The sound of the throat clearing had Mim whirling around, eyes shimmering purple as she defensively gathered magic towards herself. But as soon as she saw Jesse there with his hands full, she let the majority of the magic fade to the background again.
"Don't you know its a bad idea to approach an angry witch? We're a little bit infamous."
Especially as a fairy. Just because he was from the city didn't mean he could have entirely escaped the prejudices between their groups. Partially because it was deserved. When one side treated the other side like an ingredient farm instead of sentient equal beings, it was pretty understandable they wouldn't be considered trustworthy afterward.
Of course, she was even more of a mess for people to be around than that. But she at least tried not to advertise that little secret.
"Besides, you didn't do anything wrong. Nothing for you to make peace over. I have a feeling that's supposed to be my line."
"Was always told it was smart t'stay away from yous guys anyways. Angry or not," he shrugged. His halmeoni and his eomma had warned him. Scared him with stories when he'd been little. Fairies were just things for sorcerers. If he wasn't careful they'd steal him and use him all up for whatever spells they wanted.
But... Mim wasn't like that. At least he didn't think so. She was abrasive and a little annoying sometimes but not evil. Not scary.
"Yeah, well, m'still here with a plate full of snacks that I ain't gonna eat myself so..." He raised an eyebrow at her as he offered it out to her. "And we can talk about that massive asshole back there. Or we don't and just eat in silence. Figure we still got some time left. Haven't hit up the pillow fort thing. Gotta do that, said I would."
4townsjesse: Can't believe all our hard work has led to this. Beyond grateful for the support from all of our fans and the hard work put into bringing this album to live from our team. Hope you all enjoy it.
Luca screwed up their eyes and tried to take a deep breath. But still, they could feel the first tear leak out. Then another. Within moments their eyes burned from the salt as they began to sob into their arms. They couldn't have even said exactly why they were crying, too overwhelmed to pick apart their emotions and try to figure out an exact source of anything.
Everything was awful but Jesse was here and somehow that was the best and worst thing all over again.
"I just - I love him so much and everything is so hard and it isn't fair." They leaned harder against Jesse's side, feeling each shuddery breath tug at their lungs. They wanted to go home. But they didn't know what home was anymore. Because the home they wanted most was the one thing they couldn't have.
They barely noticed the rumble of thunder overhead. They were too used to hearing it these days.
Jesse's arm winding around Luca was a sort of automatic response as Luca leaned into him more. In all the time he'd known the other, Jesse could count on one hand how many times he'd seen them like this. Most notably was when he'd gone to check on them what felt like ages ago. They'd been sad, yes, but maybe not to this level. At least not that he'd seen.
It made something ugly twist inside of him. An anger that he couldn't exactly explain. Jesse just knew that out of anyone, Luca didn't deserve any of what was happening at the moment. They were the kindest, purest soul that he knew. Jesse wanted them to always be that was, even if it was a foolish thought.
Life was hardly ever fair. At least not to the ones who deserved it. It was hard and it was often terrible. It gave harsh judgments based on nothing. Some people used optimism to combat it. Saying things like diamonds were formed under immense pressure. Which, yes, that was true. But people weren't diamonds. They were flesh and blood and bone. An intricate network of veins and muscles. Pressure didn't form them into something sparkling and shining. It broke them, pushing to limits that seemed insurmountable.
Above them the sky darkened and Jesse looked at it with a renewed interest. Was this Luca? Their emotions influencing the world around them? Part of him thought it was beautiful. Interesting.
"It isn't fair," he agreed softly, hugging Luca that much closer. "But I'm here and we can talk about it or we can just sit here. Either way, I'm not going anywhere. Yous aren't alone."
"You're very sweet, thank you." After all, he didn't know her voice. She could sound terrible - she didn't, but she could have so it was sweet.
On the stage, the fairy started the opening chords of Hayley Kiyoko's "Girls Like Girls". A few of the uni students in the crowd immediately screamed, with one girl going 'Oh my god, this is my favorite.' She did have a soft spot for drunk uni girls and their boundless enthusiasm.
"Do you have any favorite artists you're hoping to hear tonight? We try and cover a few different genres each week, but its hard to cover everyone. There's more queer music out there than people think, and that's just from the people that we know have come out as queer, let alone the people we suspect."
Jesse flushed, just slightly, at her kind words. He admired Jess, he realized. He admired the fact that she had cultivated a space like the Court; where music was appreciated and celebrated every night. It was a safe haven for people who liked a slower pace. A place where one could come and appreciate art in the making. The burlesque performances weren't exactly... his thing but stripped down to its bare bones, it was about the music. That was something that Jesse could support and stand behind.
He chuckled at the crowing of several university students, the chords playing familiar. The fairy was good. As were most of the performers there.
Her question, though, caught him only slightly off guard. Did she realize what she was asking? Was she prepared for the veritable amount of words that were prepared to spill from his lips?
"Bowie is high on the list. He was a pioneer. The way he embraced it and wasn't afraid doing things that went against the norm at the time? Legendary." He grinned as he spoke, feeling that sudden spike of intrigue. "Tracey Chapman. Her voice just scratches something just right in my brain. Elton, of course, even if it's cliche. Queen; Freddie Mercury was an absolute pioneer. Saint Vincent probably." He trailed off, that flush intensifying as he did so. It was entirely too easy for him to lose himself in his thoughts about music and explaining what he enjoyed about his favorite artists.
April hadn't paid attention to what they were supposed to be doing because she didn't really care. She was already failing most of her classes, so why bother? Once she had a wealthy husband or got her inheritance, she wouldn't have to worry about a college degree anyway.
She was here mostly for the lols. And because her sisters asked. And because she was scared.
But that wasn't the point.
The point was this assignment was dumb (probably, again: she hadn't actually paid attention.)
"Sure," she said, smiling prettily once he'd agreed. "And if you need me on piano or something, just let me know. I'm classically trained so I can do just about anything."
As much as April irritated Jesse to no end, he had to admit that she was intriguing. For all she appeared careless and unbothered, she was actually pretty impressive. At least to Jesse.
He could appreciate the arts. He was so immersed in them himself it was hard not to. There was an inherent understanding that some people didn't view things the way that he did. That the arts were just something that you did out of boredom or as a hobby. He wasn't sure what April's motives were behind it. He wanted to speculate that it was because she was a spoiled rich kid. It was textbook, wasn't it? Those types of parents often ushered their kids into those activities to boost portfolios. To make them look even better on paper. Regardless of whether or not the child cared for the pushing.
But despite that train of thinking, Jesse couldn't help but wonder if she could make this even better. He liked the version of Oleander. It was good; the vocals had come out better than he'd anticipated and the music flowed so beautifully. But what if he stripped it? Took it down to just the basics? It could become hauntingly beautiful, the movement of whatever dance moves they came up with spinning that tale effortlessly.
"That--- That might actually come in handy. Do a sort of stripped performance of it. Something more raw," he muttered, mind already working out the arrangement. "Any other skills I should know about?"
Mim had no idea if Jesse was following her. If he was smart he wouldn't. She didn't look around to see who might be watching her or what Bram was doing or what people might be saying as she moved through the space.
All that mattered was getting away. Before she did something even worse.
Shoving open one of the side doors in Town Hall, she could see the dim lights beyond it. Perfect. No one here. She continued to sail down the hallway, heels clacking sharply on the ground and echoing int he room around her.
As she came to another space, she caught sight of a base on a pedestal next to the wall. Without thinking about it, she picked it up and threw it as hard as she could against the wall.
For all that Jesse had been dreading going to prom, he hadn't actually thought anything like this would happen. He thought he would just be forced to spend time with Mim (which was turning out not to be totally unpleasant) and interact with people he didn't really care for. They'd dance to shitty pop music and probably drink way too much but it'd be at least bearable.
He had not anticipated watching Mim's ex pick a fight over literally nothing.
The way the guy had spoke to Mim had rubbed him entirely raw. He was beyond unkind. He had no idea what the situation was but no one deserved to be spoken to that way a majority of the time. Mim was... abrasive and argumentative. She rubbed Jesse the wrong way more often than not. But, even still, he would never dare to talk to her like that. To say such horrible things.
At least Mim had gotten the last word, literally. She had a mean right hook and Jesse had been wholly impressed. Impressed and worried.
He'd let her walk off; storm off really. Wanting to give her a moment to work through whatever it was she needed to, he headed towards the refreshment table. Snacks were needed. Snacks and maybe a few drinks. He gathered what he could and retraced his steps, winding through people to make his way out to the hall.
He knew he'd found the right hallway when he'd heard the breaking of glass. Carefully, he made his way over, clearing his throat in the process. "If I give you my peace offering are yous gonna throw it against the wall?"
Who knows. Maybe they did deserve this. They'd been fine in Arcadia after all - that was their world, their ocean, their family and environment and everything else that was supposed to make you feel like you belonged and could be comfortable. For most of their life, they'd thought that was true even as they felt like something was missing just that little bit.
Tumbling through the portal to Earth had been a terrifying accident. Staying had been a choice. Working with iron the way they did and working on their inhaler were choices they made. So maybe it was their fault. Maybe they did deserve it after all.
Letting out a sigh, they shook their head. "No, no, I can't make you sit out here by yourself, that's mean. It's fine. I'm just whining anyway. Thank you for listening,"
As they sat there, they could tell that they were dry enough. It only took a moment for their Glamor to slide back into place - pale skin covering teal scales, brown curls taking the place of blue fins, and their tail disappearing like it didn't exist. All that was left was a too skinny kid that was too tired after all.
Jesse wanted to protest. He wanted to tell Luca that it wasn't nearly a hardship. Not when Luca had listened to Jesse complain about various things. Not when Luca curbed their own desire to be close and physical for Jesse's comfort. Nothing was going to be an inconvenience when it came to their friend.
He didn't say all of that, however, simply leaned against them so that they would know he was still there. That he wasn't going anywhere. Sometimes that was more important than any words.
"Yous always listen t'me," he mumbled with a small smile. "I think it's high time I return the favor. So if yous want t'sit here and be sad then we can do that. Or I can sit here and make sure the coast is clear if yous wanna swim and be that other part'a yous. Either way... yous still my friend. I still care about yous and your well bein'. Even if I don't fully understand it."
"Ambitious," she said with a small smile. Hopefully it meant he would be coming back in a few different nights to work his way through them all. But if he did try to go through them all tonight, she trusted Jared to keep an eye on things and track his limits. It was part of what helped to head off trouble these days.
Clearly catching the end of that thought, Jared gave her a small smile before finishing the drink and moving on to the next person.
"Yes, I'll be performing a little bit later in the evening. A lot of people don't know that Billie Holiday was bisexual, so I like to be able to sing a few of her songs along with the work of Ma Rainey and a few other jazz icons."
Jesse smiled at the bartender as he handed him the drink. He hummed as he took a sip and nodded along with what Jess was saying. They were good artists. Classics, really. It made him think a bit differently about the Court. He could appreciate places that actually seemed to care about music, about the performances they put on.
And the fact Jess seemed so knowledgeable about things that others just didn't pay attention to was just the cherry on top.
"Sounds awesome," he smiled, genuine and large. He was excited to see her perform. Maybe even see about performing himself. It was a strange thought getting on stage when it wasn't for school or for 4*Town. He wasn't even sure that he could. But... it'd be interesting to think about. To consider.
"I'm sure you're gonna do all of 'em justice. I'll be out here cheering yous on, though."
April thought that whole rhetoric was so stupid. Knowing it wasn't good and staying anyway? That's not exactly how it worked. Or, if it did, then those people were just stupid.
For example: she knew her relationship with Adam wasn't good. And she didn't stay with him because it was hard to leave. She stayed because she liked his money. The security she found with him. Even when it cost her a bruise or two.
She would probably still be with him right now...if not for--
"Sure, I think I could manage something like that. Are you gonna dance too? Kinda seems like a two person vibe. I don't wanna do all the work."
Jesse wasn't planning on dancing. But--- Well, she wasn't wrong. It would be more effective with two people. And as much as he liked to deny it, all of the training he'd been doing with the band had improved his dance skills.
Even if she wouldn't be doing all the work. After all, he'd be smoothing out the track. Making sure it fit, adding pauses and flourishes to it that went with the dance she choreographed. Though, he had a sneaking suspicion that she wouldn't see it that way.
"Yeah. I can... I can probably dance too. Ain't like they said one person had t'do the dancing and one person had t'come up with the music. We's supposed t'be collaborating." He shrugged as he shifted in his spot. "M'sure the both'a us could come up with something."
"No, I'm fine," his repertoire of communication the last few moments had been quite limited but he also wasn't very focused on holding a discussion right then. That had never been involved in dealing with problems like that. Talking at all was usually considered complaining about something, which carried a separate reprimand that was often worse.
In the grand scheme of problems to deal with it still registered on the low level. Unpleasant, but tolerable. The roll of his stomach was only the suggestion of nausea and once again Sid was frustrated by his own shortcomings in dealing with discomfort. Or maybe frustrated that the past year had gotten him out of the habit of dealing with it so it was noticeable.
He wasn't doing himself any favors in that.
Somewhere in his distraction he'd lost count and it was a particularly sharp sensation that snapped his attention back to the real world, an immediate squirm and recoil leaving Jesse standing there.
"Ow," he trailed off with a flinch at his own words, his brain still on high alert for the reaction that didn't come because there was nobody there to yell at him. But it wasn't something easily accepted yet.
Sid rolled his shoulder, trying to get a better look and the red flush of irritation greeted him, the odd little pinpoints of blood that reflected a bit oily and dark in the light from its unusual composition. "That's it, right?" He didn't complain, he was wired not to complain. Complaining made things worse. But he did feel a little dizzy with the adrenaline from that tension starting to crash.
The flicker of iridescence across his collarbone still mocked him in the mirror but it felt like a lesser evil. Maybe not one to argue; it wasn't that noticeable and even if it was it could be waved off as some purposed modification, or at least he told himself that.
For a second he just leaned against the sink, giving the dizziness time to fade before he looked at Jesse. Actually looked at him and the insanity of the whole thing registered to him. He didn't say it, in fact the busied himself with cleaning off the counter, a mumbled thanks like he was disappointed in himself for asking him to do something like that in the first place.
He was, actually, not just that but it really felt like those problems were his own instead of something to drag other people into.
"At least that's probably not going to scar," Sid muttered, still focused very intently on rubbing at the counter with a towel even though the surface was clean, "hard spot to reach. Don't like other people doing my tattoos." At least not the ones with the purpose of reworking his mistakes and scars.
Something had shifted. Jesse wasn't sure what it was but he knew that something was off. This wasn't the Sid that teased him about his height or threatened to make him sleep in the dog house. This wasn't even the Sid who gave him the most deadpan expressions when he did something mildly irritating.
Jesse didn't know how to handle this version of Sid.
He watched him as he scrubbed the same spot on the counter, the spot all but sparkling. He let him go at it, words mumbled more to himself than it seemed for Jesse's ears. Jesse let him continue as he moved closer slowly; almost as if he was approaching a scared animal that might attack at the slightest of movement.
Carefully, he covered Sid's hand with his own, trying to stop that obsessive scrubbing. "Hey. Think if yous wipe that spot down anymore, yous gonna wear a hole in the counter," he attempted at something lighthearted, slightly teasing. Just something to bring Sid back to the moment, to the fact that Jesse was there and he wasn't disgusted or upset with the slight turn of events.
"C'mon. Lemme clean up your shoulder some. Then yous can bitch at me for my reagents makin' yous sparkly."
I Want a Beautiful Boy's Despondent Laughter || Messy Brimston
Summary: After leaving the dance floor, Mim and Jesse bumped into Bram. There was a heated argument that ended when Mim punched Bram, he hit the ground, and she stormed off.
Date: June 20, 2026
@nobody-like-jesse @headless-bram
MIM
Mim knew that Jesse had gone with her onto the dance floor mostly to be polite and because he'd been told to do what she wanted for the night. Be the perfect date and all. But the thing was, he was a great dancer and she was pretty good too, so once they were out there, it was fun.
It was nice for things to just be fun for a bit, no pressure as they twirled around and glared away other people. Just two little nightmares in the middle of a dream.
As the song ended, she laughingly insisted she needed more chocolate and turned to head back towards the table.
Only for her own nightmare to appear out of nowhere. Well well.
"Bram, I didn't see you there."
JESSE
Jesse was, admittedly, having more fun than he had thought he would with Mim. She was fun, sarcastic, and actually a great dance partner. Twirling her around the dance floor was an experience. And for a while it didn’t feel like this was all part of some band promotion bullshit.
He huffed a laugh, acting mildly annoyed at the new quest for chocolate, and followed her out of the mess of dancing bodies.
He nearly ran into her as she stopped, eyes moving over to the guy she stopped to talk to. Was this where she told him that he was free to do whatever he wanted? Or was there something less friendly?
He didn’t know, so he stood there, just behind her, watching over her shoulder.
BRAM
There had been a few beers and then some shots. Oh an then some more shots with April...who was a solid 8.7 btw...now that he downed the last of their whiskey shots.
Able to hold his liquor he was not too in the weeds. Honestly he felt level headed just annoyed with all the couples cutting him off on his way to grab a smoke.
Just as he was about to make a break for it another fucking couple stepped in his way. Eyes went wide his nostrils flared. Of course it was fucking Mim and oh yeah the pop star she whored herself out for on the internet. Bram has his own thoughts about all that - pretty much that she was just looking for attention instead of solving her own fucking issues she clearly had. Stupid.
Brams eyes bounced between the two and he glared. "Yeah fuckin' right." His eyes slowly rolled.
MIM
Mim stiffened and straightened in response to his glare. Not that it did much - she was still well over a foot shorter than Bram, and even the heels she was wearing didn't make much of a dent in it. But it was the principal of the thing.
She flipped her hair over her shoulder before tilting her head. "Contrary to what you seem to believe, my life doesn't actually revolve around you and getting your attention."
It had once. Which felt a little mortifying to think about now.
"We were busy enjoying ourselves before this."
JESSE
Jesse had no idea what was currently happening. It was… hostile to say the least. It made him want to slink away, disappear into the shadows and not have to deal with it.
But he couldn’t exactly do that.
He stepped just a bit closer, closing the small distance between them bit by bit.
“Uh… who are yous?” He asked, lamely and awkwardly.
BRAM
Bram's eyes immediately darted to the boy band loser. No he didn't know which one it was. Aaron T was the only one that was semi cool - he had to draw the line somewhere.
The way he watched as the meek one stepped forward almost had him barking out a laugh. Oh yeah what are you going to do...stand behind mummy.
"Yeah right...busy getting in my way." Bram still had his eyes one Jesse. Blinking slowly again - nostrils flared with each word. "Who am I?" What he wanted to say was his worst nightmare but that was cheesy as fuck. Instead he just sucked at the back of his front teeth in annoyed disgust.
"You wanted to flaunt your boy band bitch around." Bram finally looked back at Mim. "Was social media not enough for you?"
MIM
Mim could feel Jesse take a step closer, and she almost shifted to stand in between the two boys. After all, it wasn't like Jesse had signed up to be dealing with her ex and all his dramatic bullshit.
Especially since she could already tell that he'd been drinking. How much, she didn't know. But it didn't take much for him to get mean if he wanted to.
But she was meaner.
Ignoring what Bram had actually said, she turned to look at Jesse. "Meet my ex, Bram. You're seeing one of the reasons I ended things. Or I suppose a few of the reasons since his overinflated ego is on clear display as well."
JESSE
Jesse felt his nostrils flare in irritation at the guy in front of them. He was an asshole. Like an actual asshole. Not in the same way Jesse affectionately called Sid an asshole. Jesse wasn’t typically a violent fairy but at the moment he felt he could make an exception.
“Name’s Jesse, asshole,” he ground out, fist clenching at his side. He couldn’t hit him. Not when half the town was at this stupid prom that he didn’t even want to go to. Dick would be all over his case.
He huffed at Mim’s explanation, rolling his eyes. “Picked a real winner. Sounds like you saw the light breaking up with him.”
BRAM
Oh so we are just lying tonight. Typical Mim shit - living in the land of delusions on why they broke up. Bram knew that he was doing exactly what she wanted to do all of the time. Was never an asshole to her - every. Oh and was willing to fuck whenever she wanted.
They ended because she was having a post college crisis and was being a little cry baby about it. Deflecting - which was typical for Bram.
Plus he was over it.
"Yeah Miriam this is one of the reasons. Keep telling yourself that." Bram scoffed quickly. Not even giving her a glare - it was Jesse who he was focused on again. Far more interested in what they were going to pull out their boy band hat. Be a big tough guy...yeah right.
Ah he had a name...and called him an asshole. Brams eyes squinted with a dead pan. "Hope you are ready to feed her appetite for attention pal. What she wanting you to dance all night? Make her feel like all eyes are on her?" Bram was sick of all that shit honestly. Mim was nothing like she every portrayed - a cool ass bitch with not a care in the world of what people thought. Wrong she cared. Bram's eyes slowly looked over to Mim again and his eyebrows danced as his grin grew cocky.
"You like it huh? When all eyes are on you? Drag around your shiny new lap dog to build that little ego up." Bram clapped his hands. "Good look sweetheart."
MIM
If Mim were being entirely honest with herself, she was well aware she wasn't being entirely fair. But she didn't feel the need to bare her soul to Jesse of all people, and certainly not in the middle of prom.
But if Bram was going to make himself look like the villain, she was happy to let him. He complained about being alone and misunderstood? He was the one making himself that way. She'd been his lifeline to connection in town, and she fucking knew it.
The line on her temper snapped when he called her Miriam.
No one got to call her Miriam.
"Bram, you're going to want to walk away right now. Because the next insult that comes out of your mouth, I will put you on the ground and not even chip my nails, and we really don't need the whole town to see you crying over getting your ass beat by a girl."
She paused once. "It's really a shame you're even more boring and stereotypical as my ex than you were as my boyfriend."
JESSE
“Why don’t you calm the fuck down, buddy?” Jesse found himself saying, side stepping Mim to stand just in front of her. He didn’t like the vibe of this guy. Didn’t like the way he spoke to Mim. Even if she irritated him, Jesse didn’t think she deserved the way he was speaking to her.
BRAM
A threat.
Cheap shot trying to impresses her date. Bram knew what Mim was capable of but he was the least bit scared. The worst of her was Childs play (he assumed) of what he had dealt with.
“Oh how you resort to violence instead of words huh Mim?” Bram spat back instead of taking the bait and asking for her worst with a smile on his sadistic face.
“Why because you look bad in front of this chump?”
Bram watched as Jesse moved in front of Mim. It was comical really - what was he going to do. Nothing.
“Again pal you’re in over your head. Why don’t you just take a seat.”
Looking just past his shoulder he looked down on Mim.
“You’ve been making me you villian for what? A few weeks now Mim. I relish in it yet you’re what still soaking this in?” Brams brows raised again. “Is thing going to get you off later huh? You really trotted your show dog around in front of me then thought this sad excuse of whatever juvenile behavior this is was going to make me feel something.”
Bram bawked a laugh and pushed past Jesse only checking his shoulder into his with a gust of force. Only to step by Mim and smirk as he whispered - “i hope you get off to this later Miriam. How you took down toxic masculinity.”
MIM
Mim might have let him go as he started to move. Might have.
But he called her Miriam again.
Eyes sparkling purple, Mim was barely aware of the rush of magic through her veins, boosting her muscles and her reactions far beyond what she was able to achieve normally. There was no chance for him to avoid the punch as she slammed it into his jaw. Even as he rocked back, she swung out her leg and kicked his feet out from under him. He hit the ground hard.
She laid one foot on top of his chest to keep him pinned to the ground (magic giving it weight so he couldn't move however much he struggled) and gave a final wave of her fingers. From experience, she knew his vocal chords had just seized up. He could breathe, but he couldn't speak as she stared down at him.
"You're a self centered lily-livered bastard whose head is so far up your own ass its no wonder you can't hear anyone else fucking speak. You really think you're the big bad wolf to my story because Daddy was mean and you see a ghost every now and then? I'm the real fucking nightmare. Why don't you pray that you never find that out."
Deliberately she looked at the hand she'd punched him with. "Look at that. Didn't even chip a nail."
She stepped back, glaring down at him with her eyes still shimmering purple. "The spell will wear off in five minutes. Maybe having to be silent means your brain can catch up with your ego. But I couldn't count on it."
Without looking at Jesse, she turned and strode away from the fight.
There was a small uncharitable part of Luca that wanted to bite back at what Jesse was saying. Iron might be dangerous, but Jesse could still touch it without breaking out into a rash, and he could walk through a city without suffocating. He could still dance and fly and run. He had a Hollow that was right here full of fairies who could talk to him if he wanted, all he had to do was reach out. This was still his world. It wasn't the same.
But they swallowed the words down, feeling that small bit of burn. It wasn't Jesse's fault that Luca was all wrong. He was trying to be nice. He was still sitting here. That was the important part.
Instead, after a moment of silence, they said, "Do you know what's frustrating? Even in the town dreams, even when I'm human, even when I have no magic at all, I'm still not normal. I still have asthma, I have physical problems that mean I need a cane to walk, and I still get sick all the time. Not even the magic of the town is strong enough for me to get to feel like someone else."
They let out a sarcastic snort. "Or maybe it just feels sorry for me. Maybe it felt like it'd be mean if I got to even try for a little while. I wake up from the dreams having a panic attack as it is. At least these days I can go sit in the shower so its only the bathroom that gets drenched in rain instead of the whole dorm."
Jesse didn't know what to say. Nothing would make Luca feel like they belonged. Even if Jesse knew down in his bones that this was where they were supposed to be. At least sometimes. Was it possible to exist in both places? To have a home here on land and one down below where they're biology was more forgiving?
For a long while he didn't say anything. He just let Luca's words hang in the air between them, giving them their own space to settle.
"M'sorry," he mumbled after another beat, squeezing Luca slightly. "I'm sorry it's so hard. Yous don't deserve it. No one deserves the kinda stuff yous hafta deal with. And I know it don't do much. That it's just words. But it doesn't make it any less true."
Carefully, he pulled away from Luca though he still made sure to sit just as close. "If... If yous wanna sit on the bottom of the lake for a bit I can keep watch. Make sure no one gets too close. S'pretty late so I doubt anyone else will be out but still... I don't wanna leave yous alone either."
Sid didn't have to think much about it; it was necessity. His range of motion was hindered and that had to be fixed. By keeping it in the frame of cause and effect he could address the problem and detach from the idea that the solution was uncomfortable. It would be more uncomfortable trying to get those stiff scales to allow his shoulder to move freely because they weren't made to accommodate the way human muscles worked; it was the easier result in the long run.
But in the moment it was the more unpleasant one.
He nodded, resting a hand on the counter and the sting was sharp, it ran down to his nerves and pulled at them because those thin scales must have been rooted there rather than simply like follicles of hair as he'd first suspected. He kept himself occupied trying to determine the biology of them, distancing himself from the experience.
If they had nerve connection they each had a blood supply so they must have been a mutation of skin cells rather than hair follicles. It made sense as to why they felt like a layer on his skin rather flexible. Fascinating, but not something he could devote as much study to at the time when those pinpoints of pain keep buzzing.
"It's fine," he repeated, "doesn't hurt much anyway." And Sid was grateful because, as much as he loathed it, he couldn't disassociate from the experience the way he often had to in moments like that. He had to remain aware just in case anything went wrong, even if the likelihood wasn't high.
But the burning sensation built with each twist and pull and each thin trickle of blood irritating the damaged skin more. Not blinding but not giving him much escape either. It was a shallow pain, a scrape away of skin, he reminded himself, breath by breath. And a complaint he had to repress because Jesse already was dealing with enough right then.
For the record, Jesse hated this. Not because he had to do it. But simply because he knew it was hurting Sid. Even if he didn't show it outwardly. With the force he had to exert to pull the scales out and the thin rivulets of blood that trailed from the, he had no doubt in his mind that it hurt like a bitch.
Which is why he scoffed when Sid told him it didn't hurt much. Part of him knew it was for his own benefit. He had a feeling that Sid did a lot for his own comfort and something told him that playing off the pain was one of those things. He appreciated it, truly. There weren't many people that took how he felt into consideration. But Jesse also hated it. He wasn't some simpering idiot who couldn't handle things that were out of the ordinary.
He often needed a minute to process but he could roll with the punches. He wasn't scared of the world. Just scared of his place in it.
"Mhm, m'sure," he mumbled, letting another of the scales tumble onto the counter with a soft noise. He paused then, pinching the pliers between his fingers tightly as he worked his jaw, debating saying anything more. Sid was already uncomfortable. He didn't want to make it any worse.
"D'yous need a minute or anything?" He asked when he felt the pile of scales seemed to be a considerable size.
That was what everyone said about dance. In some ways, April agreed. Like any exercise, when she was dancing her world folded down into its most basic elements. She didn't have room to think about anything else but the performance.
On the other hand: when she danced she focused on feeling, but it was the feeling of her body. The stretch and pull of her muscles. The pinch of her toes when she was en pointe.
Her feet were bruised and battered from her dancing. She ate little and exercised to her limits in order to keep her body light enough to lift prettily into the air. For just a moment, it always felt like flying. And April wished she could fly far away from where she was.
April shrugged to Jesse. "Yeah, sure. Contemporary works. Is there a certain--story or whatever you wanna tell?" After all, contemporary was categorized by it's lyricism and interpretations.
April continued to put Jesse on the spot. It was infuriating and also a great exercise in working creatively with someone. But at the moment it was more infuriating than anything. He didn't want to be the one making all the decisions. Not when she was a literal dancer. Whatever skill he had, she far surpassed it. He just needed her to put in some damn input.
Still, he simply ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "It's about a toxic relationship. Knowing that it's not good for you to stay in it but loving the person too much to let go. That kind of push and pull between leaving and staying. Whatever the movements are, I wanna convey that."
The movement was where he would struggle. He could picture it in his mind, could close his eyes and see the whole performance play out behind his eyelids, but to explain it to someone else? Damn near impossible. He had to trust that April could take his vision and put the right movements to it.
"It's not-" Sid trailed off, struggling to explain the point that was stuck in his head. He wasn't ashamed of his magic, quite the opposite in fact because it was one of the few things he took pride in so openly when he was in a place accepting enough for him to do so. Not so much places like that town where he had to hide like it was something wrong, something dark to be buried because other sorcerers saw it as dark magic and people would find the methods unpleasant.
But it felt like he was trying hard to keep the messy side of it well out of the light from the people he knew there, people who didn't live in the same world as he did where peeling away the layers of biology was as simple and pretty in its own way as a painting with rich colors or a study of exquisite design in flesh and blood.
It felt sacred among sorcerers like himself, respected, where so much of the rest of the world acted like it was some ugly, secret thing how people were strung together by vein and ligament, wrapped up in an earthy rainbow of skin tones and jeweled eyes.
It wasn't the horror movie some would have claimed it to be, if treated with respect.
Still he hesitated because what would Jesse think? Even something that simple? Would it stir a visceral repulsion?
But it felt like Jesse was asking for something, he clearly didn't like the idea of leaving the task to someone else, Sid just wasn't sure Jesse knew what he was volunteering for.
"You're not going to be able to do it that way," he relented, stepping away both to gather his thoughts and to the bathroom cabinet under the sink. Much like the cabinet in the kitchen that one was mostly occupied with an array of first aid supplies. Not his father's idea but Sid's own planning, because Paul hardly cared enough for precautions.
"I'm not asking you to do this," he reminded Jesse as he hauled out the box and set it on the counter next to the sink, "you don't have to."
And he didn't say it to make Jesse uncomfortable, Sid just saw no reason to not be direct about it. "It's going to bleed, probably not a lot though, and you're going to have to just...jerk the things out." He explained evenly, finding a thin, steel pair of pliers in the box clearly made more for medical function.
"I'll be fine," he reminded Jesse as he grabbed a towel off a nearby shelf and set it next to the sink, reaching to pull his shirt over his head, the discomfort in flexing his shoulder obvious. "But you don't have to," he gave him a last out, just in case.
Jesse didn't know what he was volunteering for. He had no idea how to descale someone. But he could rationalize it. The scales were like splinters in a finger. It hurt, yes, but the relief was better. There would be blood but it wasn't as if Sid was asking him to amputate a limb or something. It didn't have to be difficult or nasty.
The scales were splinters.
He repeated the mantra as he watched as Sid moved away and rummaged through the cabinet under the sink. He was no stranger to the... interesting amount of first aid kits that were placed almost strategically around the house. It did make him wonder why he needed so many of them. Did his magic leave him with that many wounds or was it something else? Something far more sinister?
He didn't ask those questions, of course. There were plenty of questions that Jesse didn't ask Sid. If only because he had learned that Sid wouldn't divulge anything he didn't feel like. And because Jesse had a feeling that whatever answers he did give him would only confuse him more.
Sid liked to talk to riddles; at least that was what it seemed like to Jesse. He explained things, sure, but more often than not Jesse had to puzzle them out for himself.
But he pushed all that from his mind as Sid handed him the pliers. "I know. I want to help," he affirmed, waiting for him to grab that towel before he moved back in. It's just a bunch of splinters. Sparkly, pretty splinters, he kept the mantra going in his head as he prepared to pull the first one out.
His eyebrows scrunched together as he did, bottom lip drawn between his teeth as the pliers pinched a scale between the teeth. "Alright," he mumbled as he pulled at the flimsy scale. It was a slight struggle but eventually it pulled free with that strange noise of an object leaving flesh and Jesse did his best not to grimace as a few beads of blood bloomed from the spot it had once occupied.
He resolutely did not look at Sid as he let it drop to the counter, not wanting to see any discomfort on the other's face, before he moved to pull another. "M'sorry..."
He doubted it was meant to be obvious but he recognized the hint of discomfort in Jesse's expression and it wasn't surprising. He didn't ask for people to be okay with things, and he usually wasn't honest anyway. But when he was the truth could be uncomfortable. And it was only a fraction of bigger truths he couldn't tell Jesse in the first place. He might have trusted him more than other people but he didn't trust everything else and the damage the truth could do.
From the outside it just looked like he was disinterested in people and very private by nature and that suited his needs just fine. But some people didn't know him that way, they saw other parts of him that disrupted that view and it was a risk that they wouldn't shake that carefully constructed shield.
He was a little surprised, and inwardly a bit nervous honestly, that he'd let the truth go that far with Jesse. But it wasn't the sort of thing he could undo and there wasn't enough to that truth to harm Jesse by proxy. Hopefully.
"I don't know if this is a great idea," Sid couldn't help thinking of the logistics, because he had to think that way to detach from the side of it that affected him so directly. He might have enjoyed a little rough edge to things in other situations at times but he was actually a masochist when it came to real suffering.
Acceptance didn't mean it was a welcome experience.
"I was tr-" Sid caught himself; language was important in taking something cruel and making it easier to make sound acceptable. He loathed the fact he fell to manipulating the words just to strain some of the weight of them but there were some conversations he just did not want to have with anyone.
Just like when he'd gotten sick, Sid seemed determined to keep Jesse at arm's length. It was more than a little infuriating. Especially when Jesse wanted to help. He knew he wasn't as well composed as others, that there were still things that made him uncomfortable, but he was trying. He wanted to be there for Sid. To help him with these sorts of things.
If only Sid would let him.
He was ready to call it a defeat, to retreat back to the 4*Town house so that Sid could call Oz and take care of the scaly problem when Sid was agreeing. Which... that fight was not one that he had thought he would win easily. Or at all.
"I-- I don't hafta. If yous really don't want me to," he spoke quietly, wanting to give Sid yet another out. While he wanted, he didn't want to force Sid into something he didn't really want. If he'd prefer Oz to do so... Jesse wouldn't be pleased but he'd understand.
Even still, he let his fingers hover just slightly over the scales there, just waiting.
At the first moment of touch, Luca froze. Almost no one had touched them when their scales were out since they left Arcadia. (No one but Milo. Milo who thought them beautiful. Who had held them while soaked and crying and so alien. Who had never hesitated.) It felt so strange and vulnerable, almost too intimate and a little wrong.
But after that frozen moment, they melted, leaning against Jesse's side even if they didn't lift up their head yet. He was here. Through some miracle of the Three, he wasn't running away. He didn't seem to think they were a monster.
"I am complicated. I make things complicated just by being here. I'm a sea elf living in the human world. I have an extreme allergy to iron, and my favorite hobby is to fix appliances. Anytime something goes wrong in town, I have to get rescued because I can't run good enough to even get to safety without getting an asthma attack because my lungs are built for the ocean. As soon as I get wet, I look like this, and my anxiety means I'm constantly risking causing a rainstorm. Sometimes I just get so...tired. Of being me."
Jesse listened as Luca spoke, holding tight to them the whole time. He knew what that felt like. To feel wrong, out of place, out of depth. How often had he wondered if there was something wrong with himself because he wasn't like everyone else? Not a true fairy and not a true human. Some sort of being that was stuck in the in-between.
Luca and Sid and so many others helped him see that wasn't the truth. That all those things that made him different, that he viewed as wrong, were the exact same things that made him exactly who he was. And that was a beautiful thing.
He didn't know if any of that would help Luca in the moment. Not when everything seemed to be so big and all consuming. But he wanted to try. Wanted to help Luca the same way that they'd been helping him all along.
"Iron is dangerous to me, too," he mumbled, albeit lamely. "I'm accident prone on the best days and a complete disaster on the worst. I don't understand how Sid deals with my mood swings. I don't even know how to be a proper fairy." He trailed off, feeling like he wasn't doing much at all to help Luca. He sounded like those people who didn't really hear what someone was saying.
So he took a breath before leaning his head against Luca's, his eyes slipping closed as he tried to take in what they were saying. What they were really saying.
