idk if youve talked about this before, and if you have,, forgive me, but do you have any hcs about how the handler grew up + got to where they are in chaos theory?
OMG I FORGOR TO ANSWER THIS... long story short Yes and I hope to make a huge long post about it soon but here's a summary
she was born Dec. 31st 1989 in Germany, grew up there. full name Lillian Sylvia Bain
her father died when she was only barely a year old, doesn't remember him unfortunately
she was a very quiet and introverted kid who preferred to play with bugs and rocks and her dog rather than other kids
she loved dinosaurs ever since her aunt gifted her a book about them for her 4th birthday
When she was around 10 her mother, Verena, became ill (specifically with ME/CFS, thank you EP for helping me w that) which eventually progressed to the point of her being bedbound, Handler became her only caretaker
in general her and her mother were very very close
as she got older she also developed a major interest in animal behavior, starting with her learning to train her dog using a whistle
was a bit of a troublemaking kid and even had a phase of frequent shoplifting just for the thrill of it. however even then, she was very sweet with her mother, still a good kid
fast forward a bit, she got a degree in animal behavior studies just like she wanted, worked as a dog trainer for a bit and perfected her whistle training methods
unfortunately her mother died due to complications from her illness only a week or so after Handler's university graduation :( this was the event that changed everything for her
without her mother, she felt completely lost and purposeless. she became an entirely different person
a major part of her felt responsible for her mother's death, she even sorta regretted getting her degree bc she worried she hadn't taken good enough care of her whilst studying (not true btw, she did absolutely everything she could and more)
a couple years later was when she applied for a job at Biosyn, who took an interest in her for her unique training methods and skills. she was willing to do anything at that point just to feel like a person with a reason to their life again
got the job, started working with raptors, which became a major source of happiness to her, and eventually worked for soyona.
surprisingly, when she started getting hitman tasks, she wasn't triggered by the death aspect. instead, it gave her a sick sort of reassurance that she hadn't been responsible for her mother's death. she then realized how it actually looks to be responsible for death (plus, her desire for purpose drove her to do absolutely anything)
this desire for purpose is also what made her become very attached to soyona in their (eventually) radioactive level toxic situationship
and that's that 😁 will make a longer more detailed version of this one day TY FOR ENABLING ME TO YAP /silly
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
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