
You feel familiar with them in a way that maybe you would with some of your own friends and family and start to fill in gaps (gaps that exist because you don’t actually know these people) by using your vivid imagination.
You might even be more invested in the interpersonal relationships of these actors than you are in your own. You want for things to be a certain way so badly, that when they’re not (or don’t seem to be), you feel personally aggrieved by it. And fuck anyone who threatens that, be they fellow fans of the show, wives, co-workers, etc.
The illusion of familiarity and ownership grows and grows until one day, you convince yourself that these people actually rely on your counsel and opinions with regards to their professional decisions/friendships/relationships, and you feel encouraged by your own (to quote Death) “ Inflated sense of self-importance” to confront them or those close to them about perceived slights via social media, or in person at a convention, for example.
There will be some support for your endeavor thanks to the shared psychosis you have with your fellow hardcore true believers. The French call it “folie a deux” (but x 1,000). And you will continue to galvanize each other to greater heights when it comes to inserting yourself into the personal lives of these actors.
If you do this, you’ll be a folk hero. People will write songs about you on Tumblr and Twitter!
Conversely, there will also be plenty of people saying “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”
You will not like these people and you will feel they’re only saying that because:
A: They’re “haters” or “stans” for one actor more than another
B: They “just can’t take a joke”
C: They’re so blinded by hate for one of the actors that it’s clouding their judgement.
D: They’re not evolved enough or smart enough to “look below the surface and see what’s REALLY going on”.
You will continue to double down on your commitment to this “cause” because you haven’t yet found a real cause that’s worth fighting for. You will not listen to reason, be respectful of boundaries, or logic until you grow up and out of this obsession. It just takes time. I hope.
And you will continue to take the SPN “Family” credo so literally, that you think you’re in control of mitigating the personal and professional relationships of people who don’t actually know you, and who you don’t actually know. Like - at all.
That being said, word on the street is - They DO care, they DO listen, and if some of you who fit the above description have accomplished anything - it’s that you’re now Crazy Aunt Dolores that no one wants to sit next to at Thanksgiving, but there she is, and somebody has to draw the short straw and listen to her conspiracy theories while trying to digest their turkey. We’re all trying to be patient with Crazy Aunt Dolores, but that patience is wearing REAL thin. At least it is for me. I’m already planning on what to wear to her funeral.
Bottom line: These guys will continue to live their lives as they see fit, not how you do. You need to find a way to come to terms with that.
Certain fans will continue to twist scenes, words, photos, actions… fuck… even every minor, incidental shot of body language to suit their purposes, and I will continue to be absolutely amazed by the mental gymnastics happening on here that would/could do a world of good elsewhere.
You can certainly invest more time. Precious energy. Keep devoting yourself to self-soothing by creating a cocoon of delusion when the truth runs contrary to your belief. Keep supporting yourself with as much content as you can find that lines up with your pre-existing notion about these people that are strangers to you. People who are unaware of your existence.
And I don’t mean that in a crappy way, it’s a big world out there and you mean something to the people in your life - invest in THAT. Invest in yourself as much as you do in these artificial romances/theories/whatevers and I promise you, I PROMISE you - you’ll be too busy and fulfilled to give a shit anymore.
Now, off to take some of my own advice.
